9/11: 25 Years Later

I remember where I was on Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001. It is hard to believe that we are looking at it as being 25 years ago. I lived through it, and those memories have remained clear and present ever since.

Manhattan is more than 250 miles from where I lived on Cape Cod. There are times when it feels like the other side of the world. On 9/11, it felt like everything I was seeing was happening right outside my door.

I was 23 years old, living with my family in a small house on a small road that ended in a cul-de-sac. It was a mundane morning. I had the day off from work and was sitting in the living room at our big, boxy dial-up internet-connected computer.

The morning consisted of writing an unremarkable email to my friend Barry. Back then I didn’t have a cell phone, so the best way to stay in touch with people was either through a landline phone or via email. I remember I was going to tell him I was going to visit Nickerson State Park in Brewster on my day off.

Despite never finishing that email, I still remember its contents. It was so blissfully ordinary. It was my last memory of the time before. I wish I had kept writing that email and sent it instead of turning off the computer. However, everything happened in a flash.



I remember my mother's frantic screams when she heard the first radio reports in her car. She was in the driveway. I don’t remember if she had just gotten home, or was getting ready to leave. Her screams for us to put on the television inside, I can hear today as I close my eyes.

From those early morning moments, I remained seated on the couch watching. I watched as the towers fell. It felt like watching a big-budget Hollywood film that was playing, but this was real. Everything from the television itself, to the layout of the living room, to the feeling of being hungry yet being frozen where I sat; it’s all still with me today.

I remembered the memories of visiting the Twin Towers when I was in 7th Grade. They all came flooding back as smoke and ash filled the view of Lower Manhattan on 9/11. That had been 10 years earlier, 35 years ago now, on a field trip from Mattacheese Middle School. Ironically, a lot of that trip is burned into my memory as well, but in a far more positive light.

It was my first real trip to New York City. My classmates and I saw the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, and I even bought a bogus ‘gold’ chain off of a street vendor. One of the places we visited was the World Trade Center complex.

Looking up from the ground, the Twin Towers appeared to pierce the sky. I believe time was running short during that field trip, and so we were not able to go all the way up the 110 stories to the observation deck. We got to go inside to the lobby of one of the towers. I was able to go up to the first concourse level and look down. Maybe it was 20-30 feet up; I don’t remember that, but I can see the bustling energy of the people coming in and out still clear as day.

I remember the surreal feeling on 9/11 watching the towers fall, contrasted with the memories of being there years earlier. It was a struggle, knowing they were now only a memory. Things like that don’t happen, at least not on such a scale. It was like I was floating, or falling down an elevator shaft. I remember having that feeling for the next few days.

Being so far away was no comfort. Everything was on the table after watching the towers fall. Sure, in all honesty, I didn’t feel as though a plane was going to come crashing into any place near me, but that was of no comfort. On 9/11, especially in those early hours, you truly had no idea of what might happen next.

I remember my sister Kate, pregnant with my niece Emma (now 24), frantically calling my then-brother-in-law Peter. He was out on a job landscaping, and she told him what was happening and also wanted to make sure he was alright. She told him in so many words that the world as we knew it was coming to an end. It was hard to imagine such a bold and audacious thought being true, but it was.

I remember my niece Kaleigh, all of 2 ½ years old(now 27), staring at us with a mix of concern and curiosity at what was on the television that was causing all of our fear and angst. How do you explain what was happening to a child? I was in my 20s and couldn’t figure out how to explain it to anyone who might ask. My mother eventually brought Kaleigh into her bedroom and even put Barney on for her to watch, a show my mom really didn’t like. I often wonder if she has any memory from that day. Maybe it is more of an underlying feeling that she can’t explain?

Hours wore on, and I sat on that couch. The towers fell, the Pentagon was hit, and a mystery fourth plane had gone down in rural Pennsylvania. Even when all air travel was suspended, it felt as though some new threat was going to begin. I remember feeling physically on edge but mentally tired watching things unfold.

I am an empath; it’s always been a blessing and a curse. On 9/11, my heart and soul ached for the thousands of people in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania affected directly by the attacks. Then I’d think of the families and friends of those lost in the attacks. It was a scale of sadness and loss I’d never imagined.

It was a push and pull between wanting to close my eyes and forcing them to watch. There were a few moments where I wanted to retreat into my bedroom, or take off in my car to try to escape it. There was no escaping it. This was real. This was serious. This was a line of demarcation between one timeline and another.

I remember fearing that if I stopped watching, something else would happen. It was as if I was waiting for a cut scene, like it was a docudrama where they would say, 'that's what the end of days would look like.' Then life would go back to normal, but it didn't. It really never has.

That day on Cape Cod was perfect weather-wise. It was sunny, low humidity, temperatures in the mid-70s. I had planned to visit Nickerson State Park. It would have been a simple day. My Fuji FinePix digital camera, some sort of fast food for lunch which I’d have eaten in the car, and maybe a magazine to read while I sat in the quiet companionship of nature.

Staring out of the living room window at that beautiful late summer day in front of me and contrasting it with the scene of utter horror on the television left me feeling both detached and attached to the situation at the same time. I hoped I would have another day like the one I was meant to have on 9/11 before the towers fell.

By late afternoon it appeared as though the attacks were over. It was an attempt to try to figure out the scope of the damage and also who did it and why. I had skipped lunch but didn’t feel hungry. I still felt the need to venture out to make certain that my world close by was still standing.

The most surreal thing for me was driving around the town of Dennis. Everything in my little corner of the world looked the same, yet I knew everything was different. All of the houses were standing, all of the businesses were open, and there were some cars on the road. It was quieter than expected. Now things do slow down on Cape Cod when Labor Day passes, but I knew that people were glued to their televisions like I had been all day.

