1. At my work we have something called compression therapy. You get wrapped up in these pads that squeeze your body stimulating the lymphatic system to get moving. It is great for your overall health. When you do this therapy it is 30 minutes you relax and then when the session is done someone comes in and unwraps you. If somebody has done the compression therapy enough they might feel comfortable enough to start unwrapping themselves to help. A person was doing that before I got in the room to assist them. It all seemed fine until I went back in to clean off the pads. It was then that I noticed the splatters of blood on different parts of the various pads. It looked like a crime scene. The worst part was there was another person set to use the compression therapy and as I wrapped them in the pads I kept noticing other drops of blood I had missed. I had no poker face and was horrified.
2. The only thing that could possibly rival the bloody good story above at work this week was the following. My boss got a great deal on a used mannequin. He intends to use it to display clothing featuring the business logo on it. Makes sense. The funny part was how it arrived. It was in pieces. So bringing in the top half and the arms was fine. However, nothing could prepare me for the sight of my boss walking in with this naked ass mannequin bottom up near his face. I couldn’t have written it any better. We ended up stashing it for a while in the compression therapy room but kept the door closed since it looked like we had killed and dismembered someone in there.
3. Only I could vacuum a room for several minutes not realizing the hose wasn’t attached. Granted I wondered why the vacuum had such terrible suction but it wasn’t until I turned around and saw the disconnected hose on the floor that it all made sense. I have said it a million times, I was born blond so don’t be shocked at stories like these.
4. I spent an evening tearing up an old carpet and then slicing it into strips with a box cutter. I was so focused on getting it done right after work that I didn’t bother to put any sort of mask on to protect me from dust. Eventually, I brought several contractor bags of rolled-up carpet slices outside. My body was exhausted from the workout. Then later on while relaxing not wearing a mask came back to haunt me as I got a major bloody nose from inhaling all of that dust and whatever else was underneath the carpet. Oh well, at least it got done.
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| Yeah, it was a little like this. |
5. In the coming weeks I am shooting the scenes for my first acting gig. It’s funny because I made tons of skits as a kid with my camcorder and craft scripts for my podcast weekly yet trying to get lines I didn’t write memorized is really tough. I printed out all of my scenes and have had trouble getting the lines down. One solution I had was to print them out again, only in a much bigger font. It’s like speaking to a dog, and then saying the words again slower like that will suddenly make the dog understand you.
6. I could be on the strictest of diets but will never not be a sucker for a new flavor of Doritos. I have loved them since I was a kid and any time they release a new flavor I will try it. The latest proof of that is the Late Night Sizzlin’ Cheeseburger flavor. I definitely enjoy them. Every now and then some Doritos are okay, but when I see there are more flavors in this Late Night series that’s when the ominous music starts to play and I feel my pants begin to get tighter. Oh well, six-pack abs are overrated anyway, right?
Dangerously good.
7. Did my first real interior paint job this week. A subtle gray paint on half of my apartment. Luckily I wore clothes I was cool with throwing out because to no one’s surprise, I got paint all over me. Also, put in new flooring in the form of carpeted tiles. That was fun as well but hell on the knees. The room does look a lot better but my body needed a day to recover for sure.
8. I was under the impression on Instagram that once things you post on your story are gone (after 24 hours) nobody can see them except you in your own archives. This week I had some random person like a story of mine from 5 ½ years ago. Not sure how they got to see it. It was very creepy and suspicious that I immediately blocked them just to stop any weirdness before it really gets going. I mean you need to be a special kind of weirdo to deep dive someone’s IG story back more than 5 years.
9. This winter has been one long hibernation. It’s like I’ve done a lot of work, content-wise, but I feel like I’ve been holed up. I don’t know if it’s the cold. I don’t know if it’s being busy with work. I don’t know if I need a change physically to gain energy. Maybe it’s my diet being bad and my body doesn’t produce the energy from bad foods. One or all of these things need to change soon. This blah chapter feels like it’s run its course.
10. Being called ‘sir’ by someone much younger is still a very weird thing. I don’t feel that old (most days) so I definitely don’t feel like being called ‘sir’ is warranted. But I’m also not going to be some mid-life crisis guy who corrects someone young who calls me sir. It actually shows respect for your *ugh* elders. I mean I call people much older than me sir. Wait, so I guess I’m much older than these people? Man, it’s time for a nap followed by dinner at 4pm.
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| I'm not this guy...yet. |
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