Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog - #27: Flamingo, Porta Potty Lawn Ornaments, Nostalgic Trespassing, etc

1. For the 2^nd time in a month a pink flamingo was photographed at a Cape Cod beach. First, it was Chapin in Dennis and then Bass Hole in Yarmouth. These are neighboring beaches so it seems this bird is sticking to a small area. Despite knowing that, I could go and patrol Chapin and Bass for hours, days, and weeks and never see the flamingo. I’d just end up losing what’s left of my mind. It’s much different from the snowy owls at West Dennis Beach. In winter those things practically have signs and autograph tables they’re so easy to find.

2. I now own a separate special beard shampoo. Exciting, right? For the last few years during winter, I have grown a full-on beard for months. It’s mostly white as I am now staring down 50 but I decided against coloring the hair as I did it once in my 20s and it looked so obvious because my beard was 3 shades darker than the hair on my head. Anyway, I now have a long mainly-white goatee and decided to go back to specialty beard shampoo. This means that not only is my beard all nice and clean, but I also can’t shave it until the shampoo runs out to justify spending $10 on it.

3. On Cape Cod in late July there’s a cool relatively new tradition. Big Nick’s Ride For the Fallen is essentially a motorcycle parade in honor of local war hero Nicholas Xiarhos who was killed in Afghanistan in 2009. The ride began that same year and has steadily grown to be a major event in the summer. The ride encompasses much of the Cape beginning at the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne. Interestingly where I live in Yarmouth is directly on the ride route, so each year the riders pass by. I was curious how big the event was. There are definitely over 1,000 motorcycles that participate. However to give you a better idea I set my timer on my phone. It began as soon as I saw the lead bike coming down the street. From that moment until the final bike passed by it was just a shade under 20 straight minutes of riders. You’re not wrong, that is in fact a lot of motorcycles.

4. During an afternoon walk through my favorite neighborhood near me I started noticing something. On one particular street, there were probably half a dozen porta potties in different people’s yards. It took me a minute to process as momentarily I thought it was some sort of new yard decorating craze. No, it was just everyone on that street having work done at the same time.

That might be too many porta potties

5. While standing in line at the supermarket I was behind a mother and father with their adorable little girl in the seat of the shopping cart. She was about 2 and just stared at me so I began flipping my sunglasses down from the top of my head over my eyes repeatedly. She in turn started playing peek-a-boo. It was so cute and so much fun that I apologized to her when I had to leave and go pay for my things at another self-checkout register.

6. The youngest client I have ever trained is 13. He plays a whole bunch of sports but is still learning the basics of exercise. His aunt signed him up for hour-long sessions with me. He really doesn’t need hours but that’s what was paid for so I’ll do it. Anyway, these sessions while a lot of fun pretty much always devolve into him asking me how to do (insert exercise) and me having to demonstrate it. I think I come out of these sessions having done more work than he does. I’m always sweaty and tired from doing nonstop deadlifts, pull-ups, push-ups, etc. Who’s training who?

7. Boston advertising legend and giant of philanthropy for decades Jack Connors died this week. In 2007 Jack purchased the Marshside Restaurant in Dennis on Cape Cod where I had been working for years. Out of respect for the job we did in the kitchen, he paid several of us full-time for 9 months while the building was completely rebuilt and opened into what people see today. He kept the restaurant going after my boss Marylou passed suddenly in 2010. He gave so much to us there and I stayed much longer than I ever intended due to the tremendous amount of loyalty I felt toward him. Jack was so much more than the owner of the Marshside. He was a good man that made you feel important whenever he spoke to you. I am very sad he is gone but so grateful for what he gave me and so many others that crossed paths with him. RIP sir, you lived a great life.

8. I saw the king of all parking lot jerks this week. I’ve seen people park halfway into a spot. I’ve seen people park inches away from the car next to them. Hell, I’ve even seen people take up 2 parking spots just because they’re entitled d-bags. Never have I seen a single vehicle take up 4 parking spots. I’m not talking about being at the very far end of a large empty lot. No, I’m talking about in the middle of a busy parking lot. Bow down to the king of entitled pricks.

9. I’m sure many of you have watched and laughed at the Planet Fitness fail videos. The ones where people do incredibly stupid things at the gym thinking they know fitness. Being a member of Planet Fitness I am here to tell you that they are all totally true. I see some of the most foolish things I could imagine by people with less than zero idea of how to exercise. Sadly at least at the locations I’ve been to they don’t hire real trainers to help these people before they get hurt, or at least go viral for a few days.