I remember feeling so small and insignificant. There was an overwhelming sense of pride, respect, and love for the firefighters and police who were walking into the battle zone when everyone else was running away. I wondered what it took to have that much courage. Perhaps when the situation arises, you just turn off the fear in your brain in the name of duty?

I stepped out for maybe a half-hour in the afternoon. I believe I went to a Subway to get dinner. I don’t remember any conversations I might have had with the people working there, although I am sure we spoke of the tragedy that was unfolding as we stood there.

Once back home, it was a return to sitting frozen still on the couch. I don’t think I left that spot for fourteen hours in total. I was just watching. I was trying to process something that couldn’t be processed. Part of me foolishly still hoped that there would be a disclaimer on the screen that said it was all a hoax. It would be like War of the Worlds on the radio; even as night fell, I clung to that belief.

I remember the next morning being back to business as usual. I returned to work cooking at The Marshside restaurant. It was a slower day since the busy season had ended. Still, I tried to occupy myself with as many tasks as I could.

At some point I found myself standing on the deck with Maui. He was the head chef, and I had known him for 8 years at that point. I remember still having that feeling of falling as we spoke. I don’t know how else to explain it. It was like my body’s empathy for the enormous loss.

The deep blue sky was untouched by the gentle exhaust of aircraft as all air travel was still suspended. I also remember the silence. It felt like there was an overwhelming and deafening silence that surrounded those days. It was as if all of us were quietly trying to wrap our heads around what this all meant.

I remember the names coming out over the next few days. I remember the photos, the interviews, the magazines, the newspapers; I still have them, so I will always remember. There is a box in my mother’s basement that is filled with these things I gathered over the coming weeks.

It became even more real when attending a candlelight vigil a week or so later. It was held in the parking lot of the Patriot Square shopping center in Dennis. I don’t remember how many people were there; it was probably a few hundred. We all needed to be around each other to collectively process and grieve, even though most of us didn’t know each other.

I remember there being a few people there who had come from Ground Zero and had helped in the massive recovery effort. Their words painted the picture of the scale of the devastation. I shook their hands, thanked them for their efforts, and said they were heroes for what they had done. Shaking their hands made me feel a direct connection to New York and Ground Zero.

I remember each anniversary of the day that changed our world. Over the years, many harrowing accounts of survival came out. There were stories of people having near misses. There were more magazines, books, and even movies about the events of 9/11. Amazingly, there were fleeting moments in some of the movies where I felt myself asking if it was all real.

In the 25 years since 9/11, I have never been to Manhattan. I have never been to One World Trade Center, which was opened in 2014 and stands an appropriate 1,776 feet tall. I have never been to the 9/11 Memorial, although many Cape Cod police and fire departments display pieces of debris from the Twin Towers.

As I write this, with the memories of that day filling my head, it’s hard to believe that it has been 25 years now. It's hard to believe some people have grown up not knowing about 9/11. If you're under 25, this event probably hits you like World War II did for my generation. 

Please take a moment to remember. Even if you knew nobody involved, or have never even been to New York, just stop and remember for a moment.

Remember 9/11. Remember those who died in the attacks. Remember those who bravely fought on the hijacked planes. Remember those who ran toward the disaster knowing they might not make it out. Remember the families who lost fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, spouses, and children.

We are all part of one family, the human family; above all else, always remember that. Peace and love.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #134: Overheated, Old Friends Reunion, Substitute Event, etc.

1. Who would have thought that walking over 10 miles in 100-degree heat would have some lingering effects on the body? As you might remember, in last week’s blog I did the walk I just mentioned while waiting for my car to get some work done. I slowly cooked myself over the course of a 3-hour walk. Now, over the weekend things seemed normal. I didn’t have anything to do, so I was sitting around relaxing. As soon as I got back to my day job and actually had to do things, I realized just how wiped out my body was from that walk. I was physically exhausted. If I could have laid down and slept on the floor of the gym, I would have. The best part is that I have to go get a little more work done on my car this week and very likely will do some sort of walk again. Don’t worry though, it won’t totally be like deja vu. It is supposed to be at least a few degrees cooler, with a lower heat index of around 85 instead of 101. I will still bring everything I need, but rather than walking 10 miles will probably go down the street to my friend’s bike shop and bother him until my car is finished.


2. With so many oars in the water when it comes to my life, it can be hard sometimes to know which ones will actually move my boat and which ones are merely decorative. I look at where I am putting my energy and effort and wonder what my return on investment truly is. I have so many projects I am working on. Podcasts, books, events to go along with those books, producing my first feature film, these are all important and satisfying. However, I guess the bottom line for me, and I am sure many of you reading, is to be financially secure. Yes, I have these projects I pour my heart and soul into, but at the end of the day I still need to work a day job to pay my bills to allow me to pursue these projects. In life, you don’t always get obvious answers. I wish it were in black and white which road to take, but it’s not. A lot of life is moving in the direction you think is right and hoping that there isn’t a cliff around the next corner. It is one part exhilarating and one part terrifying to have so many potential options lying ahead of me. Any one of these projects could suddenly blow up into a life-changing career. Then again, none of them could. There is no guarantee, and that is the risk I take. You only get one life. The best you can do is live it to the best of your ability, doing what you believe is right. Still, I wish there was a big flashing neon sign with an arrow pointing me in the right direction. Funny how, even as I near 50, I still look at my life as a puzzle I am still in the process of building. It’s the perfect storm of fear and freedom.


