Chris Unfiltered: An AI TV Show Based On An Old Blog

While recording the next bonus podcast episode for my Patreon subscribers I laughed at just how wacky and all over the place the blog post from February 2011 was that I was sharing. I joked on that podcast that I might enter all of that text into ChatGPT and have it turned into a television show. That is just what I did. The results? I know I was dying laughing, you be the judge. You'll have to supply your own laugh track but I can share the title card and embed the theme song. Enjoy!

Television Show Episode: "Chris Unfiltered"

Title: Swollen Meatheads and Raspberry-Melon Dreams
Genre: Comedy/Drama
Logline: Chris navigates the chaos of gym culture, personal epiphanies, and unexpected life lessons in a single whirlwind day.

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Act 1: Gym Woes

Chris, a witty and slightly cynical protagonist in his late 30s, starts the day with a trip to his local gym. As he works out, his internal monologue is relentless:

• The "swollen meatheads" grunt through deadlifts, their exaggerated movements resembling primates.
• The "gym rats", as Chris dubs them, parade in club-ready outfits. While aesthetically pleasing, their presence distracts Chris to the point of frustration.

After a failed attempt to focus, Chris decides to leave, his thoughts drifting to two attractive gym-goers walking home. Imagining picking them up, his mind spirals into a darkly comedic fantasy where they rob him of his car and organs. Shaking his head, he drives off, muttering, "My life is not a Skinemax thriller."

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Act 2: Hot Takes and Epiphanies

Later at a coffee shop, Chris sips on a decaf latte, marveling at how less caffeine has somehow given him more energy. He shares his hot take on baseball with the barista:

• "First the Yankees jerk Jeter, now the Cardinals with Pujols? Top five player, hands down."
  The barista nods politely, clearly uninterested, while Chris continues his rant.

Chris then reflects on a recurring dream involving an ex-girlfriend. His best friend, Max, calls it a “sign from the universe.” Chris scoffs but makes a mental note to reach out to her—just in case.

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Act 3: Hiking and Hip Pain

Chris decides to tackle Great Blue Hill, ignoring a nagging pain in his hip. The hike starts strong, but midway up, he pulls something and collapses dramatically. A group of college hikers helps him up, laughing at his "old man" complaints.

While recovering, he imagines Chinless Fat Guy, a caricature from the gym, as the villain in a future novel. He chuckles to himself, thinking, That guy’s a goldmine of comedy.

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Act 4: Car Metaphors and Cheerios

Back home, Chris films a vlog for his small but loyal online following.

• He compares relationships to cars: “If it keeps breaking down, you don’t keep pouring money into it. You get a new car!”
  His subscribers flood the comments with agreement and car-related breakup stories.

Later, Chris rants about Count Chocula’s disappearance from store shelves. “We’ve got Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, but no Count Chocula? Madness!” He holds up a bottle of raspberry-melon Gatorade and concludes: “At least some things still make sense.”

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Final Scene: Unexpected Connection

As Chris winds down for the night, he dreams of his ex again. This time, the dream feels less like a memory and more like a resolution. When he wakes up, he decides to message her, keeping it simple: Hey, just checking in. Hope you’re well.

The episode ends with Chris sitting on his couch, sipping Gatorade, and smiling as her reply comes through.

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Tagline:
“Life’s a mess, but Chris has opinions—and Gatorade—to get him through.”

In My Footsteps: Great Blue Hill - Milton, Mass.

            More than a hill, less than a mountain.  Great Blue Hill is part of the larger Blue Hills Reservation in Milton and Canton, Massachusetts.  It is a perfect hike for those who enjoy hiking but it is also small enough, 635 feet to the top, that anybody can enjoy it.  The name Blue Hills came from the first European explorers who noticed a bluish hue on the slopes of the hills when seen from a distance.

 

However, if hiking does not appeal there is also a Trailside Museum at ground level as well.  This features some cultural and natural history exhibits and also live animals outside.  When I was there I got to see deer, snow owls, hawks, and a playful otter that seemed to do tricks for me while I watched it in its tank.

            The hike up to the top of Great Blue Hill is the main attraction.  The hike begins on trails.  It’s a gradual climb which leads you across a paved road at one point.  That road is not for the average driver, it is for those who are authorized to visit the Blue Hill Observatory and Science Center at the summit.  Those are usually school groups or weather professionals. 

