The blog of In My Footsteps Podcast host and author Christopher Setterlund. It contains a buffet of topics. The wackiness of daily life with Initial Impressions 2.0. There is a link to the weekly In My Footsteps Podcast. Poetry collections, life topics, some history, and more. There is something for everyone here much like with the podcast.
This is a weekly recurring series featuring five poems all written within the same calendar year. They capture a sense of what my life and mind were like at a certain age and show the evolution of my life, mind, and writing style. This is 2003. I was 25 years old. This was a time featuring a lot of soul-searching and trying to figure out what my path in life was supposed to be.
There’s a ghost living inside of me. Close now to five years, it’s been haunting me. Need someone to cleanse my soul. Heartbeats counting down one by one. Need an exorcist to set me free. I used to love but forgot in time, where love stopped and hate began, where was that line. Where is the way back to that line, to get back into myself. I am the purgatory, heartbeats counting down to none. If I cry at night it’s the ghost stretching my love toward the light. There are ghosts of my mother, ghosts of my past. There’s a ghost of my father, and many love’s that didn’t last. I see ghosts of dark times, ghosts all in white. Ghosts that look like my brother, ghosts of one that could be another.
Now is not the time to run away. Not the time to hide.
Now is the time to take my hand. It’s the time to come inside.
Need someone to bring it into me. Heartbeats counting down one by one. Need an exorcist to pull this cancer out of me. In the face of love the ghost of all gone wrong I see. I used to know where real life and dreams separated, in between heartbeats I’m still searching. There’s a ghost living inside of me. With every breath I take it’s haunting me. Won’t let go until I’m withered and gone. Need someone to make it go away.
Now is not the time to run away. I’ll face the light of this new day.
Take my hand from over my eyes. I need you by my side.
Heartbeats counting two by two. To face the ghosts all I need is you.
Love is first sight, shimmering light found in smiling eyes. A dozen roses, warm fires and red wine, the door to vulnerability opened when all is fine. Finding meaning in the meaningless, necessity in the unnecessary. It’s the melting touch that you need so much, the blinding beauty even if only you see it’s there. It’s having the courage to do it, the courage to live for them, to show that you care.
Love is Christmas in July, the swimming butterflies round your heart, the music of their voice that makes the hardest stone cry. Walking in the park, setting free the fears and giving your all, birthdays, holidays, every days. Break down the walls or allow them to be broken. Emotion and passion, the burning bond in words unspoken. Sparks become flames and there’s no desire to extinguish, the bed in which we sleep, where the talk always sounds so sweet.
Love is the feeling I get when we’re together, it grows when we’re apart, it grows right now. Simple pleasures become deep oceans of emotions, see myself in you, see myself with no one but you. It’s the security in every day I live, love is as good to receive as it is to give. It’s everywhere, in what we see and share. Open hearts, open pages, open eyes, open veils, it’s the melting touch that you need so much. The blinding beauty even if only you see it’s there. It’s having the courage to do it, the courage to live for them, to always be there, the courage to love someone.
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Streetlight Symphony
Peace of mind is hard to find. Wind-blown kisses from the summer side. A red streetlight ahead, saying goodbye to all there is left. Fantasy and reality, thoughts and dreams, asking why is not an option. A green streetlight signals the next step of life is here. Though the sun may never set on us, the years of twilight will be an unkind reminder. A yellow streetlight says hold on to the emotion, the future could go either way.
When you go don’t say goodbye. I don’t want to know it’s over.
When you go I’ll close my eyes. I’ll fool myself a little longer.
When you go don’t say goodbye. You’ll share my dreams and own my thoughts.
When you go I will survive. It may have been reality but you were my fantasy.
Peace of mind is hard to find. All my answers are lost on the other side. Green to red or red to green, the only love I know is the love that I have been in. There may be nothing left for you here, and you’ll take my beauty and inspiration with you. But if ever in time you should need me to, I’ll drop what I call my life and come find you.
When you go don’t say goodbye. I’ll face reality another day.
When you go I’ll close my eyes.
The breeze on my face will be a fantasy that you’ve stayed.