3. It’s funny how certain events remain vivid in your mind, but to others they are forgotten or at best a blur. One such event came up when chatting with my buddy Steve this week. During a trip over to Nantucket in 2014, we ended an amazing day with a stop at Cisco Brewers. I had finished up much of my research for a travel book I was writing about Nantucket, and it felt like the perfect cap on that chapter. We each got a beer. I got an IPA in a plastic cup. At this point, I had, I believe, an iPhone 6. I took a few photos of the bar and surroundings, including one that I thought was artsy, with the beer in the foreground and the Cisco sign above the bar in the background. Since Steve is a skilled photographer who taught me a lot of what I know, I wanted to show him the photo for his approval. I also wanted to actually drink my beer and not just leave it as an ornament on the bar. I turned around to him with the phone, but the hand with the beer hit the raised lip on the edge of the bar. The beer, in turn, spilled everywhere. I did manage to save maybe half of it, but it was a hugely embarrassing moment. People around must have thought I was already ‘three sheets to the wind’ as my Nana used to say. I believe Steve said the photo was good, possibly to make me feel better. The rest of the time at Cisco went off without incident. It still ended up being a great day, but going full circle, that moment with the beer Steve has no recollection of. I told him I think I stored it as trauma, which is why I remember it in vivid detail.

The infamous photo in question

4. I mentioned earlier about all of the projects I have going on. There can be a sense of uncertainty over the path I am currently on. Obviously, there are no guarantees, and anything worth having is worth risking something for. I do often try to look for subtle signs or hints that I am on the right path. I got a good one this week. While driving to work on a beautiful morning, I opened all of my windows and my moonroof to get as much of the sunlight in. I was on the road when, out of nowhere, a ladybug came in through my roof and landed on my right arm. It was surprising, to say the least. I extended my right arm out, and the bug sat there for several seconds while I drove. You can believe whatever you choose, but I know that in many cultures ladybugs are seen as signs of good luck, wealth, and protection. Just as quickly and randomly as it landed on me, it was gone again. If it had only lasted a minute longer, I would have been in a parking lot and could have gotten a photo. Oh well, it made me feel a little more secure about the road I am on.


5. This week I had an event that could have easily gone sideways. The Cape Cod Maritime Museum in Hyannis reached out to me last week. They had an event Thursday of this week, and their speakers had dropped out. They said I came highly recommended and asked if I could step in. I have learned that when it comes to opportunities, you say yes and figure things out later, so that’s what I did. I had one week to craft a totally new presentation. It ended up being what it was like to have a summer vacation on Cape Cod in 1926, a century ago. There was a lot of research and hours spent putting together a suitable presentation and copious notes. Despite being really happy with my work, I knew that there could still be issues. People had ordered tickets for a certain event. What if they didn’t want to keep their tickets to see me? I was cautiously optimistic but still keeping in mind that it might not be as good as I’d hoped. Boy was I wrong. Not only did people keep their tickets, but the event was sold out, with people waiting on standby just in case seats opened. The Maritime Museum holds events in a really neat, rustic downstairs library overlooking the harbor. It was so packed with chairs that I was wedged in a corner behind a podium. In the end, the event turned out to be one of the best I’ve ever been a part of. It went so well that the staff is already setting up a return event for January. I left the museum feeling grateful, validated, and a bit overwhelmed at the support I got.



6. This week was also the second half of the exhaust repairs on my car. For those who didn’t read last week’s blog, I brought my car in to get the loud noises of my exhaust fixed. It turned out there were a lot of leaks and weakened pipes and joints in the exhaust system, thanks to New England winters. It took six hours before I got my car, and even then I was told there was more that needed to be done. Technically, it might have been finished last week, but there was a chance that it might not have been finished by closing time. If so, I would have had to leave my car there over the weekend, which wasn’t going to work. So here we were at part two, deja vu. Again, I dropped the car off and started a long walk on the bike trail. This week the weather was a little cooler and a lot less humid. It made the 9.5 miles I walked feel like a breeze compared to cooking myself over 10 miles last week. It didn’t take as long for my car to be finished. When I got back to the mechanic, he started going over new things that needed to be fixed when they started trying to fix other exhaust issues. In my mind, the dollar amount kept on climbing. My wallet was whining like a scared dog in my pocket. Then I got the bill. After all of the things they did to repair my failing exhaust, it was still several hundred dollars less than I anticipated. My stress level dropped, and I was once again thrilled with the folks at Ormon Automotive in Harwich. I will never bring any car anywhere else for repairs. They are always thorough, fair, and trustworthy. If you find a mechanic where you feel respected and taken care of, you don’t ever let that go. One thing to know, though, their sparkling reputation means that you need to call a week or so ahead to get your vehicle in. Just a heads up.


7. It is always a blessing to get to see old friends of more than 35 years. This week I was lucky enough to not just see one, but three. First was Barry, who I’ve known for forty years. I hadn’t seen him in person in close to three years. His wife, Rachel, is an accomplished author and someone whose dedication to the grind I really respect. She was part of a festival a few towns over, and I was able to go and hang out under their tent for a few hours. It was a fun mix of catching up on life but also chatting and brainstorming ideas as far as promoting and marketing our work. Anytime I can spend more than a few moments with Barry, it’s like the perfect hit of dopamine. It’s all of my beloved childhood memories rushing back. But it’s also a shot of inspiration when looking toward the future. It’s funny because it always seems like we can catch up pretty quickly, but we also both end up admitting to needing to catch up more often. Each time I feel like we’ll actually follow up on that declaration. We’ll see if we do this time.


