Christopher Setterlund, In My Footsteps

Thursday, July 30, 2026

2004: My Life In Poetry Form (Part 3) - Throwback Thursday

This is a recurring series featuring five poems all written within the same calendar year. They capture a sense of what my life and mind were like at a certain age and show the evolution of my life, mind, and writing style. We return to 2004. I was 26 years old. I had met one of the most important people and was in the midst of an important relationship in my life. It highly affected my writing.

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Raindrops

Staring out of my window, the raindrops changing shapes before my eyes.

I’d love to watch the sunrise, I’d love to see some blue skies, but I haven’t got past this rain-soaked window yet. Turning to my wall, headlights flash a tearful rain shadow. It could be the angels' tears for me; someday I will know. Sitting on the bed unmade, on the spot where last night I prayed. For a voice, a sign, a reason or rhyme, for some raindrops in my head to wash clean my mind. It’s silent in here now but for the rain, like pebbles tapping a prayer for me. Looking at the ceiling, through it up and away to where I know you are. The distance in miles and years doesn’t seem so far. I know you can hear my whispers through the falling stars. Staring out of my window,

the rain rolling down reminds me of me.

Soon those drops will dry, so in time, I hope, will mine.

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The Art of Losing

Tell me, my baby, where did you go?

I woke up this morning, and everything was gone.

It's so cold, the world is dark, without you in my arms.

Can I find you? Will you come back?

Everything is blue,

from my eyes to the sky and every inch in between.

Inside I'm wasting away, crippled and broken-hearted;

it could be my last day.

I'm tired from tears, weak from chasing answers,

lost in all my fears.

Why can't I find you baby? You used to be everywhere.

There are no words I can say. Look into my heart,

you'll find it all in there.

I love you so much it hurts, now the pain is all I have left of you.

If I could paint a picture of me without you,

all I'd need is gray and blue.

Can you hear me calling you baby?

I went to bed last night,

and your name was all the night could hear.

The sun rose black as coal, my mind is a winter storm,

no one can find me.

Only you can save me from this lonely road I'm on.

You hold the sweetest verse to my most beautiful song.

I've lost my voice, I've only got one choice, to admit I was wrong.

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Under the Streetlight

Spinning slowly around.

Slow dancing with my baby under the streetlight shining down.

I can smell your sweet perfume when I close my eyes.

In my ear you sing a soft lullaby.

I could stay here forever, as long as we're together, I'll dance with you wherever, the streetlight is shining down.

Rest now, our dance floor is quiet.

Hold me tight and feel my heartbeat.

Never has my life felt this complete.

Here slow dancing with my baby on an empty street.

We don't know why, but here we are.

Weaving in and out of the headlights of passing cars.

Eye to eye and cheek to cheek, still a little too far.

No need to look up, I'm face to face with my own beautiful star.

I could stay here forever, and as long as we're together, I'll dance with you wherever the streetlights are shining down.

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Your Eyes

I’ve been thinking about you, all the time, and every day. Something you do to me makes it so I can’t turn away. I’ve been wondering could this thing so beautiful be true. It’s your eyes; I’m hypnotized. There’s magnificence I see in them exotic rains enhancing the flames. It’s your eyes. They’re shining peace through the storms. Those eyes and what they give, I want to see through them. I want to see how the world’s beauty looks, like the ocean waves melting away.

I’ve been seeing you, walking endlessly inside my mind. You’re just a daydream, but something remains. You’re playing me like a song I can’t stop. Should I turn this melody up? It’s ringing in my ears all night. Your voice keeps me hanging on, singing through the night until dawn. It’s your eyes. There’s a sensual mix of crazy and love. It’s your eyes. They’re the deep end of the ocean, they turn my stone to clay. Those eyes and how they make me feel, I want to see through them. I want to see how they separate you from the rest, how they capture hearts and minds.

All that is mystery is in your eyes. All that is heaven on earth, all that keeps me going. When I have no direction, it’s where I look. When I feel too cold to move, it’s where the warmth lies. They hold back the hurricane, but could bring the storm at any time. They hold back the river, but could flood my mind in a wink. They could break me, but they hold the strength to save this falling man. It’s your eyes, I’m speechless. It’s your eyes, it’s hopeless. It’s your eyes, nothing less. I want to see inside; I must confess. I want to see you through your eyes. I want to see me through your eyes.

