Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #119: Exploding Brace, Temu Google Maps, Boardwalk Memorial, etc.

1. Sometimes I can anticipate something happening before it does. Despite knowing the possibilities, I still do it. No, this isn’t very serious. I bought a gel knee wrap from Job Lot that can be heated or frozen to help with knee pain. I thought it was a great idea, and it was only $5. I used it the same night. I only microwaved it for 45 seconds. It came out warm but not hot. I wrapped it around my left knee and sat to watch some TV. The gel didn’t really stay warm, so I decided to give it a refresh. In my mind, I was laughing, thinking that the gel might explode. Obviously, I didn’t think it would really happen. So I put the wrap back in the microwave. This time I set it for a minute to try to get the gel properly hot. I walked away and heard a pop. Yup, the gel exploded in the microwave with 2 seconds left on the timer. There were hundreds of little blue gel beads strewn all over the microwave. I had to grab the turntable and scoop the beads into a Ziploc bag. They were hot and kind of slimy, so I had to go scrub the turntable and wash my hands. It was a few minutes of me finding rogue beads on the floor. Needless to say, that gel wrap was returned with the receipt. I also bought a knee compression sleeve, but I don’t think that it will explode if I wear it.


2. Being someone who once prided himself on being a borderline elite runner for a little while less than a decade ago, the fact that someone just finished a full marathon (26.2 miles) in under two hours is mind-boggling. Kenyan Sabastian Sawe finished the London Marathon in a staggering 1 hour 59 minutes and 30 seconds. It broke the men’s world record by 65 seconds. To put it into perspective, here are some stats. Sawe ran the equivalent of a half-marathon (13.1 miles) in an hour. At my absolute physical peak as a runner, I could finish a half-marathon in 94 minutes. That’s a 7-minute 10-second pace. Sawe’s pace for a full 26.2 miles was an other-worldly 4 minutes 34 seconds per mile. Again, at my peak, I could pull off a 5-minute 30-second mile. One mile. Then I’d either start wearing down or just be totally gassed and fall over. He was nearly a minute per mile faster than my best for a full marathon. Incredible. Lost in that accomplishment is the fact that the second-place finisher, Yomif Kejelcha of Ethiopia, also finished in under two hours. He clocked in at 1 hour, 59 minutes, and 41 seconds. Oh, and it was his first-ever marathon.


3. I was eagerly anticipating Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 when it dropped on Netflix last week. It’s an animated spin-off that takes place between seasons 2 and 3 of the show in canon. I am already enjoying it because the voice actors all sound almost identical to the original characters. It is 10 episodes, each clocking in around 30 minutes. That means most of you could probably binge the season in an afternoon. Me, I am taking my time. I have a tendency to only watch one episode of any show I am watching per night. I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but I think this is a great little side quest for anyone who enjoys Stranger Things. Also, based on the timeline of these 10 episodes, I could easily see there being a second season if the Duffer Brothers chose to do so. I will always be longing for a spin-off in the future where Mike travels and finds Eleven by the waterfalls, but this is also good. Plus, it is low-risk since I know none of the characters are going to die, since they all obviously make it to season 3. All in all, a fun, easy, engaging watch. UPDATE: Season 2 of Tales From ‘85 has been announced for this fall.

4. It’s confusing the way that things are monetized online. My blog, the same one this post is a part of, routinely gets 100,000 or more views per month. In full transparency, I believe that the vast majority are bots that have infiltrated my blog since I don’t do any of the CAPTCHA junk. Still, it’s a lot of views regardless. I researched that if you use Google Adsense, as I do, a blog that has 100,000 views in a month should earn at least $500 or more in that same month. As of this writing, my blog has 140,000 views in April. How much have I earned? 40 cents. I have no clue what the deal is. If bots aren’t counted toward monetization, then why are they counted toward my overall view count? Fix it one way or the other. I’m fine with 40 cents if that accurately reflects the number of views on my blog. I see the total, though, and unless there’s some glitch on Google’s end, I feel like I should be earning way way more than I am. I sent them feedback about it. We’ll see if anything changes.


5. I have mentioned before that I have a 12, now 13, year old client I train. I have to basically do the same workout in order to get him to stay engaged. In the end, I’ll typically burn anywhere from 250-350 calories in 30 minutes as I kill myself to make sure he exercises. We chat as we throw medicine balls, and one thing I have learned is that he is very big on computer repairs. He finds and repurposes computers from the dump or ones that are given to him by others. I believe he has something like 6-8 working computers and nearly a dozen that don’t currently work. I made the mistake of mentioning that I had a pair of old laptops at home. He asked for both, and I compromised with one. I didn’t mind giving it to him since it’s been collecting dust in the closet for probably 5 years. My only mistake was giving it to him before the training session started. It was impossible to get him focused as he tried starting the laptop and checking to see what its specs were. He was happy with it and said thank you, but our workout was not great since he was pretty distracted the entire time. Oh, and he did ask again about the other old laptop, but I said I was holding onto it.