A look back at 1995 the year in music. What in the world was The Noid? Some of the early fails of the FOX television network. Episode 177 helps light a fire of nostalgia during the dark days of winter. The show kicks off with a killer guitar riff and thumping bass line as we look at 1995 the year in music. This is the first of two parts. It covers January - June 1995. The rest of the year will be covered in July. The 1980s were filled with unique and sometimes downright weird product mascots. Perhaps none exemplified those descriptions like The Noid. A creation of Domino's Pizza the Noid was meant to shine a positive light on the pizza chain's quality and delivery service. Did it work? We'll do a deep dive. Although it seems like forever the FOX television network has been around for less than four decades. Those initial years of the late 1980s were filled with growing pains. This week's Top 5 takes a look at some of the biggest show failures of the FOX network in the 1980s. Married with Children and The Simpsons are NOT on this list. There is also a brand new This Week In History and Time Capsule focused on the groundbreaking creation of Apple's iTunes. For more great content become a subscriber on Patreon!
Are
you over forty? Do you remember growing up? Whether you answered yes
or no, In My Footsteps is the nostalgia podcast for you! If you do
remember, this show will bring back warm memories. If you don’t
remember, this show will be a crash course in all things nostalgia
spanning the 1960s through the 1990s. One thing is for sure: We are
not old; we are vintage!
What
Is Considered Nostalgia?
What
exactly are the subjects that make up the buffet of this nostalgia
podcast? It might be considered a little bit of everything. Certain
topics are focused upon in the show. If you are over forty, you have
seen quite a lot of changes. We cover it all on the podcast. New
episodes drop every Wednesday, you can also click this link for shows
about the following topics.
1.
Music:
British
Invasion, Funk, Disco, Punk, New Wave, Hip Hop, Alternative, Grunge,
Techno
2.
Movies:
Black
and White to CGI, Alfred Hitchcock to Tim Burton, Psycho to Sixth
Sense, The Graduate to Office Space, Jaws and Star Wars to Terminator
and Matrix
3.
Television:
3
channels to cable, Steve Allen to Conan O’Brien, Flintstones to
Simpsons, Route 66 to Beverly Hills 90210, All In the Family to
Seinfeld
4.
Pop
Culture Events: The
Beatles arrival,The
Moon Landing, Woodstock, Studio 54, MTV, Nintendo, World Wide Web
5.
Innovations
and Technology: Computers
and Internet, Cassettes and CDs, VHS and DVDs, Shopping Malls to
Online Shopping, Pinball to Handheld Games
Travel
Back In Time
1960s:
This
was a
transformative decade marked by social upheaval, cultural revolution,
and significant political change. It was characterized by
groundbreaking advancements in music, fashion, and art, with iconic
figures like The Beatles and Bob Dylan shaping popular culture. The
decade was a time of Cold War tensions, the Vietnam War, and the
Space Race, culminating in the historic moon landing in 1969.
1970s:
This
decade was one of transition and turbulence, characterized by
economic challenges, political scandals, and cultural shifts. It
embraced the rise of disco, punk rock, and the sexual revolution,
reflecting a more liberated and diverse society. Technological
advancements like the personal computer began to emerge, setting the
stage for the digital age.
1980s:
The
80s was
known for its economic boom, technological innovation, and
distinctive pop culture. It
saw the rise of personal computers, video games, and cable
television, transforming everyday life and entertainment. Music,
fashion, and film were dominated by bold, vibrant styles, with icons
like Michael Jackson and Madonna defining the cultural landscape.
1990s:
This
was a
decade of technological revolution, cultural diversity, and
significant geopolitical shifts. The widespread adoption of the
internet and mobile phones transformed communication and daily life,
laying the foundation for the digital age. The 90s were defined by
the rise of grunge music, hip-hop, and the popularity of television
shows like "Friends" and "The X-Files."
How
the Nostalgia Is Served
The
podcast is a collection of segments stitched together into a fun
quilt of memories. There are deep dives into various topics. The show
includes weekly segments like Top 5s and This Week In History. In
addition there are specialty segments like educational short film and
employee training video reviews.
Why
Follow In My Footsteps?
