Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #68: Bonfire, Odd Cemeteries, Serial Killer Training, etc.

1. Every time I think I’ve seen everything something else wacky happens. I was sitting at the beach on a beautiful sunny afternoon. It was just a perfect day and I was listening to a podcast and enjoying the spring air. I thought at one point I noticed some smoke from an area straight ahead on the sand but there were people around and I was not paying that close of attention. That was until the fire department showed up. It was then that I noticed an old lady is a red sweater and plaid pajama pants waving them over and pointing to where I had seen the smoke. According to another bystander who was explaining it to a car parked near me the lady had called the fire department on a group of people with a small fire going. Not sure if it was for cooking or just relaxing next to but the firefighters chatted calmly with them and the fire was put out. I stayed a half hour longer and the old lady and the group of people were all still there so I don’t think there was a problem after but who know for sure.

2. I am a slacker when it comes to transcribing my podcasts. I know they help people find your show in searches and such but it can be tedious and you typically need to pay for sites to do it. Occasionally I find free trials to allow me to get an episode or two transcribed but that’s it. So when I found a site that has so far allowed me to transcribe nearly 30 shows for free you bet your ass I’m just shoving the files into that site assembly line style. I’m going to go until they either shut me down or I transcribe them all. If you’re interested the link is here: https://restream.io/tools/transcribe-audio-to-text

3. There is a cemetery located near where my friend Mike and I do our Monday Runday exercise. If we get tired of running around the school track we will sometimes go for a run through that cemetery. What makes this run unique is not the cemetery itself but how the cemetery is laid out. If you run all of the paved routes in and around the cemetery you get a surprise if you are recording your run on a fitness app. It turns out that the cemetery’s lay out is shaped like a hand extending its middle finger. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. Now it is a fun part of some runs because I can share the satellite image afterward and get some laughs.

The cemetery layout I couldn't make up.

4. The vast vast majority of people who come into my day job are great people, like 99%. It is an easy task to work with so many good people who are looking for help getting healthy. That fact makes the bad ones stand out far more. There is one guy I hope is just a memory soon. He’s vaguely racist, vaguely homophobic, and definitely creepy. He looks like a lobotomized Art Carney, with big bulging eyes and a voice that gets really quiet when he wants to say something disturbing. The best part of seeing him is the sight of the door closing behind him as he leaves.

5. A few months ago I wrote about how my recommended videos on Facebook were all hydraulic presses crushing stuff and super hot metal balls being placed on or in different things. It was an odd combo but one that was a self-fulfilling prophecy since I’d keep clicking these videos when they popped up. Well I have an update now. I don’t know how these topics first got suggested to me but currently my Facebook Reels feed is filled with people removing beehives and videos of old super dirty and gross cars getting power-washed. I also have just found out there is apparently a game called PowerWash Simulator where you play as someone who runs a power washing business. I cannot promise you I won’t go watch videos of people playing it.

Yes this is a real game

6. This week we had to move some unused gym equipment into storage at my day job. It had to be hauled outside and put into the back of my boss’ van. I am one that I have always had a sarcastic sense of humor. My Nana used to say we were ‘sharp’ on that side of the family. I try to be quick with witty and funny quips. I might have crossed a line this week though. As I walked through the lobby at work carrying a 100 pound punching bag over my shoulder I remarked to the people who were watching that I was practicing to be a serial killer, I’d already gotten the carrying of the body down. I think(hope) they knew I was joking but if I get a cop knocking on my door asking about unsolved murders I’ll know someone in that lobby took me seriously.

7. I was excited this week to see that Buzzsprout, the site that hosts my podcast, was allowing you to have a transcript of your episodes for free, at least temporarily. As I mentioned earlier, I’m a slacker when it comes to transcripts so I’m taking full advantage. The funny part of this entry is that when you get the transcript, you can go in and edit it naturally. It can divide the transcript up by different speakers which is a cool feature. That being said I host my show by myself so theoretically the AI shouldn’t be detecting any other speakers. All of my transcripts have at least 2 speakers detected with one show having 11. Eleven speakers?! I mean I can do some different voices but really. I had to go into each episode and discard the different speakers feature, but otherwise, it’s been a huge help for me.

8. This is the time of year where I am torn. Not about anything important but about getting my car washed. I have a white car and where I park it gets caked in pollen and other various debris during the spring. I always need to wash it but the issue is spending money at the car wash only to have it covered in filth again by the next morning. I don’t know what a good ratio is. Do I wash it once a week, every other week? Or do I never wash it and let the rain do the job? That’s bad news when we have a dry spell, my car looks like it’s been abandoned in a field for years.

9. I was hanging at the beach one afternoon this week. It was cloudy but you could tell the weather was shifting and the sun was on its way. Once it came out I took a nice walk by the water, soaking in the scenery. Rather than going back to my car I sat at a table near the snack bar area. It’s not open yet and neither are the bathrooms. A few minutes later, a man drove into the parking lot in a Mustang. Not a new one but an early 2000s one that looked beat to hell, including a torn-up and taped sunroof. He parked way far away and walked all the way over just to find out the bathrooms were closed. I was surfing my phone so I hadn’t paid attention until I heard him pull on the door. He then started talking to me about nearby construction and I tried to be polite but really didn’t care. I just wonder why he parked 200 feet away when there were open spots next to the bathrooms, quicker road to disappointment.

10. According to my mother, I have been on a hot streak with my gifts for special occasions over the last few years. For Mother’s Day I had to keep my streak. Months ago my mom mentioned how much she missed her butterfly bush that had been outside of the living room window for years. I filed that away specifically for Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, I have little knowledge of plants. Luckily I went to a local place, Hart Farm in Dennis, where my mom took us kids for years especially to get corn. They directed me to the exact butterfly bush I needed. My gift streak is alive and well.