8. Second was a meeting nearly 35 years in the making. I have known Tim and Hasan since 1989. I actually met them both within weeks of each other. Despite my having seen each of them several times in the last few years, it had been since 8th grade that the three of us were in the same place at the same time. We met by the pool at one of Tim’s motels on a perfect summer afternoon. It was as if time had just skipped from 1992 to that moment and we were right back to being teens. Hasan’s son Elijah, who just turned ten, was a fun ball of energy and has been raised so well by his dad, but I am not surprised. We all sat around and talked about old times, people we hadn’t seen in ages, and a lot about life as guys creeping toward fifty. It was the first time I’d swum in a pool in years. I loved every second of it and didn’t want it to end, but Elijah was getting hungry, so that was the cue. I hope to see Tim once more before he closes up the motels and heads back south. We all did make very early plans for next summer with the possibility of inviting more people. I truly am blessed and lucky for the friends I’ve made in my life.

A summer afternoon by a pool is always good.

9. The show du jour this week for me from Netflix is The Four Seasons. I took a bit of a break from the suspense, supernatural, scarier shows that have made up the majority of my viewing habits. This is a comedy-drama, dramedy? It features Tina Fey, Steve Carell, and Will Forte, among others, as middle-aged couples and their friendships and how they evolve. The show will have a pair of episodes as a season, ie: spring, and when each of the four seasons is done, that’s a season of the show. So far, there are two seasons with eight episodes in each. I love the humor that is also mixed with real-life issues that anyone can relate to. For me, the standout of the show, though, is Colman Domingo, who cracked me up with virtually everything he said. I only knew him from Fear the Walking Dead, so to see him as a funny, sassy, smart-ass gay man made the show even funnier. The best part is that it got picked up for a third season. The only downside is having to wait until some time next year to watch it. Don’t worry though, I have already jumped back into my typical psychological and suspenseful stuff as I just began Glitch. More on that when I finish it.

10. When I was at my peak as a distance runner ten years ago, I had a very low resting heart rate. According to the American Heart Association, the average resting heart rate is somewhere between 60 and 100 beats per minute. 100 beats per minute is in the average zone? That sounds crazy to me. When I was distance training, though, my resting heart rate was routinely right around 40 bpm. When becoming a personal trainer, I remember doing heart rate readings with a partner. Mine popped up at somewhere in the low 40s, and my partner had never seen a heart rate that low and assumed something was wrong with the heart rate monitor. Then I said I was a marathon runner, and it all made sense. Years passed; hip issues made distance running, and sometimes running in general, a memory. My resting heart rate, while still good, in the high 50’s, was nowhere near what it was at my peak. Flash forward to this summer. With better training habits to deal with my hip, I have been able to slowly increase my running distances. As you already saw, I did a 9.5-mile walk this week, and a 10-mile walk last week in the heat. Amazingly, the last six weeks or so of exercise has done wonders for my resting heart rate. When just sitting and watching something on TV, I happened to check my Fitbit. It showed my heart rate at 42 bpm. That’s right in line with my peak as a distance runner. The only thing is I am not a distance runner. In fact, I typically only run a half-mile or so before stopping to do some walking. So what’s up? I think that my body is just remembering how it used to be, and getting back to that lower resting heart rate is muscle memory. My goal now is to continue increasing my running to see if I can drop that resting heart rate into the 30’s, safely, of course.

Sunset at Englewood Beach in West Yarmouth, MA

Say Yes, And Figure It Out Later: An Unexpectedly Wonderful Event

Say yes, and figure it out later. That is a phrase I have heard a lot over the years when it comes to opportunities in life. Typically it refers to a job, but for me it refers to a speaking event.

This week I was part of an event that could have easily gone sideways, and in the back of my mind I figured it would. The Cape Cod Maritime Museum in Hyannis reached out to me last week on Tuesday. They had an event scheduled for Thursday, August 13th. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, their speakers dropped out. One even said something like, ‘I’m old, I just can’t.’ That’s a great way to honor your commitments.

I received an email asking if I could step in on short notice. I wouldn’t be giving the same presentation as the people who bailed, though. I was asked to create something.

I hesitated, but when they said that Don Wilding, who I consider the gold standard of Cape Cod history, recommended me, I was in. I didn’t want to disappoint him, the maritime museum, or the people who had already spent money to buy tickets for the event that night.

So I said yes, but that left me with an issue: I had one week to craft a totally new presentation. They gave me a bit of leeway. The only parameters were that it needed to fit into the Roaring Twenties motif of their lectures during the summer of 2026.

Luckily, a few years ago I had crafted a video about what it was like to have a summer vacation on Cape Cod a century ago. That was for 1923, but it was not that much of a leap to change things up for 1926.

Although I had the subject, I still needed to do a lot of research and spend hours putting together a suitable presentation and copious notes. I needed to make sure the talk included details about specific Cape Cod places from back then, like restaurants, hotels, and events of the time. By the time I was done, I had forty slides in the presentation and 3,000 words worth of notes.

Despite being really happy with my work, I knew that there could still be issues. I felt good about what I would be speaking about, but would it matter? People had ordered tickets for a certain event. Now that it had been changed to something totally different, what if they didn’t want to keep their tickets to see me? What if sales of tickets for my presentation were terrible?

I have written ten books. I have spoken at many dozens of events over the years. Even at my highest of highs, I still get imposter syndrome. It’s that voice in the back of my head that tells me that I don’t deserve good things, or success, or love, or happiness, or whatever. It’s a fear of being found out or exposed even though it's usually totally unfounded.

It was too late by the time August 13th rolled around. I had committed to the event and done the work of creating the presentation. I would not bail like the other people had. I remained cautiously optimistic but still kept hearing in the back of my mind that it might not be as good as I’d hoped.

The drive to the Cape Cod Maritime Museum was a wash of summer traffic and a passing severe thunderstorm. Would the weather play a factor in turnout?