I want to see through your eyes.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2026

In My Footsteps Podcast Episode 254: The Sad Genius of Robin Williams, Chappelle's Show, Collectible Investment Fails(7-29-2026)

Donate to the GoFundMe for my feature-length film, The Cabin!

The sad genius of Robin Williams. The undeniable impact of Chappelle's Show. Some of the biggest collectibles trends that were investment fails.

Episode 254 is loaded with legends and icons.

Robin Williams was one of the most talented actors and comedians of his or any generation. He could be a ball of manic energy in comedy, a relatable everyman, and even a terrifying killer. Though he entertained millions in movies and television, there was an underlying sadness to him. We look back at the life and legacy of a one-of-a-kind.

In the annals of television history, few shows have lasted such a short time but made such a huge impact. Chappelle's Show changed the way sketch comedy was written and received by the audience. Groundbreaking characters, memorable sketches, dozens of quotable lines. This show achieved more in 28 episodes than many do in several hundred.

A new Top 5 will have you searching the attic and basement. Some investments pay off; these are not those. We will look at some collectibles that we thought would grow in value, but sadly they ended up flopping and collecting dust in a corner. How many of these collectibles investment fails did you own?

Of course, there is a brand-new This Week In History and Time Capsule, looking at the first cross-country trip by automobile.

To support me and the show, become a member on Patreon.

Or you can support my work and Buy Me A Coffee!

Helpful Links from this Episode

Listen to Episode 253 here

Monday, July 27, 2026

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #131: Finding Balance, Traffic Sandwich, Somewhere New, etc.

1. My life over the last few years has been a constant push and pull. I am always caught in between working as much and as hard as I can on creative projects, trying to build a better life, and stopping, relaxing, and trying to appreciate all that I do currently have. I feel as though if I work too much, the important things in life, like family, friends, and enjoying every moment I get on earth, will slip by. On the other hand, I feel as though if I stop and relax too much, the opportunities that are flowing around me like fish in a stream will also get away. This push-pull keeps me motivated and engaged, but it also can get exhausting. I feel like a few times a week I am stopping and asking myself in which direction I am leaning too much. As of this writing, I feel like I am leaning too far into the working side. As soon as I think that, though, I can picture the projects I want to work on or start to work on, and it pulls me back the other way. There has to be a happy medium. I want to find the balance between work and being present for those who truly matter. That is probably the true secret to happiness in life.

2. I wish burning calories was as easy as my Fitbit made it seem this week. Monday Runday was another fun one. 4 total miles on a perfect afternoon weather-wise. I track my runs using both my Fitbit and Map My Run, the running app I’ve been using since 2011. Most of the time, the numbers on both don’t match. Typically, my distance is less on the Fitbit because it tracks distance based on arm movement. If I run relaxed, I don’t swing my arms as much as I’d do when walking. Then again, my calorie burn is typically higher on the Fitbit because it tracks calories based on my heart rate, while the running app does not have that connection. That being said, the difference in calories burned between the two trackers is usually not that far off. This week it was insanity. Map My Run had me at 508 calories after running 4 miles. That’s a good, pretty accurate number. The Fitbit? It had me somehow burning 3,111 calories over the same distance. Yes, 6x as many calories. Obviously this was a glitch. I hope it’s not a sign of an issue with the Fitbit. If you were wondering, yes, I have burned over 3,000 calories in a single run. It was while running a marathon, a full 26.2 miles. During that, I burned over 3,500 calories. Like I said, I wish burning calories was as easy as running 4 miles, at a relatively easy pace, and instantly getting rid of over 3,000 calories.