10. I took a detour on a run this week. I ended up venturing down to my former middle school. 35 years ago this fall I started 6^th grade at Mattacheese Middle School. 35 years, yikes. Anyway, it’s closed now and likely will be torn down in the coming years. There are still occasional town sports held in the gym. That was the case on this day. I was brave enough to enter and go a little way down a hall. I figured peeking into the gym might not be received well, and also taking a walk around the empty school (which has security cameras) might also not be wise. Maybe next time I’ll have more courage to fully trespass in my old school.

Just visiting 

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog. #20: Library Tricks, Move Birds Get Out the Way, Smashing Pumpkins, etc.

1. I was sitting in the library trying to get some work done on a few upcoming projects. It’s rarely dead silent and I understand that. However this time it was unusual as a woman sauntered in with a big recyclable grocery bag that made a ton of noise as she walked. She then proceeded to sit down at a computer and have a full-on loud conversation with someone on her phone. Now I can say for sure what her job was, but she kept telling the man on the other end that she could get him more money and that she’d gotten $20 of what she was owed. She then angrily asked if this was how the whole summer was going to be before storming out of the library with her loud bag crunching along. UPDATE: She came back in and was loud again on the phone, swearing until another woman came over and confronted her. The librarian then had to throw her out.

2. It’s funny in a kind of sad way to see people like EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of my IG/FB stories EXCEPT for the one where I wish people a happy Pride Month. Yeah, I see you homophobes you can take your story likes and shove them up your prejudiced asses.

3. Note to self, don’t sit anywhere outside during the warmer months. You either leave a sweat print on something when it’s super hot, or you act as a duster and get all of the pollen, pine needles, and whatever other random stuff is there to stick to you. Also worms, those little green worms, they’re everywhere and on everything.

4. It was a wild scene driving down this road to a nearby beach. The people ahead of me were going slow, 25mph. I was about 2 car lengths back. Up ahead were 6-7 birds in the road. They looked like doves. I say ‘looked like’ because I didn’t notice them until the car ahead had run over one. They didn’t fly or even really attempt to move. I saw that and swerved to the left. The other birds were running around the road, not flying, but running. I have no clue if I hit one, I did my best to avoid them, but the car behind me stopped. Don’t know why those birds were just clustered along the road like that.

5. When I go for a walk or run I have my headphones on and music playing. I do pay attention to my surroundings but can zone out at times. As I was on a walk this week I was zoned out. I felt like I had tripped over a stick. It turns out it was a dog that I guess was trying to get my attention. It was a puppy, a brown-ish Labradoodle. Even when the owner finally came around to get his dog it followed me for a few hundred feet. I’d have been fine taking the dog with me but I had to cross a main road, and the owner likely had some treats to coax it home.

6. I should have known better than to think I was out of the woods when it came to allergies this year. Typically I have 2 battles with allergies, late April/early May and then mid to late August. I got to the first week of June and finally had a day where my throat felt like it was just caked in pollen. It was like that stupid spoonful of cinnamon challenge from several years ago except slightly less tasty.

7. A double-dip of Halloween entry here. For one, my Halloween pumpkin finally was tossed out. By tossed out I mean smashed on pavement for a video. It lasted from mid-October until the first week of June, pretty good. Second, there is a house in my town that has a group of life-sized skeletons in its front yard that the owners put in funny situations all year long. Currently, they are playing cornhole. In the past they’ve been Santa and reindeer, around a campfire, mowing the lawn, and tons of other classics.

8. When I was 16 I would tear open a bag of M&Ms and pour them into my hand for a quick sugar rush. Now at 46 I tear open several bottles of vitamins and supplements and pour them into my hand so that I can get out of bed without my joints sounding like bubble wrap.

9. In a first for Cape Cod this past week there was an authentic pink flamingo at Chapin Beach in Dennis. Experts think it got disoriented from a hurricane last year and flew north and can’t figure out how to get home. It looked like someone had bought a plastic flamingo and placed it out on the tidal flats, until someone shared a video of the flamingo walking. Now I wonder what other exotic animals might be fun to see on Cape Cod. Nothing super dangerous, but maybe a moose would be fun.

10. I saw a slow-motion car accident in the gym parking lot. I say slow motion because each vehicle was backing out of spaces like snails. They bumped with literally no damage to either. That didn’t stop the people from arguing about who was at fault. Because you’ve got to win the argument even if nothing of consequence comes from it.

11. I will never take for granted that I can be out for a walk on the nearby bike trail and if I time it right I can bump into my Uncle Steve out for a run. The other morning we stopped and chatted for a few and it made my day. Some time will be the last time so I don’t ever want to miss an opportunity if I get it.