I arrive at my events forty-five minutes early. There was an event at the Cotuit Library years ago where I got stuck in traffic on the way and arrived five minutes before my start time. I walked in, and the people were waiting. It already looked bush league.

Then, on top of being nearly late, the cables to connect my laptop to the projector were malfunctioning. It was a nightmare. In the end, I believe I started speaking fifteen minutes late. I vowed to never let that happen again, and it hasn’t.

The staff at the museum were so grateful to me for stepping up. I had never been inside, so I loved getting a behind the scenes tour. Anybody who enjoys boats, sailing, maritime history, anything like that, I highly recommend visiting.

Naturally, because I was so early, everything was set up in record time with no hiccups. My cautious optimism turned to overjoyed excitement when I got the news. Not only were the pre-sale ticket people coming, but the entire lot of seats was sold out. On top of that, there was a standby list of people waiting just in case seats opened up. That’s right, my event had a waiting list. It was a first-ever for me.

I set up my books on a table and gathered my notes on a clear hard-plastic podium. One by one, staff members came up and thanked me for being there. I admit I felt a little pressure, wanting to be worthy of all of the praise.

Once the setup was done and all of the pleasantries exchanged, all I had to do was wait. The Maritime Museum holds events in a really neat, rustic downstairs library overlooking the harbor. It was so packed with chairs that I was wedged in a corner behind the podium.

While awaiting the people, I looked around. In an interesting twist, the very first book I spotted was one about Gurnet Point in Plymouth. It’s meaningful because my buddy Steve’s family has had a cottage out there for a century. I snapped a photo to send to him later.

That was another interesting shift. I tend to take a few photos or videos before the event to share on social media. On this day I didn’t have time. People began coming down the stairs, and it was showtime.

This was a History on Tap event, so Cape Cod Beer donated some drinks for people to enjoy. I had a nice lemon seltzer. August 13th was my 2,162nd day alcohol-free, with my 6th ‘Soberversary’ coming September 12th.

People filed in with their plastic cups of beer or wine and stared at the title slide for the event. Not wanting to just stand there, I engaged with people sitting nearby. Slowly the seats filled, and voices echoed off the old wooden floors and walls.

I was mic’d up, but only for the recording of the event for the museum and not to be heard over the crowd. Having come up in the restaurant industry, I had learned how to project my voice, so being heard has never been an issue.

As we began, there might have been an empty seat or two, but it was a nearly full house of somewhere between fifty and sixty people. So they had shown up. Now it was up to me to be worthy of their time and money.

Yes, I might have needed to basically read my notes like a script, but I spoke of Olde Cape Cod for forty-five minutes. I loved hearing the sounds people made at each new slide. Some featured old photos and postcards of places they either remembered or had heard about.

When I finished my talk and asked for questions, the applause echoed off the walls. It had gone better than I could have hoped for. The Imposter Syndrome retreated, at least temporarily. I also realized that saying yes to something a bit out of your comfort zone is good. While it is good to keep the worst-case scenario in mind, it also rarely ends up happening.

I answered questions for another twenty minutes, never wanting it to end. After the event unofficially ended, people came up to buy books, thank me for stepping in, and overall wish me well. I felt validated.

I have always been an introvert. Writing books forced my hand into becoming a public speaker. People are usually shocked when I tell them that after an event. Now I have confidence while speaking; it tends to be everything else surrounding the event that gets into my head.

The guests made their way upstairs, or into the next room to see some genuine boat building going on. Soon it was just the three remaining staff members and me. The event had not only drawn in regulars, but it had brought in people they said they’d never seen come to a lecture. I will stay grounded and say it was the interesting topic rather than the interesting speaker.

As things began getting put away, the staff at the museum asked if I’d want to come back and do another presentation. Of course I said yes.

The plan now is to do an event in January. It is likely going to be a return to the Lady of the Dunes murder case that was such a huge part of my life a few years ago. For that one, I will not need to create a whole new presentation.

In the end, the event turned out to be one of the best I’ve ever been a part of. I left the museum feeling grateful, validated, and a bit overwhelmed at the support I got.

Driving along the busy Route 28 as the sun began going down on a warm summer night, I felt the urge to stop somewhere. I chose Englewood Beach in West Yarmouth. It was, and in many ways still is, the spot I most associate with my Nana.

I felt like being in that setting, reveling in such a successful event, and in a small way sharing the good vibes with my Nana. Sure, the stress and worry felt a bit pointless after the fact, but you never assume anything until it’s over.

That’s a little look at what ended up being one of my favorite events of my writing career. It shows that sometimes you just need to say yes and figure it all out after. It also gives me growing confidence that if I do say yes, things will turn out as good as or better than you might expect.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #131: Finding Balance, Traffic Sandwich, Somewhere New, etc.

1. My life over the last few years has been a constant push and pull. I am always caught in between working as much and as hard as I can on creative projects, trying to build a better life, and stopping, relaxing, and trying to appreciate all that I do currently have. I feel as though if I work too much, the important things in life, like family, friends, and enjoying every moment I get on earth, will slip by. On the other hand, I feel as though if I stop and relax too much, the opportunities that are flowing around me like fish in a stream will also get away. This push-pull keeps me motivated and engaged, but it also can get exhausting. I feel like a few times a week I am stopping and asking myself in which direction I am leaning too much. As of this writing, I feel like I am leaning too far into the working side. As soon as I think that, though, I can picture the projects I want to work on or start to work on, and it pulls me back the other way. There has to be a happy medium. I want to find the balance between work and being present for those who truly matter. That is probably the true secret to happiness in life.