3. You never know how something you do will affect others. This week I got a comment on Spotify for my podcast. It was from someone who said they found my GenX nostalgia podcast in the last month or so. They have been suffering through a bout of severe depression and said that my podcast is one of the bright spots in their lives. They said they look forward to it each week. It ended with them saying if I ever wonder if my show makes a difference, they wanted me to know that it matters a lot. Being someone who has battled their share of depression throughout my life, I know how important having something that makes you feel ‘normal’ is. I always joke on the show to lean into the things that make you happy, like favorite people, foods, and of course podcasts. I am humbled and grateful that my show actually does help someone feel like they’re escaping their depression even briefly. Things like that comment only strengthen my determination to keep creating the best content I can, whether it’s podcasts, blogs, videos, or books. Ironically, that comment brightened my mood in the way they said my podcast does for them. Of course, here’s the link if you want to listen to my show: In My Footsteps Podcast

4. Heavy rain and summer combine on Cape Cod to make a traffic sandwich. One day this week, a line of heavy thunderstorms rolled through the Cape in the late afternoon. Now, I could have probably looked at the traffic on Google Maps and decided to take a different route, but come on, then I wouldn’t have as much to write about. So I took a longer route that took me past a supermarket with a good selection in their deli. That right there was all it took to tempt me. The trip to the supermarket was fine. Only when I started home on the main road, Route 28, did I realize my error. It was bumper-to-bumper traffic as the skies opened up. A trip that typically takes me roughly 30 minutes took me closer to 55, with the majority of that being after I left the supermarket. Eventually I just had to throw my hands up and accept it. Luckily, I had a good podcast on, so it kept me from going crazy. At least I didn’t have any left-hand turns to try to make; I might still be stuck in traffic as you read this.

5. This week ended up being a huge boost to my confidence. I mentioned the really nice comment about my podcast. When I shared it on social media, I was blown away by the nice comments and messages. I had total strangers telling me that my content has helped them navigate hard times. I had people remark about my outlook on life in general, which I was thrilled to hear. It continued with my boss putting me over for my work as a trainer. The irony was that the only area he felt I needed work on was my confidence. This week is a great help. It concluded with what I will talk about next, but I will just say thank you to everyone who sent nice comments. Those messages make me feel that what I am doing and how I am living are how they should be.

6. The great week continued with a really fun author event at the Dennis Public Library. As per usual, I got there about 45 minutes early. I get there early to make sure that nothing goes wrong in my setup. It stems from an event many years ago at the Cotuit Library. For that event, I got stuck in summer traffic. This had me arriving at the event about 5 minutes before showtime. I walked in, and the room was full, which was great, but I felt it made me look unprofessional for showing up so close to the start. On top of that, once I got set up, there were issues with the projector and the show began late. For every event since that one, I make it a point to get there super early. The funny part is that I haven’t had any issues, so I just end up standing around waiting for people to show up.

7. As for the event itself, it was a great gathering. I enjoy speaking about Cape Cod history in connection to me being a 12th-generation Cape Codder. The sounds of reacting to each of the 12 different stories I shared never gets old. I could have done without one person who interjected themselves into the presentation a little too much, but it wasn’t malicious, so I let it slide. I did have to interrupt a bit to move the presentation along, though. It’s not lost on me that I was, and to a degree still am, an introvert. Being a public speaker and doing it confidently and comfortably is something I have worked at for years. I have another event coming up in the fall, but this was the last for the summer since I need to keep the rest of summer free for things to do with my upcoming film. Thank you to everyone who came out to my Dennis event; it was a lot of fun.

8. The biggest joy of that event was the family element. Not only did my mom and sister Ashley come out, but my cousins Dale and Richard did as well. This was very special. My mom and Dale hadn’t seen each other in close to 40 years since my mom and biological father got divorced in the early 1980s. Dale specifically asked if my mom would go to the event and to tell her because she would want to go. I am sure she and Richard would have come anyway, but my mom’s appearance made it a must-see event. This is where the final piece of my week of building confidence came to a conclusion. Doing a good show in front of family is one thing, but having Dale tell my mom that a big reason she came to the show was to be able to tell my mom face to face how proud she was to be related to me was almost overwhelming. Dale and Richard are my 2nd cousins on my father’s side. I don’t have relationships with many on that side of the family for various reasons. Having family from my paternal side be so supportive and kind and loving is even more important to me at this point in life when I don’t have, or want, a relationship with my biological father. My hope is that it is not a one-time thing and that my mom and Dale, and more of us in the family, can get together for gatherings going forward. If my author event is the conduit to that, then it truly was one of my best.

