Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #71: Ultra-Stupid, Exploding Food, Old Man Woes, etc.

 

1. I guess I’ve crossed over officially into being old. While enjoying a perfect afternoon at the beach, I couldn’t help but be annoyed at these 4 high school kids. Maybe it was how loud and obnoxious they were. Maybe it was the fact that they referred to the geese and seagulls as the N-word repeatedly. Or it could be that these idiots are so dumb they thought penguins were at the beach, on Cape Cod. Wow, I’m sure their parents are so proud of them. I wonder what amazing contributions to the world these 4 foul-mouthed geniuses will make.

2. Something that likely only interests me. I love the Friday the 13^th franchise. It’s probably my favorite horror series. The random thing that popped into my head recently has to do with the timeline of the first 4 films. So the original happens, and Part 2 takes place 5 years later. Simple enough. The weird thing is that parts 2, 3, and 4, all take place within the same week. No big deal. That is until you see Jason Voorhees unmasked in each one. In Part 2 he’s a mountain man with long hair and a beard. The next day in Part 3, he’s bald and clean-shaven with a different freaky face. Then in Part 4, which happens right after Part 3 Jason looks like a wrinkly alien. So what did he shave and then take a super long bath to get wrinkly? Of course, I have visual aids.

3. I was playing basketball at a local park this week. A few hundred feet away a family of probably 6-8 people was having a cookout at one of the grills. All of a sudden the youngest son, who was probably 2 came wandering over to the court. His 2 brothers, who looked to be maybe 7 and 9, followed. The littlest one, I think his name was Nico, wanted to shoot hoops with me. None of the boys spoke English but it was so cute. Nico only had a diaper on and he was bouncing the ball and trying to shoot. It was a lot of fun. It only got funnier when the older boys tried getting Nico back to eat with the family. He came back twice, waddling the way toddlers do. Luckily, his sister who was probably 13 came and got him, and she spoke English. I told her he was no bother. Eventually, I took my ball and left, knowing that he’d keep running back over if I stayed.

4. Something that is not so fun is exploding food in the microwave. That’s an obvious statement. I was heating up a bowl of clam chowder covered in plastic wrap. With about 30 seconds left in its cooking time, there was a bang. I could see by the light inside that the bowl was tipped on its side. This was not good. When I opened the microwave, it looked like I had taken a can of soup and just heaved it all over. I was able to save about half of it. The next few minutes consisted of me yelling and swearing while scooping some chowder up with a paper plate and pouring it back into the bowl. The rest was soaked up with paper towels and thrown out. At least the microwave is clean inside, stupid exploding chowder.

5. I always wear my Fitbit, except when going to bed. That being said, sometimes I forget I’m wearing it. This all came to a head after a workout. I put on a long-sleeved windbreaker and headed off to the store. I was still a bit sweaty after the workout, not to pat myself on the back. Anyway, instead of wiping my eyes with my right arm I used my left. The long sleeves made my Fitbit almost invisible. So the end result was me basically punching myself in the left eye with my Fitbit as I walked into the store. That’s a good way to make an entrance. Everything was alright, though I did debate starting to wear eye black under that eye like Left Eye used to in TLC.

6. Going back to my basketball escapades. Both of my hips were tight and sore after playing, as they tend to be. Hey, I’m not 16 and on the school team anymore. Luckily, my boss is a chiropractor, among other skills. I needed an adjustment badly, even before my work day started. Then I had to demonstrate a hex bar/trap bar deadlift for a client. For those who don’t know, a hex bar is a piece of equipment with 6 sides and it allows you to stand inside of it to make a deadlift easier and safer for your back and shoulders. It was meant to be a bodyweight lift; the client was 180 lbs, so I loaded the bar. Not wanting him to feel awkward, I demonstrated the lift first. As soon as I straightened up both hips and my low back locked. I couldn’t sell pain because the client would never attempt the lift. I had to wait until the end of the day with my body trashed for my boss to adjust both of hips. They felt better almost instantly but I have a few muscles I need to strengthen if I want to keep playing basketball.