6. The brace and wrap for my knee that I mentioned earlier were bought because I’ve had an issue with my left knee that’s gotten a little worse lately. The area where the patellar tendon attaches to the lower leg has been inflamed and is pretty annoying when my knee is fully flexed. The issue is stability in the lower leg. Another product I bought to try to help with that is a strap that is attached right below the knee at the top of the calf. When the strap is on, it almost immediately stabilizes my left ankle. I went for a long walk after putting it on and was amazed by how stable it felt and how confident I felt in it. Maybe it was just a mental thing, and the effects weren’t that great, but who knows? I even tried to do a little running. It was a positive first try. Only time will tell if this strap can put an end to the knee issue, or at least lessen it. It’s just another thing I need to take, or wear, to keep my body running as best it can. Soon, it’ll be a 12-step process just to step out of bed in the morning.


7. I have mentioned before that my new favorite thing is to shoot videos while driving. I extend my selfie stick up through my moon roof and hold it while I steer with the other hand. I only do it on less crowded roads and also only drive slowly. I know it sounds like I’m defending something dangerous. Typically, I film while driving to beaches since people like those videos. One thing I’ve started noticing is the stares I get from people, especially those walking, as I drive by. In fact, a little girl was walking with her dad on one day, and since I was driving slowly, I could see her point and ask What is that?’ It made me wonder what people think is going on with my car when I go by. Do people think I am a Temu version of the Google Maps car? Like, they didn’t want to send the official vehicle to Cape Cod, so they stuck a camera on an old Toyota and asked me to just drive around? As stupid as that sounds, I could see someone thinking that’s what it was. I should get a Google Maps wrap for my car. Then maybe I’d be allowed to drive into private places like Great Island and Oyster Harbors. This is an example of my driving videos.




8. After what seems like a few years of planning, the new Parker’s River Landing recreation area opened this week in West Yarmouth. It is where there was a drive-in when I was growing up in the 1980s. Amazing that I am of that age where I can tell younger people, ‘back in my day this used to be (whatever)…’ The opening day was cloudy and cool, but even with less-than-stellar weather, the place looks great. There is a huge green field for play and probably for festivals, concerts, and things like that in the summer. There is a playground, a kayak launch ramp, and the biggest attraction, which is an elevated boardwalk that extends over the marsh. There are beautiful views of Seagull Beach to the north and Parker’s River to the east. I have a feeling that I will be visiting there a lot in the future.



9. The real main reason I went to Parker’s River Landing had to do with that boardwalk I mentioned. Located out on the boardwalk, there are probably at least a few dozen engraved planks that people bought. One of those planks is in honor of my Uncle Eric. He passed away a little over 3 years ago from pancreatic cancer. My aunt and cousin got the plank with his name on it. I waited until there wasn’t anyone else out on the boardwalk so that I could take my time and search for it. I was torn. On one hand, it is a beautiful spot, and it will be nice to use that area as a place to reconnect with him every now and then in a roundabout way. On the other hand, I’d much rather be chatting and laughing with him at a cookout than sitting next to a plank with his name on it. I made the best of it. I sat and played a song that always reminds me of him for a bit. Other people eventually came out, so I had to cut it a little short. There will be another time.



10. I have been going to my local Planet Fitness gym for many years. In fact, when I first started there, it was called World Gym. Last year, they did a major upgrade on all of the equipment. Before that, you’d have a handful of machines out of order at any time. They added common equipment that any reputable gym has, like kettlebells, bands, BOSU balls, medicine balls, and foam rollers. Yes, for years, they had none of that stuff. I still wish they had more specialized equipment to make my workout more complete. That being said, I was shaking to my core with excitement over the latest addition to Planet Fitness. No, it wasn’t battle ropes, or barbells for deadlifts, or red light therapy. No, it was even better. Little digital advertisements over the faucet at every sink in the bathroom. They are called ‘sinkside billboards.’ Are you kidding me? No money for equipment upgrades, but they waste it on little TV screens that make it so I can’t see where the faucet is at the sink. I guarantee you if one of those stupid things shorted out, they’d have maintenance in there in five seconds. If a machine breaks down, it’s down for weeks. Absolutely one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.