9. Going to a place I’ve never been to on Cape Cod is increasingly difficult. Sure, technically I could go to some random side road, but that’s not what I mean. This week I bit the bullet and went to check out the Cape Cod Rail Trail extension into Hyannis. This is the furthest western point of the famed bike path, which extends on the eastern end through Wellfleet. What makes it interesting is that it is part of a larger extension. There is probably 1.5 miles or so of new trail in Yarmouth that winds through woods behind Bayberry Hills golf course. It ends at Willow Street, which is a pretty busy road. Then directly across is another roughly 1.5-mile stretch of newly paved trail ending near Independence Park, the back way to the busy business section of Hyannis. The problem is that in the middle there will eventually be a bridge connecting the two sections, but that likely is quite a way away from being put in. I had to drive around to the other end of the trail on Mary Dunn Road. They are beginning to build a parking lot there, but of course it’s also likely to take ages to be finished. Luckily, there is literally one spot to park next to where the parking lot is being built. Since that section of road is really quiet, I knew it would be open, and it was. Having never left my car in that area, I just hoped that it would be there when I got back.

10. The run itself on the trail was sunny, warm, and very hilly. My friend Mike, of Monday Runday fame, told me it was hilly, but I needed to experience it. The trail hugged the highway on one side and the airport on the other, so there was a hum of activity. It was an interesting contrast with the fact that I saw absolutely no other people on the trail. Obviously nobody in their right mind is going to cross the busy Willow Street from the other side, and since I took the only parking spot at the other end, I shouldn’t have been surprised. One thing I found was that this Hyannis stretch of trail has little, if any, shade. Running up hills with no shade made me feel like I had taken a shower in my clothes. In total, it was 3 miles of new trail I ran. This meant that as of that run, I had been on every bit of every bike path on Cape Cod. Of course, 3 miles wasn’t enough for me. I extended my run by going down Mary Dunn Road, past where I parked, and to the backside of the airport. Despite waiting for a few minutes, no planes landed or took off. On the way back, I took a detour to Mary Dunn Pond, a spot I had never seen before. It was serene and filled with wildflowers. All in all, it was a perfect afternoon of new sights and exercise. Yes, I made sure to create a video to capture it and to share.

11. Where I live, there is a little puffball of a bunny that lives inside a bush that envelops the front light. I see it almost daily, especially near dusk when it sits near the bush eating clover and grass. Cute, right? Yes, but also there is a dark side. You see that little puffball is rightfully skittish around anything it perceives as a predator. That includes people. I have never tried to approach it or domesticate it. What the bunny does, though, is take off running when I get near. Most of the time this occurs while I am coming up the walkway to the front door. The bunny will be somewhere in the front bushes. I can’t see it, but it sees me. Rather than hiding and hoping I pass by, it invariably comes charging out of the bushes to get away. You can imagine my surprise when it’s a quiet evening, and suddenly this puffball comes dashing out and scaring the hell out of me. I have taken to jingling my car keys when I come up the walkway to flush it out before it can give me a heart attack. I can see it now: I drop dead in the yard, and I am found with that little bunny sitting on my chest eating grass like a hitman.

12. The past month, maybe 6 weeks, have seen me running more consistently than I have since I had a bad sprain of the left ankle last summer playing basketball. There was a time, especially over the winter, when I felt like running at all was going to be a thing of the past. About 2 months ago, a few things came up that started making positive changes. First was my boss, Dr. Mike, testing out that left ankle and recommending a strap to wear right below my left knee. This would help keep my lower leg stable. After that, one day I was sitting and thinking about the things I did when I was at my peak as a runner. What did I do then that I could bring back now? I started taking more than the recommended dosage of glucosamine, a supplement for joint health. It took a few weeks of the strap and glucosamine, but I started slowly adding running back into my workouts. In the past 2 weeks, I have consistently run 5 miles in under an hour. It’s nothing like what I did at my peak, but it’s slowly getting better each time. I liken this recent return to running to getting back together with an ex. Things feel familiar, but now you have learned the things you can and can’t do. Okay, maybe it’s not quite like that, but I am happy with how things have gone in the last several weeks.

13. While out for a run this week, I saw a guy ‘walking’ his two dogs. One was on a leash, and another was not. Already this guy can’t figure out if he wants to obey leash laws or be a selfish, entitled dog owner. The dog that was off-leash was barely the size of a football, and the one that was leashed was only slightly larger. My opinion is that if you have a dog you can fit in a shoebox or a purse, or could be plucked from the yard by a large bird, then you don’t have a real dog. A real dog should be able to protect you from intruders, not be stuffed into a microwave with room to spare.