            In the summer the hike is much easier.  Add in some snow and it might get a little trickier.  The climb is never too steep but believe me when you’re trudging through six inches of snow it makes it a little slow going.  If there is a choice definitely choose warmer months for a hike.  There is skiing on Great Blue Hill also if that tickles your fancy.

            If you cannot visit Great Blue Hill when it’s warm there are some advantages.  One thing I noticed was the fact that there were hardly any other people along the way.  I was truly alone with my thoughts surrounded by the beauty of nature.  As you ascend to the summit of Great Blue Hill the scenery is not any different from any other forest walk.  That changes as you approach the top.  Suddenly it gets brighter and through the trees you begin to catch glimpses of the tremendous views awaiting you.

             At the top you can see all around you for miles.  There is a picnic area for use in warmer months.  In winter you can hear the sounds of skiers not too far away.  Though the views from the summit are spectacular there is a way to top that.  Eliot Tower is part of a stone building at the summit that can be climbed to the observation deck.  Built over seventy years ago the view from Eliot Tower is spectacular.  The Boston skyline was my favorite site to see from the tower; it’s difficult to miss.  I braved the snow and an icy floor in the tower for that view and it didn’t disappoint.  I made sure to shoot a video of my time there to whet the appetite of any potential travelers.

            Great Blue Hill has so much to offer.  The Trailside Museum has exhibits and animals, there is skiing in winter, a weather station for potential school trips, and of course the beautiful views from the summit at Eliot Tower.  Summer or winter it really does not matter, anytime is a great time to pay this spot a visit.  Have fun and happy traveling!

In My Footsteps: Great Blue Hill

Great Blue Hill:  Trailside Museum, 1904 Canton Ave (Route 138), Milton.  Take Rt I-93 to exit 2B (Milton, Rt 138 North). Follow the exit ramp to the first set of traffic lights. Go straight through the lights and the parking lot is 0.5 miles ahead on the right. The museum is at the end of the parking lot.

The summit trail in winter.

Friends of the Blue Hills.org

A deer at the Trailside Museum.

Coming up on Eliot Tower at the summit.

View of the Boston skyline from Eliot Tower.

In My Footsteps: Trip 109: Sharon, Massachusetts

In My Footsteps

Christopher Setterlund

Trip 109:  Sharon, Massachusetts

February 17, 2011

            Located just north of one of my favorite spots, Easton, and even sharing one of the sites I am covering, the town of Sharon is very similar but also very different from its neighbor.  I found it fascinating that the town’s name comes from the Sharon Plain in Israel because of the amount of forest that existed on the land. 

Lake Massapoag

            As with several other towns in this area of Massachusetts there is a great mix of historic and natural beauty.  I tried my best to see as much of both as I could but found myself gravitating toward the natural beauty more.  A spot I enjoyed was Lake Massapoag specifically Memorial Park Beach on the north side.  The name comes from the Algonquin word meaning ‘large water.’

There was only one problem and that was the snowpack which made walking down to the water’s edge pretty tough.  I parked across the street and walked in.  I ended up sinking in up to my knees over and over but eventually made it to the water.  The area used to be a minor summer resort due to its proximity but those old summer cottages are now year-round homes.  I can see why the lake is so popular even in the dead of winter.  The views were spectacular.  I would recommend viewing them when it is warmer, or at least when there is less snow.

Collecting sap at Moose Hill

Another beautiful spot to take in is the Moose Hill Wildlife Sanctuary.  Here the snow made the scenery even better.  I walked through some of the trails but I will admit that the heavy snow pack made it slow going.  The 347 acre conservation area sports the 466-foot tall Moose Hill, second in size only to Great Blue Hill in Weymouth between Boston and Providence.  The hillsides also house some rare American chestnut trees which used to be plentiful until a bark fungus nearly exterminated them.  I also got to see some buckets collecting sap from maple trees, a classic New England scene with the snow adding to it.  I highly recommend checking out Moose Hill when the warmer weather arrives, I think I am going to do the same.

As great as Lake Massapoag and Moose Hill were as far as scenery went there was one place very familiar to me that topped them both.  Borderland State Park which straddles the line between Sharon and Easton is a beautiful area that I was really happy to get to see again.  The 1,782 acre Borderland State Park has a Frisbee golf course, gigantic open fields, horseback riding, and the picturesque Leaches Pond. 

The Borderland mansion

The last time I visited Borderland it was spring and all of the flowers and trees were in bloom.  This time it was the dead of winter but that didn’t take away from it.  On this day it was quite warm and there was a lot of melting snow which made the dirt paths muddy.  Still, that was no deterrent for me as I had another chance to check out the crown jewel of Borderland.