I
was born in the 1970s. I am a child of the 80s and a teenager of the
90s. To top it off I am a lover of all things nostalgia and enjoy
sharing
it with others. I even like
the research that it takes to find hidden gems of pop culture. All
you have to do is hit *play* sit back and get lost in the memories
each episode will bring back.
Conclusion
Are
you over forty? Congratulations! You have lived through and seen
quite a bit. So many
of those memories are highlighted and discussed in this nostalgia
podcast. Are your childhood memories in high-definition? Are they
fading like a VHS tape that has been recorded over one too many
times? Whatever condition you are in you will feel like a kid again
when you click the link to the podcast below.
P.S.
You don’t need to be over forty to enjoy nostalgia!
Title: Parallel Calls, Heat Waves, and Life’s Curveballs Genre: Comedy/Drama Logline: Chris navigates bizarre phone calls, jury duty frustrations, and nostalgic heat wave memories while pondering life's strange synchronicities and pop culture oddities.
Act 1: The Call from the Future
Chris receives a call from a number identical to his, save for the area code. He humorously speculates, “Was it me from the future with tonight’s lottery numbers? No such luck.” His imagination runs wild as he playfully contemplates the possibilities before moving on with his day.
Act 2: Independence Day Eerie Sync
On the Fourth of July, Chris and his friends watch Independence Day while listening to Pandora. The song “Hallelujah” plays just as the alien ships start obliterating cities. “It synced so perfectly, it was eerie,” Chris recounts to his friends, who agree it was both chilling and oddly beautiful.
Act 3: Shake-Weight Shenanigans
At the gym, Chris notices someone using a Shake-Weight. With his usual wit, he comments to a friend, “It’s basically a vibrating dumbbell. Watching someone use it is… provocative. Check out the ads, you’ll see what I mean.” They both chuckle at the absurdity of the product.
Act 4: Jury Duty Blues
Chris recounts his recent jury duty experience, complete with a cheesy instructional video reminiscent of Troy McClure’s from The Simpsons. “Got up earlier than for work, drove an hour in 95-degree heat, and got sent home by 10:30. I was steamed! I wanted a trial just to fry someone.” His friends laugh at his misfortune, sympathizing with the universal dread of jury duty.
Act 5: Internet Gold and Sports Lament
Chris shares his latest YouTube find: Drinking Out of Cups. “It’s the most random, funniest three minutes you’ll see. Guy locked in a closet tripping on acid—hilarious!” He also discusses the “Please Stay, LeBron” song from Cleveland. “Sad, funny, and filled with local ‘celebrities.’ Smart move, Drew Carey, staying out of it.”
Act 6: Celebrity Scandals and Personal Loss
Chris touches on Lindsay Lohan’s jail sentence. “Part of me says ‘good, maybe she’ll smarten up.’ Another part feels bad—our society loves to build people up just to tear them down.” He shifts to a more somber note, visiting his late Nana’s house. “It’s been six months, but it still hurts. Change often feels like loss.”
Act 7: Local Characters and Aging Realizations
Chris recounts spotting a familiar local character possibly with Tourette’s wandering the main street, humorously comparing him to his gym’s chinless regular from Episode 1. Later, buying beer without being carded, he reflects, “Cool until I realized the grey in my beard isn’t helping me look young.”
Act 8: Retro Impressions - The Heat Wave of 2002
In a new segment called “Retro Impressions,” Chris recalls a landscaping job during a heat wave in 2002. “Digging a 6-foot ditch in Sagamore, 100 degrees, no water—saw purple spots by the end. Got home for a cold shower, felt like Andre the Giant was bearhugging me. Heat exhaustion? Probably. Fun? Definitely not.”
Tagline:
“Chris delivers unfiltered takes on life’s oddities, blending humor with heartfelt reflections.”
1. My Nana passed away 15
years ago this week. I still miss her like she died just yesterday.
Despite that, I do feel at peace knowing that I spent so much time
with her while she was alive. Of course, I’d always want one more
get-together but I’m blessed to have thousands of memories of her.
That being said I do get sentimental on certain days. Her birthday,
Christmas Eve, and her death date. I still remember it like it was
yesterday. She had died late the previous night so I found out early
the next morning. I remember feeling numb. I found it interesting
that only moments after finding out Nana had died I spotted 3
crows on the roof of the house next door. They represent death and
the afterlife so it was very appropriate.