11. In honor of the opening of the Parker’s River Landing on the former grounds of the Yarmouth Drive-In, I took it upon myself to go for another trip down memory lane. This involved another former drive-in site. The Dennis Drive-In was open from 1949 to roughly 1986 on Hokum Rock Road. Since closing, it has been allowed to become overgrown. Despite forty years, you can still see the asphalt of the parking lot. You can also see the roads where the cars would drive and park with their front end elevated slightly on a hill for the best view of the screen. The peak of treasure hunting comes from looking for the old speaker poles that have been left strewn about the grounds. When I was there, I counted four that I found, but I am sure that in an area that used to be able to fit 600 cars, there are probably more. It’s only when you see one of these poles that you realize what used to be there. Otherwise, it just looks like an abandoned lot where some jerks dump trash. Who knows, maybe someday they will turn that property into something useful. Right now it’s just a scavenger hunt.




12. The first week of May meant it was finally time to get rid of my Halloween pumpkin. You heard right. I still had the mini pumpkin I bought in early October. It was honestly still in good condition, which is why I think I forgot to get rid of it. I can’t just throw it in the trash. Where’s the fun in that? I made a whole short film about me seeking revenge on the pumpkin because it wouldn’t help me shovel snow in the winter. This all culminated in my driving to Scargo Tower in Dennis, climbing to the top of the 30+-foot tower, and heaving the pumpkin over the side. Amazingly, it didn’t explode when it hit the parking lot. I had to come back down and slam dunk it onto the pavement for the full effect. Then it was tossed into the nearby woods to be food for animals. All of this was filmed for some laughs.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #70: Good Firewood, Cute Bunnies, Musical Parking Spots, etc.

 

1. I was out for a drive and went past a house that had one of those racks filled with bundles of firewood. That’s pretty common, especially on Cape Cod. Then you’ll see a cheaply made sign that says something like ‘Fire Wood $10 a bundle.’ Well, this particular house must have been having bad luck with its sales. Their sign said exactly what I just wrote, but then scribbled in black marker next to it was the word ‘Good.’ So, putting ‘good’ next to your firewood sign, I don’t think, will bring new potential customers, but that’s just me. It’s like Milhouse on The Simpsons saying ‘but my mom thinks I’m cool.’ Nah, doesn’t work.

2. Nothing is better than ending a day of work by being challenged to a race on a ski ergometer by your boss. A ski erg basically mimics a skiing motion and is great for cardio training. If you’re not prepared, it can leave you wiped out. We battled it out to see who could get to 500 meters fastest. My boss did it in 1:29, I finished in 1:31. Both really great times. I was gassed and then had to drive home with my arms destroyed and feeling like I wanted to lay down and sleep. I will be trying to beat his time, though, in the future, just after warming up first.

3. I can still run, not as fast or as far as I used to, but each time I do, I feel a little more confident. Nothing kills that confidence like playing some basketball. I go to a full court at a recreation area less than a mile from where I live. Rarely, if ever, do I see people playing there so I usually have it all to myself. Running up and down the court is doable. Stopping, cutting, and most of all jumping, these are a different story. I played a ton as a kid and was even on the school team in 7^th and 8^th grade. Now staring down 50, I feel my age when trying to do any sort of jump shot. My left knee has nothing left to give. I’m surprised I can clear an anthill with my sad hops today.

4. It’s late May with Memorial Day Weekend arriving. Yet here I sat one evening this week, bundled up in my winter night clothes, wrapped in a blanket. A heavy rainstorm on Thursday was dumping 1-2” of rain. That kept temperatures hovering around 50. Coupled with gusts of over 55mph, it left it feeling like it was in the mid-30s. Of course, I’ve had my heat off for over a month, since you know it’s spring. Memorial Day Monday will be sunny and 65 but still that one chilly night was like the scene in a horror movie where the killer comes back for one more scare.

5. Few things will stop your heart than having it say your credit/debit card was declined. Luckily, when it happened this week, it was because I had mistyped my own PIN number. I was paying for something at a store and saw the ‘declined’ pop-up. Even though I knew that I had simply typed the wrong PIN number, my heart jumped. In this day and age, with identity theft being a real issue, your mind immediately goes to ‘oh no did I get hacked?’ I breathed a sigh of relief when I tried a second time with my PIN, but there was a split second where I was terrified.

6. I love rabbits. They’re so cute. The only thing cuter than a rabbit is a baby bunny. So you can imagine my thrill when coming home one evening this week, I saw a little puffball bunny eating grass in the front yard. I am working hard to get photos and/or video. I could try to coax it closer with food. The problem is that it’s a little one I don’t want to get it used to people as it’s not going to be a pet. I’d feel bad if this little baseball-sized fluffy bunny got hurt because it started hanging around waiting to be fed. There are coyotes, owls, foxes, and other animals living nearby that would love a rabbit dinner. So I’ll have to work on my skills with a zoom lens to get some bunny photos.