Thursday, July 23, 2026

Alternate Life Timelines. #2 - Moving To New Orleans

This is the second in a series of articles looking back at moments from my nearly 50 years of life. These are moments where I zigged. But what if I had zagged instead?

In some ways, life becomes like one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. The decisions you make have ripple effects throughout your life. If you do this, then that happens. What about the decisions or events that could have happened but didn’t? That is going to be the purpose of this series of articles.

The first article saw me reflecting on my decision to not go away to college and, in fact, take a semester off before continuing my education at all. It had a huge effect on my future.

In this second article, I am looking at another moment that had a major rippling effect on my future. This one, when changed, could have resulted in this never being written at all.

These articles won’t be so much about rehashing regrets. They are more of an interesting look at how many times in life you are faced with the potential of a big change. What do you do when the opportunity arises? Let’s try a different path.

In the spring of 2004, I was a mess. The three years since I had returned to Cape Cod after living in Las Vegas had not been kind. Yes, I had graduated from college with a 2-year degree in communications. However, the stink of failure, in my mind at least, was hard to wash away.

I was meant to succeed in Vegas. I was supposed to have gone there, finished college, gotten a good job, and moved Cape Cod into the ‘completed’ chapter section of my life. That did not happen. It will also be a future ‘alternate timeline’ article, so you will get the full story then.

All you need to know for this piece is that I did not succeed in Las Vegas. I came home with my tail between my legs. I went back to cooking, then left for landscaping, then returned to cooking. My most taxing job was battling the overwhelming depression that hovered over me for years.

I was working as a cook in the spring of 2004 when one of the most important moments of my life occurred. I saw her. Through the rectangular-shaped window of the swinging door to the kitchen, I saw the most heart-stoppingly beautiful girl. My world was never the same.

The view from 2004

I officially met her a few days later. She almost immediately cured my depression with the confidence of someone scaring off a bear with a stick. I was in love.

We spent much of the summer together. I felt this unusual feeling of wanting to be my authentic self around her. I always had a tendency to keep at least a little bit of my guard up around people, but she was different. It was like every rom-com rolled into one and gently placed into my hand like a butterfly.

Now, of course, we all know that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is. My summer romance in 2004 was no different. It had nothing to do with her. It had to do with her situation. She didn’t live full-time on Cape Cod. She was a live-in nanny for a family, and they spent winters in New Orleans, Louisiana.

It was a hurdle for sure. At first, it was not insurmountable, though. She would leave with the family back to New Orleans in October, but then return to Cape Cod the following April. The confidence I had in our relationship told me to just relax; good things would be waiting on the other side of a harsh New England winter. Silly me.

In one of those ‘of course’ moments, the husband and wife she nannied for split up shortly after they returned to New Orleans. This meant there was no return trip to Cape Cod on the horizon, because why would there be? Sure, maybe she would have come up for a week to vacation, but our relationship had hit a crossroads.

I had never felt love like I did for her, before or since. I had given her a placeholder ring during one of her last weeks on Cape Cod. Along with it was a promise of a real ring and a potential real engagement when she returned the next year. I don’t think she believed me, but I was deadly serious. She had changed my life so deeply that my focus turned to building on that life with her.

There was a big problem in the way. New Orleans is more than 1,500 miles from Cape Cod. It is not exactly somewhere that you can drive to easily. What was I to do?

In reality, I kept in regular contact with her, typically daily. I slowly felt the distance winning. To try to combat this, I booked a flight to New Orleans in January 2005 and stayed for four days. She and I got to spend a lot of time together seeing the sights, meeting her family, and enjoying each other’s company. It all felt right again.

A collage of memories from that New Orleans trip

I had to act. During a drive around New Orleans, I came clean. I was seriously thinking of moving down there permanently. To my surprise, she seemed shocked by this news. I told her how I felt and how I wanted to at least give our relationship the full chance it deserved.

She didn’t outright reject my plan, but it wasn’t the overwhelming success I'd hoped for. The rest of my time visiting went well. I flew back home fully intending to follow through on my idea. I even began voicing it to my family and friends as if I were trying to make sure I was held accountable.

Weeks passed, and little was said of the potential move. I don’t know if she was hoping I’d forget about it or wanted to see if I was serious or just all talk. When her birthday drew near in April, I again broached the subject. She was not into it.