7. On the lighter side of my basketball shenanigans. To me now in my late 40s, playing basketball reminds me of when I used to frequent Taco Bell in my early 20s. I should just leave it at that random comparison, but I’ll explain. I know when I play basketball now that I am going to have some degree of soreness and/or pain for the next day or so, but it won’t stop me from playing again. When I used to go to Taco Bell, I’d eat a lot, and love it, but let’s just say my stomach was very angry for the next few days. As soon as it felt better, though, I’d go back to Taco Bell like I thought maybe this time would be different. So yeah, basketball is like Taco Bell, fits perfectly for my random life.

Yeah, same thing...

8. I mentioned that I needed to strengthen a few muscles to help me in running and basketball. One is the adductor(groin) muscle. There is a machine at the gym where you have pads against your inner thighs, and you then bring them together using whatever resistance you want to develop the adductors. I was told that since you don’t run, or play basketball seated with your knees bent, why would you train the adductors that way? My bright idea at home was to take a thicker loop band, tie it off, and wrap it around my leg up closer to my hip. Then I would step wide and bring my feet together, thereby strengthening the adductor muscle. Well, I got way too into it and began stepping wide, coming together, and taking another step out. I must have forgotten that a band can only stretch so far because after a few rounds of this movement, the band gave way. It snapped and gave me a good slap across the thigh. Luckily, it was not a little further up because I don’t want to know how a thick rubber band slapping me in the nuts feels.

9. It’s amazing to look back almost 5 years when I had a kernel of an idea about creating a podcast. It honestly began as a way to keep my mind occupied while I adapted to a new life alcohol-free. All of the research, recording, and marketing helped to keep my mind of drinking, which had been a major issue in my life for the preceding few years. Now here I am about to record my 200^th episode, and I also just passed 25,000 downloads. It’s amazing, and I am so grateful to everyone who chooses to listen to my Gen-X nostalgia show. There’s so much still to come but I am very grateful for all of the support.

10. This always seems to be the case but there are certain days if I’m out for a walk that I don’t want to be bothered. I’m not rude, I’ll smile and nod, but no stopping to chat. These are typically the days that every person under the sun with a dog is near me. The dogs always look at me like they’re shocked I don’t want to pet them. Then there is the opposite. These are the days when I’m all in my feels and want to pet every dog within a mile radius. Of course, these days are when any dog I see reacts to me like I'm the dog catcher. Do they still have dog catchers? I had one such day of each this week.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #45: Early Sunsets, Metal Pile Mayhem, Food Coma, etc.

 

1. It always makes me feel like I’m up to no good when sitting in my car in a beach parking lot after dark. Maybe because plenty of times I used to be up to no good. At this time of year though with the sunset at about 4:20(nice), it is possible to sit in a dark secluded beach parking lot at 5pm. That’s still a good chunk of daylight when in the summer. Yet there I am sitting in the parking lot wondering if I should move on before the cops come and yell. Part of me still feels like I’m 18.

2. There was a momentarily fun flashback this week in an unexpected way. I needed to finally throw away an old mini-fridge that had been sitting in a storage area where I live for years. Ripping the door off of it to be allowed to throw it away at the local dump was fun. When I got there to toss it I had flashbacks as I had to put the fridge body in one area. The door and any insides needed to be thrown into the neighboring metal pile. Way back in the 90s several friends and I used to frequent the metal pile. We lived nearby plus it was in a different area of the dump. We used to sneak through the woods and then perform acts of mayhem like whipping rocks into the televisions. You know, teenage boy crap. No, I didn’t try to smash any TVs this time but the memories did flood back.

Memories of mayhem.

3. It’s a bit disheartening when I share thoughts and problems in my life. Rather than friends and family being understanding and supportive it ends up being a pissing match. It seems to always be one of those ‘Oh you think that’s bad, well here’s what’s going on in my life.’ I typically end up as everyone’s sounding board but when it’s time for me to vent there’s no one to listen. I hate being so closed off as I feel now but it’s like why reach out when it seems like nobody is willing to give, only take. I am learning not to expect what you give in return.