7. The Planet Fitness location I go to this week, finally, and I do mean finally, updated its equipment. I have the Black Card membership and have visited probably close to 10 other locations. Each of those has equipment like medicine balls, kettlebells, bands, foam rollers, and other things that are great for exercise. The gym closest to me seemed to think dumbbells and machines that constantly broke down were good enough for us. They were closed 2 full days putting in all new equipment, and I will say I was pleasantly surprised by what is there now. Although true to form when I got there, one of the new cardio machines already had an ‘out of order’ sign on it.

8. It was an odd sight while sitting in a mostly empty beach parking lot that I saw a car parked a ways away. It backed out of one spot, but rather than leaving, it moved about 3 spots down and parked again. I thought to myself, was the view really that different, like 10 feet away? They only stayed a few minutes longer, so I’ll never know what was up with them. Maybe they have a parking spot checklist and they’re trying to spend a few minutes in all of them before the end of the summer?

9. I have fallen down a rabbit hole of watching other people play the Friday the 13^th game that came out in 2017. You can play as a counselor trying to survive, or even better, you can play as Jason and kill people in some really gruesome ways. I enjoy watching others play for a few minutes as long as there’s no commentary from the players, just the sounds of Jason on a killing spree. I should probably just get the game and play myself. Then I can post YouTube videos of me playing just like a 15-year-old!

10. It takes a special kind of person to pull up to a trash can at the beach and get out to throw a full garbage bag into it in broad daylight. This lady didn’t even try to hide what she was doing. I debated saying something but I figured at least she threw it in the can, unlike the scum who leave full bags of trash on the side of the road. After she left, I briefly thought about checking to see if she had thrown anything away with her address on it. I had a fantasy of finding her house and throwing the bag on her lawn. Then I remembered this would mean I’d have to dig through someone’s bag of trash in a public place. There’s no way I wouldn’t end up looking crazy.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog: #49 - Night Light, Oatmeal Magic, Gift Wrapping Woes, etc.

1. I was doing a bit of cleaning. More like collecting junk to throw away. I came upon a night light I probably hadn’t used in 10 years. I can’t remember why I got it unless I was afraid monsters would get me when I went to the bathroom at night. It had been sitting with a pile of stuff bound for the trash for days. I had second thoughts and figured there must be somewhere I could plug it in in case it was needed. So I plugged it in. I flipped the switch and the bulb immediately blew out. I don’t know what I was expecting after 10 years, but the night light is now officially in the trash.

2. From the ‘good problems’ department. I got a Christmas bonus this week from my job. My boss wrote out a check. Naturally, I wanted to go and cash it. If you don’t have an account at the bank the check is from you just present your driver’s license and sign the back and you’re good to go. The ‘good problem’ came from the fact that the check was for a pretty nice chunk of change. The woman who was helping me actually had me wait while she left and got on the phone. It turned out she was calling my boss to make sure he had written the check and that I wasn’t some thief trying to fleece him with a forgery. That’s the first time that’s ever happened.

3. A fun little game I like to play includes having my chat window open on Facebook. What I do is look at my friends online, typically 12 names fit without having to scroll down. I then imagine what a get-together including all of them would look like. I wonder what types of friend groups I’d have, whether family would get along, or having to introduce strangers to each other. Hey, it could be worse. I could do that same sort of game but have little dolls representing everyone and reenact scenes.

Getting ready to play Facebook Chat.

4. I waited until Christmas morning to wrap the gifts I had. There was one large gift and the rest were all smaller in size. I decided to wrap the smaller ones first since it would be quicker. Big mistake. While wrapping the big gift, one for my mother, I ran out of wrapping paper. I needed a solution rather than bringing the gift over half-wrapped. My brilliant idea was to use a few promotional posters I was given with one of my books. I put them blank side up and finished the wrapping job with them. Foolish, yes, but also resourceful.

5. Hilarity ensued on Christmas. It began with my sister Ashley’s dog Buddha barking nonstop at our aunt who he rarely sees. This went on for probably two hours. The true hilarity came when it was dinner time. Buddha who had been barking at her nonstop decided to be good and go beg for food from our aunt once he ran out of options with the rest of us. As you can see his hunger tops any stranger danger he might have. Hopefully, no white vans offer him candy on the streets.

6. As many of you know I have been sober for going on 4 ½ years. That fact became a superpower on Christmas Eve. As everyone at the party was getting various degrees of inebriated I was standing back and taking notes on some of the fun and foolish things being said and done. Obviously, they’re all my friends so there (likely) won’t be any blackmailing. Plus I’m staring down 50 in a few years I can’t go acting like a rowdy teen anymore, no matter how young I might appear.

7. I hadn’t been into Vitamin Shoppe in quite a while. In the days before COVID, I was in there a lot for supplements, etc for my own fitness. In the time since COVID, it’s been more of finding things in the supermarket or ordering online. That meant that when I went in and the young girl working asked if she could help me I had to actually ask for help rather than knowing what I was looking for. This could have been dangerous if she wanted to try to upsell me on the most expensive products. Luckily I got out of there with only a few things.