Unbeknownst to her, I had begun scoping out apartments and jobs in New Orleans in anticipation of relocation. I had begun contacting an art gallery that was looking for a host.

My family saw how serious I was and supported me. Everyone supported me, except for the person I was going to move for. She backed away. She felt things were going too far too fast. Looking back now, her being 23 and staring at a man she had known for a year, planning to move 1,500 miles to be with her, must have been a lot. It was a lot. I know that now, but in 2005, I was as crazy in love as Beyoncé and wanted to finish my story.

What happened in reality?

In reality, I dropped my plans. She and I took a break. I don’t know if you’d consider it the official breakup, but we went from being frequently in touch to being more intermittent. I was hurt and confused. I am sure she was as well. The best of intentions cannot overcome some things.

A few months passed. Then a major event threw us back together. On August 29, 2005, Hurricane Katrina decimated New Orleans and much of the Gulf Coast of the United States. All of my hurt over not getting the storybook romance I wanted went out the window. It was replaced with fear over her safety.

I reached out and got the update. She and her family were safe. They ended up being evacuated and relocated to Houston, Texas. To this day, she still lives in a suburb of Houston.

The relief over her safety morphed into wonder about my own timeline. As is the title of these articles, I was already thinking of what could have been had I gone through with my move to New Orleans.

So let’s take a look at it over 20 years later.

My original plan was to move to New Orleans, likely sometime in early June 2005. In this timeline, I follow through with getting the job working in an art gallery and also get one of the apartments I had been looking at. I would have driven my Saturn sedan the 1,500 miles from Cape Cod to New Orleans. Fine, so I am there.

The Saturn model I planned to drive to New Orleans

Perhaps the fact that I actually went through with it and uprooted my life in the name of being with the girl I loved would have changed her mind. The odds of that are probably 50-50. New Orleans is a big area, with the metropolitan area being home to nearly one million people. I believe that the apartments I was looking at were between 10 and 15 minutes from where she lived with her family. I’d be there, close, but not right on top of her.

In all honesty, I’d have been trying to court her from the time I got there. After all, she was why I moved. When we were together, we had a chemistry that was undeniable. That was when we were physically together. Apart it was different, like she needed to see me to remember she had feelings. How much would I encroach on her life to be seen?

Not to have rose colored glasses, but I do think we’d end up together, at least to start. Dating is one thing. Being in a serious committed relationship in close proximity is another. How much would she bend to fit me into her life? The bigger question is how much I would bend?

She was, and to this day is, extremely religious. In fact, she and her husband (spoiler) run a church together. Would I have moved things around in my life to accommodate a hefty dose of religion? I honestly don’t think so. Having date nights always consist of church would start to wear on me. I’m not anti-religion, but I am wary of those who make their religion the overwhelming defining characteristic of their lives. It’s the same way I feel about people who do that with politics.

So, we’d probably have had some sort of relationship. To what degree, I don’t know. Looking back on it, I feel like it would have been an uphill climb to get back what we had when she was on Cape Cod. I would have tried, though.

We then get to the bigger issue: Hurricane Katrina. I highly doubt that I would have given up on us by late August. I would have probably stuck it out through 2005 in the hopes of my birthday in November, or Christmas, tightening our bond. This means I’d have been living in New Orleans when the storm hit.

That statement in and of itself is chilling. Knowing how serious that hurricane was, the fact that I would have likely been in its path is crazy. The first question is, what happens to me? I’m grateful I don’t have to find out, but 1,833 people died in that storm.

Even if I were in a relationship, that wouldn’t have meant she and her family were obligated to take me with them. I’d like to think the offer would be made, but who knows? Would I have been fine in my apartment? Would I have been relocated to the Superdome? Would I have ended up in Houston? Or somewhere else?

My honest opinion? I’d have hoped to go with her family to Houston. If that wasn’t an option, I’d have gone back to Cape Cod if possible. To pick a path, I’d say I'd go to Houston, too. Here’s where it gets interesting as far as the future goes.

If I went to Houston, that would mean I was indebted to her family. I’d have been more likely to bend my life around theirs. I could see myself, out of respect, becoming way more involved in religion than I normally would. I’d have sacrificed my interests to stay close to her.