The butterfly bush I got my mom for mother's day

11. Speaking of Mother’s Day I have been fortunate to have many strong female presences in my life who are mothers. My Nina and Nana, my sisters Kate and Lindsay, my Aunts Kelly, Susan, and Emma. There are also loads of friends. However, nobody can hold a candle to my mother. She has always been my biggest supporter. I feel a lot of the time that I am working hard on chasing my dreams to validate her support. She dealt with a few less-than-stellar men in her life, unfortunately, one is my father. She also went to school full-time at night to become a nurse while also working full-time and raising 5 kids between 8-15 years old. There are many times that I sit and wish I could do more for her but until that time I figure that being a decent responsible person is a fair enough tribute.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #44: Hydraulic Press, Bird’s Nest Hair, Bot Fights, etc.

 

1. Social media learns your interests and crafts your algorithm to show you more of that stuff. I don’t know how it happened but my Facebook Reels suggestions for several weeks have been nothing but a hydraulic press crushing various objects. I’ve seen bowling balls, candles, wood, action figures, and more get flattened. I find it fun and satisfying, and obviously, as I keep watching them the algorithm will keep showing me more but I still don’t know how it started.

2. It was the tale of 2 cute kids at the supermarket one night this week. One little girl, probably 3, was running up and down all of the aisles with her mother trying to keep up with her. I found myself playing traffic cop once, alerting the mother of where her child had gone. The other little girl, probably also 3, was so excited to help her grandmother scan items at the self-checkout that she caused the machine to shut down several times. The attendant had to repeatedly come over to reset the machine. I thought both were cute, the adults watching these kids were not as amused as me though.

3. So often over the last several years I feel in my life that I have totally lost the road. It is as if I am crossing a rickety bridge in the fog and I am not even sure what’s on the other side. I’m just hoping that whatever it is it’s worth moving toward. There are plenty of times I feel I need to stop moving and take a serious look at my surroundings, but then the fear of wasting more time overtakes me and I start sprinting in the darkness. I don’t know if this is how my mid-life crisis is manifesting itself. What I do know is that I’ll keep moving forward until I find whatever I’m chasing or until I collapse.

How life feels at times.

4. A really fun thing to have happen is to pull into a parking space after dark. Then you open your car door to step out and on the ground is a mass of god knows what. Some was liquid, some was mushy, and all of it was gross. To top it off I had to do a kind of ballet dance to get around it. Not sure if I totally missed stepping in it. That was not a good time.

5. On the roads to some beaches on Cape Cod, and I’m sure other places, some signs show you how to proceed if you’re not in a vehicle. They say: Walk Right, Ride Left. That makes sense if you’re going in one direction. What about if you’re going the other way? When you walk right and ride left isn’t it on the opposite side? Doesn’t that make it basically anarchy on these roads? The sign should just say: Walk wherever, ride wherever, as long as you’re not in the middle of the road. These types of thoughts and observations are Exhibit A of why I say my life is like a Seinfeld episode some days.

6. My introversion paid off a bit. I stopped for a few quick things at a convenience store. I grabbed them and immediately went for the self-checkout register located in between a pair of regular registers. This was so I could get in and out without a lot of small talk that I’m not particularly a big fan of. The employee that was working had stepped away momentarily to straighten up one of the aisles. They were so grateful that I could check myself out rather than make them stop their work and come back. I decided to take that win and not say it was because I didn’t want to interact with anyone.

7. At my work there was a fun message I came into one morning. We have an automated away message that is sent to people who text after hours. It just thanks them for the message and states our hours. I walked in with 48 unread messages from one specific number which was alarming at first. I mean who would text us 48 times overnight, right? It turns out that the message that came in was automated, and then we responded with our automated message, which then triggered the same message again from the source. You can see where this is going. It was two bots responding to each other repeatedly. I couldn’t stop laughing once I realized the absurdity of it.

This is how I imagined the bots interacting.

8. Those who used to read the original Initial Impressions blog back in 2010-2012 will remember my attempts to get 5-Hour Energy to sponsor my road trips. I mentioned it numerous times in the old blogs. Now there’s a new version of this energy shot called 5-Hour Energy Sport which I guess is different than the regular because it’s supposed to be a pre-workout. Anyway, I enjoy it but again it has me wondering how to get them to sponsor my road trips. Maybe I’ll keep mentioning them in the video version of this blog. Or maybe I should actually start doing more road trips before I look for a sponsor?

9. In keeping with the feeling lost, Mid-Life Crisis theme I am trying to shake things up with small changes in my life. Switching from Pandora to Spotify for my music app. Quitting Twitter/X and going to Bluesky. Growing my hair out a bit. It’s only been a few days of all of this but it does feel a little new and rejuvenating. I believe a series of smaller tweaks in life can be just as impactful as packing up and moving cross country. I mean I already did that, twice.

10. Speaking of growing hair out my plan is for it to be only slightly longer. When my hair is long it is not straight or curly, it is like a bird’s nest which I hate. I have been routinely shaving my head since 2010. With few exceptions, this has been a weekly occurrence. On the odd occasion when I have grown my hair out people are shocked that I actually have a full head of hair and don’t shave it because I am going bald. Unfortunately now in my late 40s, I can already see after a few weeks of growing it that my hair is far more gray and white than I remembered. I’m not going to dye it though, I might as well age with dignity. Plus I can always just shave it off again in a few months.  

My hair will not be as long as it was here in 2019.