The land on which the park stands was purchased by Oakes Ames and his wife Blanche in 1906.  The name ‘Borderland’ was given to the three-story stone mansion built on the grounds in 1910.  The last time I was there when I visited Easton I did not spend as much time at the mansion as I should have; the fact that everything was in bloom sort of distracted me.  This time I was more of a detective checking out every inch possible of the hundred year old home.

How my favorite tree looks in spring.

For those of you unfamiliar with my Easton article the Ames family is perhaps the most well known in that town.  Patriarch Oaks Ames served in the House of Representatives from 1863 to 1873 and was also a key person in the completion of the Union Pacific portion of the United States Transcontinental Railroad.  Ames was asked to take over the Union Pacific section by President Lincoln who was busy with the Civil War.

Ames was also marred in controversy due to his involvement in the Credit Mobilier of America Scandal of 1872.  Ames sold shares of stock in the Credit Mobilier loan company for well below market value which meant that the profit margins were much less than anticipated and in the end many investors as well as Union Pacific were nearly bankrupt.  The Ames Memorial Hall in Easton was built by his children in an attempt to ease some of the hard feelings against their father.

All of that aside the mansion and the rest of the park is magnificent.  On this day I ventured behind the mansion and was able to get a better view of it.  The rolling hill leading away from the mansion was really cool, looking like a perfect spot for sledding.  I was a little disappointed that my favorite tree, I believe it's a dogwood, was not in bloom.  During the previous spring it had some amazing pinkish-purple blossoms that made for a lot of great photos.

Sharon ended up being a perfect companion to neighboring Easton including the fact that they share Borderland State Park.  There are several nature preserves and conservation areas to see that will probably be even better when the snow is only a memory like Moose Hill.  Still, visiting Sharon should not be predicated on time of year, it can be enjoyed anytime.  Have fun and happy traveling!

   My first book, In My Footsteps: A Cape Cod Travel Guide, is now available at SchifferBooks.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Amazon.com, in stores everywhere!  Follow me on Twitter!  For more In My Footsteps items follow the In My Footsteps fan page on Facebook, or visit my homepage at ChristopherSetterlund.com.   Thanks for reading! 

Directions:  Borderland State Park:  From I-495 heading north take Exit 7A for Rt. 24 north.  Take Exit 16B to merge with Rt. 106, follow 5 miles and turn right at Poquanticut Ave.  Turn left at Massapoag Ave, follow 2 miles, park will be on right.

Moose Hill Wildlife Sanctuary:  From I-495 take Exit 13A for I-95 N.  Take Exit 8 for S. Main St. toward Sharon.  Follow 1.2 mi. turn left at Walpole St., turn right at Moose Hill St.  Follow 1.3 miles to headquarters.

References:  Borderland State Park

            Sharon Historical Society.org

            Town of Sharon - Official Site

In My Footsteps: Trip 108: Canton, Massachusetts

In My Footsteps

Christopher Setterlund

Trip 108:  Canton, Massachusetts

February 17, 2011

            Being a huge fan of all things outdoors it surprised me that I had not yet paid a visit to the Blue Hills Reservation.  It is 7,000 acres of amazing views and natural beauty stretching through several different towns.  For my trip I decided to hike up Great Blue Hill which straddles the line between Milton and Canton, the subject of this article.

The otter at the Trailside Museum.

            Great Blue Hill reaches 635 feet up into the sky with the Blue Hills Ski Area on the southern side of the mini-mountain, the Canton side.  I parked at the ski area lot and was immediately sidetracked from my hike up Great Blue Hill by something just as cool.  There is a Trailside Museum run by the Massachusetts Audubon Society at the foot of Great Blue Hill accompanied by a small collection of animals native to the area.

            I was particularly enamored with a pair of white-tailed Deer who were very friendly and came over to the fence to become better photo subjects.  There was also an adorable otter in a circular tank.  It acted relatively normal until it spotted me; then it put on a show by swimming back and forth across the tank making sure to flip upside down to swim once it reached the wall.  I ended up watching it for a while until I realized that there was still a big hike ahead of me.

Boston's skyline from atop Great Blue Hill

            Despite there being a paved road leading up Great Blue Hill to the weather observatory the only way up the hill is by walking.  The scenery was incredible.  It was a weird sort of dichotomy as the temperature on this day hovered near sixty but after a very eventful winter there was a good foot of snow on the ground for the hike.  I was warm and cold all at once.