4. A random question I needed to find an answer to was: Where do seagulls sleep? The reason why? I was at the beach shooting the sunset and the parking lot was packed with dozens of gulls hanging out. Even right after the sun went down they were like little white dots all over the pavement. Then seemingly out of nowhere, they all were gone. I figured after dark they all go to a more secluded spot and sleep while a few stand guard. That’s kind of true as I found in my research. I just found it interesting that the beach went from seagull party to empty in a snap. As my Uncle Steve would say, they all did their ‘Irish goodbyes.’ That just means leaving quietly before anyone notices.

5. It’s amazing and a bit overwhelming to stop and think about how different your life would be had you made different choices. For me, I can think off the top of my head of at least a dozen pivotal moments in my life where if I’d gone left instead of right my life would look so different. These choices could be certain people, jobs, or things that were said. Also, not all of these choices necessarily would have made my life better. Some of them I think would have led to other multiple choice questions. It’s kind of like standing on a road and the road splinters off, and again, and again, until it’s like a huge spiderweb.

So many different roads.

6. A change of scenery can really lead to a change of mind. I always find that going to the college library to write and work on content is a far more rewarding experience than doing it at home. I don’t know if it’s because I associate the library with my time there as a student so I know when I’m in the library it’s work time? Maybe I feel I need to step my game up when surrounded by people there trying to better themselves? Whatever it is I do enjoy it and need to make it more of a part of my habit like it was years ago.

7. For 15 years since my Nana died I had owned several of her belongings because I wanted things to remember her. I have her old crossword puzzle pen, her old gigantic television, and the stand it came on that my Uncle Eric had to saw parts of the sides off of so the TV would fit. I also had her microwave. Finally this week I decided to upgrade and get a new microwave. There were loads of Black Friday deals so I got a good price. I went to Best Buy in the Cape Cod Mall. The funny thing was that the microwave was too small to need help bringing it out to my car but too big for it to be a simple task. I ended up heaving it up onto my shoulder and walking out like that, keeping one hand free to show the employee at the front my receipt so they didn’t think I was just stealing microwaves.

8. I don’t know what is more crowded. Is it the local stores on Black Friday? Or is it the local gym on Black Friday filled with people feeling guilty about how much food they ate on Thanksgiving? I’d think you’d be safer being at the crowded gym where you can only get a dumbbell dropped on your foot. In a crowded store, you might get stabbed by some crazy parent who wants the last doll on a shelf. I’ll stick to online shopping thank you.

9. Fun fact, it takes roughly 20-30 minutes of eating before your brain recognizes it’s full. Another fun fact, on Thanksgiving I did not heed this warning from my mother. When I say it was the most painful type of being full I’d ever experienced I am not lying. It felt like I had a cinder block lodged in my ribs and stomach. It was almost comical how terrible I felt, more so after I started feeling better a few hours later. I had to stand outside on my mom’s deck for a while trying to stay upright until my body could start digesting. Believe me, all of the food my mom made was amazing. That’s the main reason I was stuffed like a beached whale.

How I felt on Thanksgiving.

10. The places might change, and the guest list might change, but the feelings of thankfulness and gratefulness don’t change for me. The older I get I appreciate even more having those times to get together with family and friends. Thanksgiving is of course a day of food as you could tell from the entry above. However, I’d take just hanging with family and friends with no food over eating until I can’t move by myself. Of course, a mix of both is always good as well.

Initial Impressions Blog 2.0: #22 - Lock the Door, Hooters, Parking Lot Geniuses, etc.

 

1. One of my favorite running routes takes me through a quiet and quaint neighborhood. It eventually abuts a golf course at a cul-de-sac. I like this spot because within 50 feet of the road are a pair of porta potties behind a fence on the golf course. So I use one pretty much every time I go by there. In years of doing this I could honestly count on one hand with fingers left the number of people I’ve seen using one of those porta potties. I walked around the fence and one was locked, the other was not. Of course, the one not locked had someone inside as I flung the door open. Luckily his back was to me. We both kind of laughed and he was cool since he admitted he didn’t lock the door. It was like on The Office when Jim walked in on the preschool teacher in the bathroom because he didn’t lock the door.