8. I have become a big fan of the Outdoor Boys YouTube channel. It’s a father in Alaska who does lots of cool survival camping sometimes with his three sons. They have nearly 12 million subscribers so a lot of others like them too. Perhaps the greatest thing I have learned from the Outdoor Boys is how good putting butter on oatmeal is. That has changed my world. If you haven’t tried it I highly recommend it. If you don’t like oatmeal just try it with loads of butter and cinnamon and sugar, maybe chocolate, or peanut butter. It’ll be just like candy, very healthy.

9. I’ve been on a kick of watching Larry Bird highlights. It makes me feel lucky that I grew up where I did and when I did as I got to watch him in his prime. An unintended side effect is my realization of how much I love the old 1980s sports uniforms, not just basketball. Maybe it’s just the old logos but I love the Mavericks and Cavaliers in basketball. The Padres, Expos, Astros, and Pirates in baseball. The Oilers, Buccaneers, and even the old Patriots uniforms in football. They all remind me of my childhood.

10. I’m a big fan of the hydromassage beds at Planet Fitness. It makes my Black Card membership worth it. Anyway, I was next in line for one of the 2 beds. They said a 5-minute wait. I sat down and waited and noticed a man leaving the hydro room. So I went in. For some reason, he had left before the 10-minute massage time was done. Rather than let that go to waste I jumped on and got 3 extra minutes. Then when that was finished the other bed, the one I was signed up for, was ready. So I got 10 minutes there. Before my time was done I saw the other bed was ready to go again. I figured this was for another member but when my 10 minutes was up nobody had come in or was in sight. I debated getting another round of hydro but figured that I’d jump on that bed and someone would show up and yell. So I just left.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog - #27: Flamingo, Porta Potty Lawn Ornaments, Nostalgic Trespassing, etc

1. For the 2^nd time in a month a pink flamingo was photographed at a Cape Cod beach. First, it was Chapin in Dennis and then Bass Hole in Yarmouth. These are neighboring beaches so it seems this bird is sticking to a small area. Despite knowing that, I could go and patrol Chapin and Bass for hours, days, and weeks and never see the flamingo. I’d just end up losing what’s left of my mind. It’s much different from the snowy owls at West Dennis Beach. In winter those things practically have signs and autograph tables they’re so easy to find.

2. I now own a separate special beard shampoo. Exciting, right? For the last few years during winter, I have grown a full-on beard for months. It’s mostly white as I am now staring down 50 but I decided against coloring the hair as I did it once in my 20s and it looked so obvious because my beard was 3 shades darker than the hair on my head. Anyway, I now have a long mainly-white goatee and decided to go back to specialty beard shampoo. This means that not only is my beard all nice and clean, but I also can’t shave it until the shampoo runs out to justify spending $10 on it.

3. On Cape Cod in late July there’s a cool relatively new tradition. Big Nick’s Ride For the Fallen is essentially a motorcycle parade in honor of local war hero Nicholas Xiarhos who was killed in Afghanistan in 2009. The ride began that same year and has steadily grown to be a major event in the summer. The ride encompasses much of the Cape beginning at the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne. Interestingly where I live in Yarmouth is directly on the ride route, so each year the riders pass by. I was curious how big the event was. There are definitely over 1,000 motorcycles that participate. However to give you a better idea I set my timer on my phone. It began as soon as I saw the lead bike coming down the street. From that moment until the final bike passed by it was just a shade under 20 straight minutes of riders. You’re not wrong, that is in fact a lot of motorcycles.

4. During an afternoon walk through my favorite neighborhood near me I started noticing something. On one particular street, there were probably half a dozen porta potties in different people’s yards. It took me a minute to process as momentarily I thought it was some sort of new yard decorating craze. No, it was just everyone on that street having work done at the same time.

That might be too many porta potties

5. While standing in line at the supermarket I was behind a mother and father with their adorable little girl in the seat of the shopping cart. She was about 2 and just stared at me so I began flipping my sunglasses down from the top of my head over my eyes repeatedly. She in turn started playing peek-a-boo. It was so cute and so much fun that I apologized to her when I had to leave and go pay for my things at another self-checkout register.

6. The youngest client I have ever trained is 13. He plays a whole bunch of sports but is still learning the basics of exercise. His aunt signed him up for hour-long sessions with me. He really doesn’t need hours but that’s what was paid for so I’ll do it. Anyway, these sessions while a lot of fun pretty much always devolve into him asking me how to do (insert exercise) and me having to demonstrate it. I think I come out of these sessions having done more work than he does. I’m always sweaty and tired from doing nonstop deadlifts, pull-ups, push-ups, etc. Who’s training who?