2. My favorite Chinese food
spot on Cape Cod is Sun On in Dennis. It has been for loads of years.
To me, the food is always great. However, one thing I really like about
them is that they remember you. The man who I think is either the owner
or manager always remembers my name. In fact, I went in this week and
saw him for the first time in probably a couple of years. He
immediately smiled and said hello and remembered my name. Yes, that
earned a little cash tip in the jar.
3. I am going into 2025 with
more of a clean slate than usual. Sure I have things I am working on, or
working toward, but I am also feeling like I need to leave a lot more
open. This will allow things to come into my life that I might
normally miss. I don’t have any books I’m working on. I don’t
even have any book events scheduled. These are typically the times
that unforeseen things show up. I’m cautiously excited to see where
things will be at the end of 2025.
4. I had a very low-key New
Year’s Eve. I definitely don’t miss those days of staying out
until after midnight and drinking. Don’t get me wrong, there are
plenty of funny stories from years past. More funny because I
survived. This included a year, probably 2013 when I drove home
from a favorite restaurant/bar close to 1am. My drive home included
blinding snow, a curvy road, and a good buzz. Like I said I can laugh
now but that easily could have been how my story ended.
5. At a small local
convenience store I was gifted a huge pleasant surprise. No, not a
winning lottery ticket. This store carries the 16oz 5-Hour Energy
drinks that I love but rarely can find. The last time I had one was
when I was up in Brattleboro, Vermont in August. I bought a few and
now know I can get them whenever I want. The store itself is a bit
sketchy but that just means I need to get in and out fast with my
haul.
6. I was faced with a sad
reality on New Year’s morning. I got up *relatively* early to go to
the gym to kind of kick 2025 off right. I wasn’t up that early but
I rolled into the gym at 9am. It was a good workout and the gym
really wasn’t crowded. It wasn’t until I was finishing up by
walking a bit on a treadmill that I noticed something. Easily 95% of
the people in there were older than me, and older by a lot. I wasn’t
the youngest in the gym but I had to be close. It made me realize
that my ‘out late partying’ days are really over. Well, honestly
they were never that crazy anyway, but even if I wanted to start
being a party guy it’s way too late.
7. The good news: my blog,
this blog, recently passed 450K total views. The bad news: I’ve
been running this blog since 2008. We’ll keep that second part
quiet. I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 blog posts dating
back to my debut post on October 25, 2008. Did you know that you can
make money on these blogs through ad clicks? There is a $100 minimum
threshold for payout though. Would you like to know when the last
time was that I got a payout on my blog? February 21, 2014. So going
on 9 years. I’m not saying that blogging doesn’t pay off. I’m
just saying that you need to have other side hustles or try out
different subjects to write about. But oh man I’m getting close to
that next $100 payout. I can’t wait to use it on groceries for the
week.
8. From
the ‘Everything Is Coming Up Milhouse’ department: I was at a
grocery store paying at the self-checkout. I had cash but the total
included 1 cent. The question came up, do I break a bill and get 99
cents back? Or do I use my debit card to avoid getting back that
change? Well, the grocery gods were smiling on me as I looked on the
ground beside me and saw a penny on the floor. No this wasn’t like
finding a winning lottery ticket on the floor but I guess it was the
next best thing. Maybe not the next best. More like the 100th
next best but still, exact change is a fun accomplishment.
9. After many years I finally
have a really good writing station. I bought a comfy office chair, an
actual desk, and a plastic floor cover so my chair doesn’t tear
up the carpet. Within a few minutes of sitting down at this desk, I
found myself working on several projects at once. Having a different setting for work is indeed a big key for creativity. So
far it’s only been writing and editing, no recording but as of now, I am thrilled with this setup. Plus I put everything together myself
so I feel a bit handy as well.
10. Here is what is likely the
most appropriate shopping trip for me. I bought myself a basketball.