2. I wish burning calories was as easy as my Fitbit made it seem this week. Monday Runday was another fun one. 4 total miles on a perfect afternoon weather-wise. I track my runs using both my Fitbit and Map My Run, the running app I’ve been using since 2011. Most of the time, the numbers on both don’t match. Typically, my distance is less on the Fitbit because it tracks distance based on arm movement. If I run relaxed, I don’t swing my arms as much as I’d do when walking. Then again, my calorie burn is typically higher on the Fitbit because it tracks calories based on my heart rate, while the running app does not have that connection. That being said, the difference in calories burned between the two trackers is usually not that far off. This week it was insanity. Map My Run had me at 508 calories after running 4 miles. That’s a good, pretty accurate number. The Fitbit? It had me somehow burning 3,111 calories over the same distance. Yes, 6x as many calories. Obviously this was a glitch. I hope it’s not a sign of an issue with the Fitbit. If you were wondering, yes, I have burned over 3,000 calories in a single run. It was while running a marathon, a full 26.2 miles. During that, I burned over 3,500 calories. Like I said, I wish burning calories was as easy as running 4 miles, at a relatively easy pace, and instantly getting rid of over 3,000 calories.


3. You never know how something you do will affect others. This week I got a comment on Spotify for my podcast. It was from someone who said they found my GenX nostalgia podcast in the last month or so. They have been suffering through a bout of severe depression and said that my podcast is one of the bright spots in their lives. They said they look forward to it each week. It ended with them saying if I ever wonder if my show makes a difference, they wanted me to know that it matters a lot. Being someone who has battled their share of depression throughout my life, I know how important having something that makes you feel ‘normal’ is. I always joke on the show to lean into the things that make you happy, like favorite people, foods, and of course podcasts. I am humbled and grateful that my show actually does help someone feel like they’re escaping their depression even briefly. Things like that comment only strengthen my determination to keep creating the best content I can, whether it’s podcasts, blogs, videos, or books. Ironically, that comment brightened my mood in the way they said my podcast does for them. Of course, here’s the link if you want to listen to my show: In My Footsteps Podcast


4. Heavy rain and summer combine on Cape Cod to make a traffic sandwich. One day this week, a line of heavy thunderstorms rolled through the Cape in the late afternoon. Now, I could have probably looked at the traffic on Google Maps and decided to take a different route, but come on, then I wouldn’t have as much to write about. So I took a longer route that took me past a supermarket with a good selection in their deli. That right there was all it took to tempt me. The trip to the supermarket was fine. Only when I started home on the main road, Route 28, did I realize my error. It was bumper-to-bumper traffic as the skies opened up. A trip that typically takes me roughly 30 minutes took me closer to 55, with the majority of that being after I left the supermarket. Eventually I just had to throw my hands up and accept it. Luckily, I had a good podcast on, so it kept me from going crazy. At least I didn’t have any left-hand turns to try to make; I might still be stuck in traffic as you read this.



5. This week ended up being a huge boost to my confidence. I mentioned the really nice comment about my podcast. When I shared it on social media, I was blown away by the nice comments and messages. I had total strangers telling me that my content has helped them navigate hard times. I had people remark about my outlook on life in general, which I was thrilled to hear. It continued with my boss putting me over for my work as a trainer. The irony was that the only area he felt I needed work on was my confidence. This week is a great help. It concluded with what I will talk about next, but I will just say thank you to everyone who sent nice comments. Those messages make me feel that what I am doing and how I am living are how they should be.


6. The great week continued with a really fun author event at the Dennis Public Library. As per usual, I got there about 45 minutes early. I get there early to make sure that nothing goes wrong in my setup. It stems from an event many years ago at the Cotuit Library. For that event, I got stuck in summer traffic. This had me arriving at the event about 5 minutes before showtime. I walked in, and the room was full, which was great, but I felt it made me look unprofessional for showing up so close to the start. On top of that, once I got set up, there were issues with the projector and the show began late. For every event since that one, I make it a point to get there super early. The funny part is that I haven’t had any issues, so I just end up standing around waiting for people to show up.


7. As for the event itself, it was a great gathering. I enjoy speaking about Cape Cod history in connection to me being a 12th-generation Cape Codder. The sounds of reacting to each of the 12 different stories I shared never gets old. I could have done without one person who interjected themselves into the presentation a little too much, but it wasn’t malicious, so I let it slide. I did have to interrupt a bit to move the presentation along, though. It’s not lost on me that I was, and to a degree still am, an introvert. Being a public speaker and doing it confidently and comfortably is something I have worked at for years. I have another event coming up in the fall, but this was the last for the summer since I need to keep the rest of summer free for things to do with my upcoming film. Thank you to everyone who came out to my Dennis event; it was a lot of fun.



8. The biggest joy of that event was the family element. Not only did my mom and sister Ashley come out, but my cousins Dale and Richard did as well. This was very special. My mom and Dale hadn’t seen each other in close to 40 years since my mom and biological father got divorced in the early 1980s. Dale specifically asked if my mom would go to the event and to tell her because she would want to go. I am sure she and Richard would have come anyway, but my mom’s appearance made it a must-see event. This is where the final piece of my week of building confidence came to a conclusion. Doing a good show in front of family is one thing, but having Dale tell my mom that a big reason she came to the show was to be able to tell my mom face to face how proud she was to be related to me was almost overwhelming. Dale and Richard are my 2nd cousins on my father’s side. I don’t have relationships with many on that side of the family for various reasons. Having family from my paternal side be so supportive and kind and loving is even more important to me at this point in life when I don’t have, or want, a relationship with my biological father. My hope is that it is not a one-time thing and that my mom and Dale, and more of us in the family, can get together for gatherings going forward. If my author event is the conduit to that, then it truly was one of my best.