7. Boston advertising legend and giant of philanthropy for decades Jack Connors died this week. In 2007 Jack purchased the Marshside Restaurant in Dennis on Cape Cod where I had been working for years. Out of respect for the job we did in the kitchen, he paid several of us full-time for 9 months while the building was completely rebuilt and opened into what people see today. He kept the restaurant going after my boss Marylou passed suddenly in 2010. He gave so much to us there and I stayed much longer than I ever intended due to the tremendous amount of loyalty I felt toward him. Jack was so much more than the owner of the Marshside. He was a good man that made you feel important whenever he spoke to you. I am very sad he is gone but so grateful for what he gave me and so many others that crossed paths with him. RIP sir, you lived a great life.

8. I saw the king of all parking lot jerks this week. I’ve seen people park halfway into a spot. I’ve seen people park inches away from the car next to them. Hell, I’ve even seen people take up 2 parking spots just because they’re entitled d-bags. Never have I seen a single vehicle take up 4 parking spots. I’m not talking about being at the very far end of a large empty lot. No, I’m talking about in the middle of a busy parking lot. Bow down to the king of entitled pricks.

9. I’m sure many of you have watched and laughed at the Planet Fitness fail videos. The ones where people do incredibly stupid things at the gym thinking they know fitness. Being a member of Planet Fitness I am here to tell you that they are all totally true. I see some of the most foolish things I could imagine by people with less than zero idea of how to exercise. Sadly at least at the locations I’ve been to they don’t hire real trainers to help these people before they get hurt, or at least go viral for a few days.

10. I took a detour on a run this week. I ended up venturing down to my former middle school. 35 years ago this fall I started 6^th grade at Mattacheese Middle School. 35 years, yikes. Anyway, it’s closed now and likely will be torn down in the coming years. There are still occasional town sports held in the gym. That was the case on this day. I was brave enough to enter and go a little way down a hall. I figured peeking into the gym might not be received well, and also taking a walk around the empty school (which has security cameras) might also not be wise. Maybe next time I’ll have more courage to fully trespass in my old school.

Just visiting 

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog - #21: Grampa's Donuts, Just Like Flanders, Stinky Footprints, etc.

1. Hole In One Donuts has 4 locations. There are 3 on Cape Cod including a new one that opened in Yarmouth at the end of May. My Grampa in his life operated several donut shops including one in Hyannis. When he was forced to close his shop in the early 1990s the place that bought his equipment was Hole In One. They make their donuts exactly the same way my Grampa used to. This week I bought a half-dozen from their new location. I brought these to my mother, stepfather, and sister so that they could eat Grampa’s donuts again. I highly recommend Hole In One.

Grampa's donut shop ad from 1976

2. I live within walking distance of a high school. This means I can walk down to the track to run. After a recent run, I climbed up into the bleachers to an enclosed area to sit for a few minutes. My mistake. There was a bird angrily tweeting as it was trying to build a nest in one of the corners. I sat for a few more minutes until the bird brought two more birds. By that time the numbers game was against me. I mean I could take one of those little fluff balls, but 3? I don’t know. 

3. Two days a week I have to get up extra early to go to work. Typically I am up around 4:45am. That means the night before I am in bed early as well. I am popping melatonin at 7:30pm and drawing the blinds. It reminds me of the Simpsons episode when Bart, Lisa, and Maggie get sent to live with the Flanders. They end up in bed while it’s still sunny and kids are playing outside. That’s my Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

4. Is there a certain time of day/night when emergency vehicles don’t or won’t use their sirens? I have seen ambulances heading to a nearby retirement home after 10pm with no sirens going. Yet this week I heard sirens before 6am. Is there no rhyme or reason? Or is this just done on a case-by-case basis?

5. I was on a walk on a sunny afternoon on the bike trail. A young couple rode by with their son in the little rear trailer. The father turned and said something to me as he rode by. I could see his mouth move and he started to slow down. My first thought was uh-oh are we going to fight? Quite the opposite they were so sweet and asked which direction on the bike trail would get them to a beautiful spot first. I pointed them back the way they came and told them to go about 2 miles. They were so grateful and I was happy I helped someone instead of a random bike trail fight.

6. At my work we are working with something called metabolic breath analysis. The company’s name is PNOE(Greek for breath). Before we roll it out to our patients we all have had to do both the resting and active metabolic tests. The gist of the testing is that you are given results for 23 biological markers in your body as well as ways to improve them. Highly valuable stuff. My favorite stat to come from the tests is biological age. It’s a good view of how well you’ve lived up to that point. I am 13 years younger biologically than chronologically. So I am well on my way to living to 100.