            Once the climb started getting near the top, much more vertical, I began to get glimpses through the trees of the surrounding landscape.  The stone observatory building at the summit was really neat, the warmth was melting all of the snow on top of the roof and there was the constant sound of water falling.

            There is a tower to climb where the views will blow you away.  The Boston skyline is easily recognizable to the east.  I will not try to name all of the other spots I saw at the summit of Great Blue Hill but it is very likely you will spend a good chunk of time just turning your head side to side to see as much as you can of the surrounding landscape.  It was such a great way to begin my time in Canton.

Brookwood Farm in the shadow of Great Blue Hill.

            Ironically the next spot I visited was made even better by the looming shadow of Great Blue Hill.  The Brookwood Community Farm is another spot that straddles the line between Canton and Milton; it is a working organic farm with amazing scenery as well.  The weather observatory on Great Blue Hill is clearly visible as you walk the grounds of Brookwood and it can distract you a bit from the lush farmland, not that I am complaining.  It gave the farm a different feel.

            The farm is on two different parcels of land.  The one I visited is seventy acres and is on the Blue Hills Reservation.  The other location, a ninety acre farm called the Bradley Estate, is a few minutes south.  Not only does Brookwood sell their produce at the Milton and Roslindale Farmers Markets but anybody can be a volunteer and actually have a hand in creating that very same produce.

            For the history lover in me I made a stop at the David Tilden House at Pequitside Farm.  The red house built in 1725 sits back from Pleasant Street which made for a beautiful scene when coupled with the snow.  Also when you park here you can cross the street and check out Reservoir Pond.  The house is in a bit of disrepair and contributions can be made to help restore it.  It was a little tough getting around the house thanks to the foot of snow but I did get several great photos while trudging through the snow.   

David Tilden House c.1725

            David Tilden was one of the earliest settlers of Canton and the land on which the home stands is the very same tract that Tilden purchased from the Ponkapoag tribe of Native Americans.  The Pequitside Farm is thirty-three acres and owned by the town.  The Colonial Era Main House is available for weddings and other functions.  I imagine it must be an awesome place to have a get together when the weather is warm and the flowers are in bloom.

            The final spot I visited in Canton was something that seemed very much out of place. The Canton Viaduct looks like something straight out of Ancient Rome but in reality it is one of the two oldest multiple arched stone railroad bridges in the United States.  That is a lot of information but all you really need to know is that it is a spectacular site.  I drove under it on Neponset Street to find a better place to park and get a great view. 

The amazing Canton Viaduct

            It literally looks like the aqueducts used in Ancient Rome.  The Viaduct stands out yet somehow fits right in.  It was built in 1835, is over 600 feet in length and crosses over the Canton River.  There are two similar bridges to the Canton Viaduct in Russia and both were designed by a man who had a hand in the Viaduct.  As a side note, the man was George Washington Whistler, his son, James, is the artist who painted the world renowned Whistler’s Mother in 1871.  There is an entirely different article in that fact alone.

            Whether hiking up Great Blue Hill, visiting Brookwood Farm, or standing in amazement next to the Viaduct the town of Canton is a fabulous place to spend the day.  Although it may take longer as Great Blue Hill itself is a day trip.  I highly recommend taking your time to enjoy all of what this small part of Greater Boston has to offer.  Have fun and happy traveling!    

For more In My Footsteps items follow my Twitter Feed, view more photos at the In My Footsteps fan page on Facebook, or visit my homepage at ChristopherSetterlund.com.   Thanks for reading! 

Directions:  Great Blue Hill:  From Rt. 3 take exit 20A to merge onto I-93 S., take exit 2B to merge onto Rt. 138 N.  Parking for Great Blue Hill is 1.4 miles on right.

            Brookwood Farm:  From Rt. 3 take exit 20A to merge onto I-93 S., take exit 2B to merge onto Rt. 138 N.  After a half mile turn right onto Blue Hill River Rd., Brookwood is .4 mi. on right.

            Canton Viaduct:  From Rt. 3 take exit 20A to merge onto I-93 S., take exit 1 to merge onto I-95 S.  Take exit 11A to merge onto Neponset St. toward Canton.  Follow just over 1.5 miles.  The Viaduct will be ahead of you, parking is the difficult part there are areas a short walk away though.

References:  Ski Blue Hills.com

            Blue Hill.org

            Brookwood Community Farm.org

            Canton, Ma. Official Town Page