This is a recurring series featuring five poems all written within the same calendar year. They capture a sense of what my life and mind were like at a certain age and show the evolution of my life, mind, and writing style. We return to 2005. I was 27 years old. An important relationship evolved, changed, and ultimately ended during this year. Love, a brief engagement, and a tumble into despair. This all heavily affected my writing.
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Casual
There’s a question I need to ask you.
You have to promise not to answer.
There’s a question I need to ask of you,
when the time comes that I see you next.
You can answer without words if you like,
orange lakes of fire in the sky.
How can I plead my case, when it’s right there in my face?
Show me, how those boots strap so high.
Tell me where your hair got that style.
Tell me why each second goes a mile.
Flesh on flesh harmony for a little while.
There’s a problem I have, but I don’t want you to solve it.
Don’t want attachment, just want satisfaction.
There’s something I need to show you,
you have to promise not to look.
There’s something I need to give you, promise not to give it back.
How does it get so hot, nothing left to cover the spot.
Silence the foreign tongue for a while.
Show me how the low can get me high.
Tell me why I’ve got to find you again.
Show me how my heart can stop when you begin.
How can I walk away, when you know just what to say?
Show me how the cinnamon shimmers like that.
Friction dancing, champagne bottles broken on the floor.
Do we clean it up or let it ride some more?
Quick romancing, mirror filled with eyes at the door.
Tell me how you learned all her lines.
Tell me how someone can change but still stay the same.
There’s a question I need to ask you,
and I know you’ve got the answer.
Show a few tricks, juices flow and mix,
there’s a feeling but it’s let go, it’s all just for kicks.
There’s a question I need to ask of you, how did it last so long?
There’s a place I need to take you, the last line of a song.
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Philosophy
A lot of people these days are living their lives in their own ways. They tell me not to make waves, get in line and accept your fate like an urban slave. I have seen the top of the mountain lying below sea level. I thought I had known emotion in the past, it was just a sneeze to this earthquake of today. It's a shame that when you find paradise not everyone can come with you. When the forest you're in becomes an ocean all you can do is sail through. When familiar words are no longer heard, in whatever form they take I'll remember the meanings are still the same. There are so many leaders you'd like to worship but you've only enough time to serve one. So many roads may lead you away, always remember where you came from.
One life, one love, one path I'm walking on. One heart, one soul, choose wisely when you give them away. One mind, think for yourself, one hope rises above all else. One body, don't abuse it, self-respect, never lose it. Hold on to your faith and the beliefs that you choose. One life, all your own, I don't know what else there is when it's gone. One love, it's always all that matters. All you need is to one time get it right, and love will love you forever.
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What Are You Looking For?
What are you looking for? When you look in my eyes what is it that you want to see? Are you afraid you might see a reflection in me? When I tell you how I love you is that much too much to believe? Even though I don't have much money, what I have I'll give to you. Even though my strength is weakening, I'll scale every wall you want me to. What are you looking for when you look at me? Is it fear we have passed the point of no return with all those signs unseen? Is it the piece of you that is missing, replaced with part of me? All I am is in love with you, all I have is because of you.
What is it that women want? Why is it so hard to put my finger on? I think I find the key to your heart and there you go changing the lock. I feel my heartbeat sounding more like a ticking clock. Playing the waiting game until we both feel the same. Don't I love you right? Don't I help you sleep at night? You are the queen of my small world. Don't I show you you're the only girl, that I could ever give my heart to? What are you hiding from? When love is wrong and loneliness is the prison you call home. What are we fighting for? I laid down my guns and surrendered the moment I saw your face. Some people may call it crazy because they haven't found anything like this love that saved me. It's okay, they see it their way, it's the only way they have a beautiful day. What are you looking for? All you'll ever need is here. Promises are weak, proof happens through the years, when you look up so long from now and I am still here. You won't have to look anymore.
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Wrong Way Home
Don't be afraid when I'm driving the wrong way on the highway. I find the way home my way. Don't shiver in fear if the light disappears. Sometimes I find my way better in the darkness. Don't turn and run if at times life isn't fun. We may have lived a hundred years but we've only just begun.
Don't cry if I don't weep, don't scream if I don't speak.
If some days I seem far away remember I still love you more than words can say. When there are times I can't lay it on the line, wait on me girl 'cause I'll be fine. Only you can wake me from this dream, sleeping but not as lost as I seem. Just making my backwards way, wrong side of the highway, same trip different day.
Don't be afraid if I take my thoughts and run and hide.
Sometimes what I'm keeping should stay inside.
Don't worry if I step to the ledge, check the winds with my finger and think of a backstroke to the ground. Don't think I've gone over the edge, losing the things I wish made me a bigger man, dreaming of the simple wish that the child keeps alive. Driving the wrong side of the highway, looking toward the sky maybe it's the only way. Don't walk if I can't run, don't break down if at times life isn't fun. We may have lived a thousand years before but we've only just begun. If some days I seem so far away, remember I still love you more than words can say. Only you can wake me from this dream, sleeping but not as lost as I seem.
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