7. I was driving from Sandwich to Yarmouth on Rt. 6A the other day when it began to rain. When I say ‘rain’ I mean it went from a few drops to an ocean on the streets in a minute. It was one of the hardest downpours I’ve ever been in and makes it easy to see how cars can get suddenly inundated with water in a flash flood. Then just as quickly as it was insanity it was over. A wild ride.

8. I buy so many of the same products and visit Stop & Shop so often that I sadly know when prices are lower for these things at different locations. At a store probably half an hour from where I live I started noticing the differences. First I was like ‘Oh man everything is cheaper here.’ Then it morphed into ‘Oh man I have memorized prices for the things I buy.’ I didn’t know whether to pat myself on the back for having a good memory or hang my head in embarrassment that this type of info is what I fill my limited brain cells with.

9. A clean gym is a happy gym. The gym I work at? Clean. The gym I’m a member at? Not so much. The latest adventure was a urinal being out of order leading me to have to use a stall. No biggie right? That was until next to the toilet in the stall was a nice smear of poop on the floor. To top it off there was a sliding footprint meaning someone slipped in it. Me? I had to use my memories of playing Twister to avoid the hazard but still hit the toilet. That’ll be a fun job for whoever has to clean it.

Not too far off from the gym bathroom

10. Cape Cod in the summer equals people backing out of their driveway into the street without hesitating despite you driving toward them. I think it’s the same ratio of stupid people as in the off-season it just is a larger number based on how many people come down to visit. Hell, even the birds forget what they’re doing. I had a bird in the road ahead as I drove, not fast, but instead of it flying to either side of my car, or you know up into the air, it flew at my car underneath it. All I saw in my rearview was feathers.

Song of the Week: Oh Honey -Delegation

Initial Impressions 2.0 #9: Thank You, Supermarket Matchmaking, Missing Socks, etc

#9: Thank You

1. The highlight of a trip to the grocery store came down to two people. First was this woman who was walking down an aisle and felt the need to burst into the Rice a Roni jingle when she saw the product. Second was the little boy who said ‘thank you’ to the automatic door when it slid open for him. So it’s a toss-up between funny and heartwarming. I’ll say it’s a tie.

2. I have always been one that enjoys my alone time. For a good 15 years, I have always seemed to be working on one project or another chasing my dreams of writing/content creation as a full-time gig. The Covid pandemic 4 years ago forced me to stay isolated even more than normal. Ironically I almost feel like I am stuck in that loop and don’t remember how to socialize anymore. Not sure if this is more common or if it is just me but I’ve been even more of an introvert since the pandemic.

3. With my local Planet Fitness it’s like you take what you can get. Last week they got a half-dozen all-new stability balls(the large balls you can use for ab crunches, etc). They must have gotten their annual equipment budget. So they got the new balls yay, but all of them are severely underinflated boo. It’s like trying to do crunches on a bean bag chair. Really good for your back, yay.

4. I don’t know if I heard it right but as I was leaving the grocery store I sure thought I heard a woman outside on the phone. She was sitting with an employee of the store, and the woman was trying to set up the employee with whoever was on the phone. I thought she said ‘I’m sitting with her now if you want to come meet her.’ Matchmaking skills.

5. Ordered a refresh of my CBD and they were nice enough to include a free bonus gift. It is a shot drink called Euphora, think of it as 5-Hour Energy but for mood. I have no idea how it will make me feel so I’m waiting until I have a day off to see. So the results will be in next week’s blog.

Will it deliver on its promise?

6. If I didn’t have to worry about anything my ultimate dream would be to embark on a never-ending road trip around the country. I would record podcasts from the road, write articles about places I visit, and take thousands of photos to share everywhere. Talk about scratching every creative itch I have in one fell swoop. Maybe someday.

7. I am not shocked that there is a sequel to the fever dream horror movie that is Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. What is shocking is that the sequel has actually gotten positive reviews. The first movie is 3% Fresh at Rotten Tomatoes. The sequel? 63% Fresh. I guess people like seeing Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and Owl murder dozens of people in increasingly graphic ways.

Yes, this is real.

8. I have only just become acquainted with the Winnebago Man. For those unaware of who or what that is, it’s an old viral YouTube video of outtakes of an RV salesman from Iowa in 1989 going crazy and swearing and losing his mind during a day of shooting a commercial. The man, Jack Rebney, became a viral sensation and even had a documentary made about him. Here’s the link so you can see the outtake video, highly recommended. Winnebago Man - Jack Rebney

9. From the Missing Sock Files: I was missing a sock for weeks and honestly had no idea where it could have possibly been. I went into my closet and grabbed a shirt off a hanger and suddenly there was the missing sock. It must have been stuck in the sleeve of the shirt and since I hadn’t worn the shirt in weeks it just stayed there hung up in my closet. That’s definitely a unique missing sock story.