9. Going to a place I’ve never been to on Cape Cod is increasingly difficult. Sure, technically I could go to some random side road, but that’s not what I mean. This week I bit the bullet and went to check out the Cape Cod Rail Trail extension into Hyannis. This is the furthest western point of the famed bike path, which extends on the eastern end through Wellfleet. What makes it interesting is that it is part of a larger extension. There is probably 1.5 miles or so of new trail in Yarmouth that winds through woods behind Bayberry Hills golf course. It ends at Willow Street, which is a pretty busy road. Then directly across is another roughly 1.5-mile stretch of newly paved trail ending near Independence Park, the back way to the busy business section of Hyannis. The problem is that in the middle there will eventually be a bridge connecting the two sections, but that likely is quite a way away from being put in. I had to drive around to the other end of the trail on Mary Dunn Road. They are beginning to build a parking lot there, but of course it’s also likely to take ages to be finished. Luckily, there is literally one spot to park next to where the parking lot is being built. Since that section of road is really quiet, I knew it would be open, and it was. Having never left my car in that area, I just hoped that it would be there when I got back.


10. The run itself on the trail was sunny, warm, and very hilly. My friend Mike, of Monday Runday fame, told me it was hilly, but I needed to experience it. The trail hugged the highway on one side and the airport on the other, so there was a hum of activity. It was an interesting contrast with the fact that I saw absolutely no other people on the trail. Obviously nobody in their right mind is going to cross the busy Willow Street from the other side, and since I took the only parking spot at the other end, I shouldn’t have been surprised. One thing I found was that this Hyannis stretch of trail has little, if any, shade. Running up hills with no shade made me feel like I had taken a shower in my clothes. In total, it was 3 miles of new trail I ran. This meant that as of that run, I had been on every bit of every bike path on Cape Cod. Of course, 3 miles wasn’t enough for me. I extended my run by going down Mary Dunn Road, past where I parked, and to the backside of the airport. Despite waiting for a few minutes, no planes landed or took off. On the way back, I took a detour to Mary Dunn Pond, a spot I had never seen before. It was serene and filled with wildflowers. All in all, it was a perfect afternoon of new sights and exercise. Yes, I made sure to create a video to capture it and to share.



11. Where I live, there is a little puffball of a bunny that lives inside a bush that envelops the front light. I see it almost daily, especially near dusk when it sits near the bush eating clover and grass. Cute, right? Yes, but also there is a dark side. You see that little puffball is rightfully skittish around anything it perceives as a predator. That includes people. I have never tried to approach it or domesticate it. What the bunny does, though, is take off running when I get near. Most of the time this occurs while I am coming up the walkway to the front door. The bunny will be somewhere in the front bushes. I can’t see it, but it sees me. Rather than hiding and hoping I pass by, it invariably comes charging out of the bushes to get away. You can imagine my surprise when it’s a quiet evening, and suddenly this puffball comes dashing out and scaring the hell out of me. I have taken to jingling my car keys when I come up the walkway to flush it out before it can give me a heart attack. I can see it now: I drop dead in the yard, and I am found with that little bunny sitting on my chest eating grass like a hitman.


12. The past month, maybe 6 weeks, have seen me running more consistently than I have since I had a bad sprain of the left ankle last summer playing basketball. There was a time, especially over the winter, when I felt like running at all was going to be a thing of the past. About 2 months ago, a few things came up that started making positive changes. First was my boss, Dr. Mike, testing out that left ankle and recommending a strap to wear right below my left knee. This would help keep my lower leg stable. After that, one day I was sitting and thinking about the things I did when I was at my peak as a runner. What did I do then that I could bring back now? I started taking more than the recommended dosage of glucosamine, a supplement for joint health. It took a few weeks of the strap and glucosamine, but I started slowly adding running back into my workouts. In the past 2 weeks, I have consistently run 5 miles in under an hour. It’s nothing like what I did at my peak, but it’s slowly getting better each time. I liken this recent return to running to getting back together with an ex. Things feel familiar, but now you have learned the things you can and can’t do. Okay, maybe it’s not quite like that, but I am happy with how things have gone in the last several weeks.


13. While out for a run this week, I saw a guy ‘walking’ his two dogs. One was on a leash, and another was not. Already this guy can’t figure out if he wants to obey leash laws or be a selfish, entitled dog owner. The dog that was off-leash was barely the size of a football, and the one that was leashed was only slightly larger. My opinion is that if you have a dog you can fit in a shoebox or a purse, or could be plucked from the yard by a large bird, then you don’t have a real dog. A real dog should be able to protect you from intruders, not be stuffed into a microwave with room to spare.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #127: Monday Rainday, Business Cards, Relax or Else, etc.

1. Monday Runday was Monday Rainday this week. I will take a little rain over 85 and humid, though every day of the week. It was fitting, though, that after just over 3 miles of circling an old school track in varying intensities of rain, the water stopped. My legs were tired, so I had no plans to run to reach my desired 3 miles. I just had to walk faster and endure the rain. One thing I have been very happy with is the durability of my headphones. I have had the same pair of big red over-ear headphones for going on 8 years. I know that someday they will break and I will need a new pair, but that wasn’t the case on this day. The rain didn’t short them out, although I didn’t risk it, and when the rain got steadier, I took my headphones off and hid them in my shirt. Years ago, at my peak as a runner, I used to enjoy running in all sorts of inclement weather. I’d run in rain, wind, snow, whatever. I guess since I ran all of those races and ran in all of the different types of weather, I have lost the desire to do so again.