I can’t say if we end up together and I am then the husband she runs a church with. Maybe so. Or do I become resentful and end up leaving her and moving back to Cape Cod, or somewhere else? I was never great at openly discussing serious issues, so I’d have probably simmered until I boiled over.

At some point, we would have ended our relationship, and I would have probably come back to Cape Cod. In reality, once the plans to New Orleans blew up, I still had the itch to move and ended up doing so.

I moved to Florida in September 2005. It was very brief, lasting all of two months before I went home. Ironically, it was because Hurricane Wilma tore through and washed out all of my job interviews. Once out of money and patience, I went back to Cape Cod.

The reality, when I moved to Florida in 2005.

In reality and in an alternate timeline, I don’t think my relationship dream works out. It’s sad but an honest reality check. I end up back on Cape Cod before my 30th birthday, and we go from there.

One thing that I haven’t mentioned yet that I need to mull over. My writing career, beyond this blog or anything amateur, got its start due to my relationship ending. I processed my pain through writing. It led to my blogs, which led to my first book, and eventually ten published books. Everything I have done creatively since the end of 2005 is because of her and our relationship ending.

What if that relationship came to a natural end instead of feeling like the distance was the killer? Do I have the same sadness to overcome? Do I write a fictionalized version of our relationship that becomes my first ebook? I don’t know.

Maybe the extra time we have together opens my eyes to some other career path I end up enjoying. Maybe I could build a successful career running art galleries? That’s the intriguing thing about these articles: it’s all just informed speculation based on what I know of the situation at the time and of myself.

I do believe that everything worked out as it should. It’s funny how each of the first two alternate timelines ends with me believing that I ended up on the right path. Maybe it’s just my way of coping with unknowns and unfinished business.

In reality, once my girl moved with her family to Houston after Hurricane Katrina, we slowly lost touch until one day it was the last time. She was beginning to move on and mentioned meeting someone. That was a bridge too far. I didn’t want to be a pen pal hearing about her new flame.

My biggest regret of this entire story is letting go. Once we lost touch, and I lost her phone number, that was it. She was never on social media, and thus I had no way of reconnecting. If we had stayed in touch, maybe a day would come when she wanted to give it another try? I’ll never know.

As I said earlier, today she is married, has no kids, and runs a church with her husband. How do I know this if we lost touch? I am a master internet detective. I found a shared social media profile she has with her husband. There, I got my closure. I had no need to reach out. I saw her. I saw her life. I saw her happy. That was enough.

Do I wish we’d ended up together back in 2005? Yes. Nobody has made me feel what she made me feel. But she did make me feel it. That means there’s always a chance I could feel that way again about someone else. Or, if someday her profile isn’t shared anymore, all bets are off.

She and I were good together. She and I are good apart. She changed my life more than she will ever know. She continues to do so as all of my creative endeavors trace their origin back to her. So in a weird roundabout way, she is still in my life.

“There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
My pictures of you.”

Pictures of You – The Cure

See you in the next alternate timeline

Wednesday, July 22, 2026

In My Footsteps Podcast Episode 253: HBO's BrainGames, Sublime's Breakthrough, Beloved TV Programming Blocks(7-22-2026)

Donate to the GoFundMe for my feature-length film, The Cabin!

A brief show that left a lasting impact. A band whose rise was cut short. Some of the most popular television programming blocks ever.

Episode 253 shows the pop culture randomizer on full display.

It begins with a look back at a show that only lasted a short time but left a big imprint on a lot of GenXers. BrainGames was a revelation in children's education. The HBO show lasted a whopping 6 episodes, yet somehow is still fondly remembered to this day by many who saw it. We look at why this little show had a big impact.

30 years ago this week, an indie band with a cult following released their breakout hit song. Unfortunately, it came shortly after their lead singer had lost his life. The band was Sublime, and the singer was Bradley Nowell. On this anniversary, we do a deep dive into the rise, fall, and full-circle rebirth of one of the most popular bands of the mid-1990s.

TGIF? Must-See TV? This week's Top 5 looks at those and some of the other beloved television programming blocks of all-time. How many of these were part of your weekly scheduling plans?

Finally there is a brand-new This Week In History and Time Capsule, looking at the very first Billboard Magazine music chart(it's not what you might think).