I haven’t owned a basketball since high school and I want to start
playing again as the weather gets better. It’ll be an easy way to
trick myself into exercising. However, I also bought myself a pill
organizer. You know the one with the days listed and their own
individual containers? I keep forgetting to take my vitamins so I got
that as a reminder. It’s like teenage me and middle-aged me are
being melded together into one.
This might end up being the
hardest part of my Las Vegas life to share. Not because of anything I
did or that happened, but mainly because the memories are hazy. We
are looking back to the year 2000 from the end of 2024. A lot of time
has passed.
The time leading up to the
move is fairly clear in my mind. Much of my time in Vegas is clear,
obviously, because I kept a journal. Then there is the in-between.
The period from maybe the last week of August through late October
when I began the journal is a bit muddled.
My memory seems to show me
that my father was a bit hesitant to have me come and stay with him
in Las Vegas. I think part of him relented because of a chance to try
to show my mother that he could actually be a supportive parent. I
think another part was guilt over being a terrible parent and likely
a bit of pressure from family members. The bottom line is I was more
of a tenant than a son when I moved out there.
There were scores of sad but
hopeful goodbyes as I left. I remember my greatest sadness being
toward my niece Kaleigh. She was about 15 months old and I had been a
big part of her life throughout it. I hated the idea of her growing
up and not remembering me.
I packed up everything I had.
At that point there was no laptop, no smartphone, my biggest piece of
technology was probably my Sony Discman. Speaking of Discman, I
packed all of my CDs to bring with me on the plane. Yes, nothing
was mailed ahead of time.
How did I pull off bringing
my CDs? It was simple. A few years earlier I had been given a
large hockey duffel bag by my friend John. Or he just ‘forgot’ it
at my house, I don’t remember. The bag was large enough to fit our
friend Barry inside of it. I loaded that thing up with as many CDs
as I could fit. In the end that bag weighed a ton and was hell to
move. I can remember upon my arrival at my father’s apartment
having burn marks on my shoulder from trying to carry the duffel over
my shoulder through the airport.
Oh yes, the flight out. I was
terrified of flying. My initial trip to Vegas in January 2000 was
complete with me leaving a sweaty palm print on my Discman as I
clutched it for dear life as the plane took off.
On this second flight, I was a
bit calmer. Plus I was filled with optimism about this new life I was
embarking on. I was 22 years old and had spent my entire life living
in the relatively rural area of Cape Cod surrounded by the vast
majority of my family and friends. Here I was now venturing thousands
of miles away to a city where I’d be able to count on one hand the
number of people I knew and still have fingers left.
Hope. That was the biggest
thing I remembered about the time leading up to the move as well as
the first few weeks. There was this feeling of anything being
possible. Cape Cod felt restrictive. In my early 20’s I believed
the only way to fulfill my potential was to move away. As much as I
love Cape Cod to this day I still believe that the opportunities are
fewer there. In Las Vegas, there was a seemingly endless landscape of
opportunity.
My arrival was the first week
of September. I believe it was right after Labor Day. Despite fall being on
the horizon the heat was palpable. There was a string of 110+ degree
days when I first got there. Sure it was a dry heat which made it
tolerable. Still, when I’d open the door to the 2nd
floor apartment to step outside it felt like someone blowing a hair
dryer in my face.
Over the ensuing weeks, I
would use that dry heat to my advantage when it came to laundry. I’d
hang my clothes on the balcony before going off to school or work and
come home to dry clothes that smelled like the outdoors.
Of course, there was one time
that it was windy and when I came home from school I noticed much of
my laundry had blown off of the balcony and was strewn all over the
grass and parking lot. That was not a good time. There was also a
time that I tried to do laundry a bit late and while my clothes were
in the washer in the apartment complex’s laundry room the attendant
locked the door. I was able to call and get them to unlock it so I
could get my clothes though.
So I had arrived. My father
worked as a cook and was gone the vast majority of the week. He was
either working or drinking and gambling at one of the smaller
‘locals’ casinos. His favorite was a place called Arizona
Charlie’s. In a weird bit of trivia, the restaurant where he worked
called Lakes Lounge was located in the same strip mall where
Diff’rent Strokes
actress Dana Plato had robbed a video store in 1991. It was a place
called Lakes Video.