10. 40 years ago this week the freighter Eldia ran aground in a storm at Nauset Beach in Orleans, Massachusetts. It was an unusual tourist attraction in the early spring while crews worked to dislodge it from the sand. For 6-year-old me it’s one of the first truly vivid memories I have. I remember trudging across the nearly half-mile of sand dunes to get a closer look at the nearly 500-foot-long behemoth. For those who might not remember, or have never heard of it, or want a refresher, here is my video on the event. The Wreck of the Eldia - 40 Years Later

Listen to the In My Footsteps Podcast

Subscribe to the YouTube Channel

Initial Impressions 2.0 #1: The Return

 #1 - The Return

    This is a return to my roots as a blogger. So to catch any newbies up to speed. I began a blog in October 2008 that was sporadically updated. It evolved into a travel blog I called In My Footsteps in January 2010. That blog was meant to be professional. Each post was a specific town I visited complete with photos, places to visit, stay, and eat. 

    Along the way, I noticed that I’d end up with some funny anecdotes from my road trips and just from life in general. I decided to create a second blog in May 2010 to highlight these funny and sometimes unbelievable stories. I called it Initial Impressions as I thought each post would deal with my first reactions to road trips and random events with little in the way of rewrites or taking time to let more lucid opinions form. It was purely spur of the moment.

    Over the ensuing years, the blog evolved into a chronicle of my running career before slowing down and eventually being rarely updated.

    In the fall of 2023, I created a Patreon page for subscriptions to support my content. One bit of exclusive content I created was a podcast where I reviewed and tried to shed some light on the fever dream that was the Initial Impressions blog. It was so much fun to relive and I enjoy creating new episodes of that Patreon podcast monthly.

    Recently I thought that since I enjoyed recording those podcasts so much, and since my life is still filled with weird, funny, and odd stories, why not start crafting new Initial Impressions blogs? So here we are in February 2024 with the first new Initial Impressions blog in almost 12 years. 

    These will start as a sort of weekly recap, rather than specific days. It gives me more time to experience more craziness and form odd opinions, and maybe a cryptic post or two.

1. I am a member of a Planet Fitness gym. At times while I’m there a commercial for Planet Fitness will come on one of the TVs. I have to laugh because I’ll look around and say ‘Hey, we don’t have any equipment like that here. No battle ropes, no TRX, no medicine balls, not even any foam rollers.’ It’s like seeing the pristine food in a fast food commercial and then when you get it it looks like someone just stepped on it.

2. I never thought the sound of the Recycle Bin on Windows would be something that brought me nostalgia until it was accidentally turned off for months. When I turned the sound back on and heard that crinkling paper it got me right in the feels.

3. It’s funny how even in a small community if you work hard enough you can avoid seeing someone you don’t want to see for many years. It takes talent to be this good at avoiding someone.

4. I have found myself over the last several years in a constant state of working on, editing, or marketing various creative projects in the hopes of a bigger breakthrough. At times it feels like being on a treadmill where no matter how fast I go I don’t get anywhere.

5. As I look around my place here in the first week of February I see Christmas lights up(well, white string lights), and my mini Halloween pumpkin going strong. I also have sliced turkey in the fridge but not from Thanksgiving.

The Nightmare Before Christmas at Thanksgiving Dinner

6. I highly recommend Exercise With Oxygen Therapy(EWOT) for anyone who has access. The 93% pure oxygen you breathe during cardio has so many benefits, a major one for me is allowing my body to run like it used to, even briefly. The oxygen tricks your brain into thinking it’s not working as hard as it is, thus you feel you can go harder. Here’s a link to explain more: Superhuman Protocol

7. If you had told teenage me that I’d be listening to a ton of downtempo music in my mid-40s I’d have likely shook my head in embarrassment and said I’m getting old. While that is true I find that music triggers something in my focus and creativity, plus there are some great beats.

8. I was training a client the other day, a nice older lady in her early 70s. It was going great until she got irritated at the ‘hip-hop’ music I was playing during the session. The song that was playing? Mickey by Toni Basil from 1981. Jay-Z or 2Pac it was not.

Hip-Hop?

9. Driving down a quiet road in the early morning on the way to work I encountered a raccoon walking directly toward me along the yellow median line. I stopped and eventually, it moved. I had to play chicken with a raccoon. I am now waiting for the day that I play raccoon with a chicken.

10. I have come to realize that some people will just never be happy. They could have everything they want exactly the way they want it and they would still find a reason to be upset. It’s as if they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they didn’t have something to be angry about.

Wise Words at the Sagamore Bridge, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Listen to the In My Footsteps Podcast

Subscribe to the YouTube Channel