2. It’s amazing to see how different weather forecasts can be between 2 websites. Same place, different app, and the temperatures are routinely 6-7 degrees off for the highs. In the winter that big of a discrepancy can mean the difference between snow and rain. It’s the same with precipitation. How much, when it starts, when it ends, or even if there will be any at all. I end up picking whichever seems best and then cheering or booing that site depending on the accuracy.

3. The first heat wave of the season hit the northeast this week. The mid-80s on Cape Cod. Granted on the Cape it’s a good 10 degrees cooler than in Boston but it does take the energy right out of you. All I wanted to do was sit in front of several fans. Oh, I have A/C but I stubbornly try to hold off as long as I can to put it in and then try to take it out as quickly as I can.

4. I am at the point in my life where if I don’t feel a connection with a person I move on. I’m not saying within a few minutes, but after a certain amount of time, you know if you click, or if you’re wasting your and their time. I find it’s better to move on early than drag it out and lead someone on in the hopes of forcing a connection over time. But that’s just me.

5. Note To Self: When microwaving something if the cooking time you are choosing is 3 identical numbers, IE: 5:55, make sure that you press the buttons 3 times because you could end up pressing it 4 times and leaving something in the microwave for far too long. Yes, note to self, that never could have actually happened to me.

Beware

6. One thing I had forgotten that has come back in full force as I’ve started running more is how many vehicles don’t care about runners or cyclists on the road. Some give room as they pass, others don’t move at all. I have had times that if I reached my arm out a passing vehicle would have torn it off. We’re not saying swerve into the other lane into oncoming traffic, but at least make an effort to not kill us as you pass, thanks.

7. I was in a supermarket in the town where I live when a couple walked in. The woman was in a full-on Hooters outfit. Now this is all well and good, I mean I didn’t mind taking a peek. But here’s the thing, the nearest Hooters to where I live is 75 miles away. Maybe they decided to come visit Cape Cod right after she got out of work and she didn’t bother to change out of her work clothes? Halloween is not for 4 months but maybe they were going to a random costume party in late June? Or maybe she just craves attention and decided to wear that outfit inside a supermarket filled with elderly people and children. Your guess is as good as mine.

8. The vast, vast majority of people know how to navigate around a parking lot. It’s not hard, you just need common sense. That being said there are the select few who put their blinker on at the end of a row of spaces like it’s the end of a street. Even worse are those who just drive straight through all of the spaces like they’re not there. I’m sure it’s like a bell curve, tons of normal people in the middle, and those 2 sets of idiots on either end.

9. While running at the local high school track I spotted 2 women walking over. 1 walked onto the track and just stood there, the other was nowhere to be found. It was a little suspicious. I finished running and retreated to a sort of pavilion at the top of the bleachers. The 1 woman was still standing in the same place. Now it was getting weird. That was until I saw the other woman. She had a pair of rollerblades and couldn’t get them on. The other woman helped and then proceeded to lead her around the track helping her skate. I didn’t ask but it seemed like the woman with the roller blades was special needs and the other woman was a friend or relative. It made the whole situation very sweet and I stood and watched for a few minutes before heading home.

10. Speaking of that run I did. It’s that point in the summer when I have to make a choice between sunscreen and bug spray for runs. Well, except for this time. I sprayed sunscreen on my head and bug spray on my arms and legs. Seems pretty straightforward right? That was until I was sweating a lot running and like a fool used my arm to wipe my face and eyes. Yup, bug spray in the eyes. Luckily at that point, nobody else was on the track so when I yelled I only scared the birds. 

Choose wisely

11. It was incredible to get to watch the Boston Celtics win their 18^th championship, the most in NBA history. I’ve been lucky enough to see so many titles in various sports living in New England. I won’t take it for granted though. I lived through the Patriots being a joke. I lived through part of the Red Sox Curse of the Bambino. I also lived through the ML Carr years of the Celtics, although he did come and speak at my middle school so it wasn’t all bad. Congratulations to Jaylen Brown, Jason Tatum, Al Horford, Kristaps Porzingis, and Jrue Holliday who was the catalyst for this year’s team. Go Green!