I was on my own basically
from the jump in Vegas. My father was always out. My family, Uncle
Eric, Aunt Emma, and Patrick lived in Vegas but it was about 15
minutes to drive from West Charleston Boulevard to their house on
Pioneer Avenue. I didn’t have a car, plus they had established
lives so it wasn’t like I could just hop on the bus and go visit.
My first major orders of
business in my Las Vegas life were to get a job and to enroll in
classes at the nearby Community College of Southern Nevada. The
college courses were an easier task.
On the grounds at CCSN
I had been taking classes in
Communication at Cape Cod Community College. So when I enrolled in
Vegas I looked for classes along those same lines. A major one I
remember is Broadcast Writing. I learned how to write scripts for
television news which was fun. The college was a 5 minute walk away
and had a neat layout. There were all sorts of colorful and unique
structures all over the campus. One time I bought a disposable camera
at the nearby Walgreens and took a bunch of photos of these
structures.
The job was a different
story. I did not have boatloads of money stashed away for when I got
to Vegas. Being 22 and having never been away from home my
preparation consisted more on packing my CDs in a duffel bag than
socking away money. This proved to be a major problem and maybe the
ultimate predictor of my failure there.
My father wanted money for me
to stay at his apartment. I don’t know why I thought he might see
this as a chance to help his son out for a bit until I got on my
feet. I should have known better. He was always incredibly selfish.
He routinely refused to pay child support and then once I was working
he would be constantly in my ear begging for money. The fact that he
immediately saw me as an ATM machine again should not have been a
surprise.
My funds were steadily
leaking once I got to Vegas. I had to be a bit rude to my former job
on Cape Cod to get them to send me the last of my paychecks so that
I could stay afloat a little longer. Desperation was setting in
quickly which was not a good sign. I needed something fast.
What I ended up doing was
applying for and getting a job in the back stockroom of a Target a
few miles away. I felt it was just a stopover as I went to school
and until a better job came along. I’ll never forget sitting in a
conference room with a handful of other new arrivals to Target. The
person in management running the orientation told us to write down in
the ‘pay’ area $6 per hour.
It was a big-time gut punch.
Sure it was 2000 but $6/hr was half of what I was making on Cape Cod.
I felt terrible. I moved across the country to get a job making half
of what I was making? I kept reminding myself that it was just the
beginning and that something better would come along. Still, my pay was
definitely a motivator for how hard I worked.
The Target where I worked in Las Vegas
My time working at Target was
an adventure. The rest of the ‘Backstock Boys,’ as we called
ourselves, were still in high school. I was the old man. They didn’t
work hard, just like me, but they were all harmless and fun to be
around. The irony is that today I only can remember one of them.
The one Backstock Boy I
remember is a part of one of my favorite Las Vegas stories. He had a
crush on a girl who worked there. She was dating another employee.
My fellow Backstock Boy, seeing that I was in relatively good shape,
had a proposition for me. I still don’t know if he was serious or
not but he offered me $100 to beat the hell out of this girl’s
boyfriend.
Now I don’t know what my
beating this guy would have done to make the girl want to date
someone else. I doubt the $100 would have even paid for my bail money
when I inevitably got arrested for assault. Nonetheless, this kid
would nickname me The Assassin. He would either flash the money
fingers sign to me or just shout out ‘a hundred bucks,’ several
times a day when we were working.
I said above that I was
feeling the pinch for money but it was never bad enough that I wanted
to beat people up for money. The actual work was easy. We boys would
put a lot of stuff away in the back. We’d get calls over the radio
to retrieve an item for a ‘guest.’ A lot of the time we were just
messing around listening to the day's hits on 98.5 KLUC.
A few things that I remember
about my Target backstock days.
One, my boss was an addict. I
forget his name, which is good, but he was the backstock boss. He
was always on something when he came back to give us our marching
orders. This was evident because he’d tell us something, then
leave, then come back a little while later and say the exact same
thing like it had never happened. The story was he had been injured
on the job and rather than take time off he had started taking pain
meds. Now he was hooked.
Two, there was one kid I
worked with who would routinely make himself pass out as a joke. He
would take a really deep breath and then bend over and breathe in and
out in short quick breaths. Then he’d fall over. We’d have to
make sure there was something soft to break his fall so he didn’t
crack his head open on the concrete floor.
Three, a favorite pastime
of the Backstock Boys was as follows. At the end of one of the aisles
in the stockroom, we would pile large pillows against the wall. Then
one of us would get a running start with a scooter or a bicycle and
crash headlong into the pillows. I told you, for $6/hr I wasn’t
going to be killing myself stocking shelves. Target did have a Pizza
Hut cafeteria so there was that.
Getting beyond college and
work there was a lot of freedom in Las Vegas. It was option overload
when it came to food. This is probably my most cherished memory from
this time. Within a mile walk of where I live,d there was probably
every fast food spot imaginable. It included McDonald’s, Burger
King, Wendy’s, Carl’s Jr., Wienerschnitzel, Del Taco, and more.
My two favorites were Jack In the Box and Panda Express.
Jack In the Box was in
between where I lived and my school so I paid them a visit
constantly. Burgers and chili cheese curly fries for dinner before
watching WWF Monday Night Raw which came on at 5pm since I was out
west. I had a few Jack antenna balls I wish I could find. They were
the head of the mascot.
Panda Express was and still
is my favorite of any fast-food place. The closest one to where I
live is over an hour away. When I was in Las Vegas it was about 1 ¼
miles each way to walk to it. I gladly did this a few times a week in
the 100-degree heat for some of that orange chicken.
If I needed groceries, with
whatever meager funds I had from my high-paying Target job, I visited
Albertson’s. The main memory I have of that store is the alcove of
slot machines that were beside the entrance. Many a time I was called
by those belles and chimes.
I would blow through some, or
maybe all, of my money at the slot machines in Albertson’s or the
nearby 7-Eleven. I stated in the last blog that winning on my first
try at slots when I arrived for my visit to Las Vegas was the worst
thing that could have happened.
That became a reality when
left to my own devices. Within weeks of moving out there, I was in
debt due to a gambling addiction that only stopped when the money ran
out, and sometimes not even then. I routinely overdrew my checking
account blowing money on slots. It was a regular issue that I mentioned
a lot in my journal.
Fast food and slim money
combine in the story of the gym I signed up at. Q The Sports Club was
a short walk from the apartment. It was a massive 24-hour gym with
part of the building being a glass, or plexiglass, pyramid.
It had all of the cutting-edge equipment. This included cardio equipment where you could access
the internet. Of course that was only while you were moving. So if
you were peddling the bike you were online, once you stopped the
screen would go black. It was a brilliant way to get people to keep
working out. There were many times I would be writing an email while
peddling only for me to slow down and have the screen go black.
I can remember often walking
to the gym late at night, sometimes after 10pm, and never feeling
concerned about my surroundings. Perhaps it was just my age. I do
know that the apartment complex where I lived a few years later
appeared on the television show COPS. I guess I left at the right
time.
When I look back on Q The
Sports Club a few things pop into my head. One was the smell of
chlorine that hit you when you walked in the front door. This was due
to the pool just to the right of the entrance. The other was when I
was being shown around the premises by an employee when I signed up.
When we walked past the hot tub he made sure to tell me that since
they were open 24 hours I could theoretically come in with someone at
3am and go into the hot tub and...you know. Honestly, that’s the
first story I tell people about that gym.
I am sure that there are more
of the nuts and bolts of my initial arrival in Las Vegas that I am
forgetting. Being 25 years ago makes details a bit hazy while the
major talking points remain clear.
This brings us up to date as
to when the actual Las Vegas journal begins. I was somewhere between
six and seven weeks into my time there. Things had not been
progressing the way I had hoped and I felt alone and hopeless with
nobody to confide in. I ended up confiding in a little black spiral
notebook instead.
In less than two months I
went from believing that all I had to do was get to Vegas and my life
would immediately be better, to feeling like I had escaped one rut
only to fall into another. My Quarter-Life Crisis did not end just
because I moved away from Cape Cod. I naively thought it was that
easy.
Next, we will get into the
actual journal from the time. It starts on October 25, 2000, and
things were looking bleak.
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