2. One day this week, I was training an 87-year-old client. She was brought by her daughter-in-law and also had her 7-year-old granddaughter in tow. I have known them over the years at my work, as the daughter-in-law is a patient at my work. The 7-year-old I have known since she was a toddler, and I give her free rein to come into the gym if I am training someone and she is there. On this day, she was just hanging out while I trained her grandmother. This was after she and I failed to find a rogue cricket that had been calling the gym home. Anyway, I was training her grandmother, and so she grabbed a dry-erase marker and started scribbling on our green dry-erase board. When she left, I saw what she wrote, and it was so sweet and cute that I decided to leave it up there. I won’t erase it, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be erased. The fun coincidence was that her other grandmother was a client of mine in the afternoon. She practically melted when I told her who wrote that sweet message. I won’t leave you in suspense. I did take a photo of it to share.




3. No matter how many speaking events I do for my books, I will always feel blessed and humbled. I am always happy that people, the vast majority total strangers, take time out of their day to come out and hear me speak. That’s why I do my best to make each and every event the best I can possibly do. This week I had an event at the Eldredge Library in Chatham. Despite it being a sunny, 80-degree day in early summer, there were close to 30 people who chose to come inside, sit, and hear me speak about my latest book. In Their Footsteps: The Interesting People, Places, and Events of Cape Cod History features 40 stories from the Cape, all in chronological order. It was a fun event, and I have a few more this summer. Come and see me on July 15th at 5pm at the Snow Library in Orleans, or on July 23rd at 6pm at the Dennis Public Library. They will both be great shows, I promise!

Coming up next!

4. This week marked the 250th episode of the In My Footsteps Podcast, which I have hosted since November 2020. It’s amazing to think that the idea I had once, my brain had cleared after giving up alcohol, would have such staying power. It began as a way to distract myself from the alcohol demons I was fighting off. It was just me talking about all of the subjects I enjoyed. Slowly, it morphed into my favorite thing I do. I actually love the research, planning, recording, and yikes, even the editing of these podcasts. A podcast is easily the best way to keep in contact with your audience. You can speak about anything you want, and I bet you’d find people interested. A lot of it comes down to time. Doing all of the work surrounding the podcast can be time-consuming. If you’ve ever thought of starting your own podcast, all you need is some sort of computer, recording software, a decent microphone, a topic, and the desire to create it. My show is now strictly GenX nostalgia, but that covers a ton of ground. It ends up being nearly anything that has occurred between 1960 and 2005. You can see why I believe that I can easily do another 250 episodes. If you’ve never listened, now is your chance to start. They are fun and breezy at around an hour each. Thank you to those who have listened, and here’s to the next 250 episodes!



5. What do you do with outdated business cards? In 2009, I created my first business card. It featured Chatham Lighthouse and simply described me as an author. This was despite not having any published books or even a blog. For some reason, probably because it was a better deal, I had something like 500 cards printed. They lasted me until 2017. By that time, I had 4 published books, so a change was needed. I bring cards to my speaking events because they are a way that people can possibly keep connected, even if they don’t buy a book. The most recent cards I had made were when I had 6 published books. I now have 10. I am currently in the process of designing new cards that I should have for my next event. The outdated cards are something else. Around the time I redesigned my author cards in 2017, I also created personal trainer cards. I thought I might be able to drum up business for in-home training if I had my own business cards to hand out. I might have had 100 made, and in the 9 years since, have probably handed out less than 20. That means I have a boatload of cards with a photo of me from 2014 promoting something I have no desire to do again currently, that being in-home training. Oh, but wait, there’s more. I also created cards for my podcast. Again, about 100 made. The problem is, since I printed those, I changed not only my podcast logo, but what the show is about in general. So those are even more useless than the training cards. Yay. I have something like 150 useless business cards. I might keep one of each and then send the rest through the shredder at work.


6. Family get-togethers used to be a regular occurrence when I was younger. Now they have become fewer and further apart. Despite having a pretty busy schedule for the most part, I try my best to make time if a family get-together is on the horizon. This week I was able to do so. I went to have dinner with my cousin Patrick, who was still on Cape Cod from Las Vegas. We were at our cousins Richard and Dale’s house. They are our 2nd cousins. It was a wonderful and worthwhile experience. The weather was perfect, so we all ate outside. I sometimes forget that Dale used to run a restaurant on Cape Cod decades ago and is an accomplished cook. She just casually whipped up a Bearnaise sauce, Greek salad with dressing, and fresh whipped cream like it was no big deal. I was tired from a busy day, but didn’t want the dinner to end. At this point in my life, I do realize that you never know when another family moment like that might happen. Even when the sun was starting to go down after 8pm, I stood out in the driveway with Patrick and just talked about anything we could. It was a battle between fatigue and genuinely wanting to stay and chat as long as my body would hold up. I am grateful for these moments today, when, as a kid, they were so common that I felt almost as if I could miss a handful and not miss a thing. Patrick says he might come back to Cape Cod next year, but you never know what happens, so I am glad we got a lot of chances to spend time together during this visit. If you are lucky, you end up with many family members that you would rearrange your day just to spend some time with. I am that type of lucky.




7. Every time I go into a certain local supermarket, if a specific employee is working there, they always say hi to me. Not ‘hi’ like they’re just going through the motions, but saying it like they know me. I see this guy who has to be maybe a few years older than me, going about his job, but nine times out of ten, if I pass by him, he stops and specifically says hello to me. He even occasionally asks how things are going. I am sure he is probably just friendly, and he does the same thing with other customers, but I don’t have any other employee at any other supermarket do that. Part of me wants to stop and ask if we know each other, but I doubt it. He never says my name or asks anything more specific that might make me think we have a history. Believe me, it’s not a bad thing. I’d much rather have someone go out of their way to say hi to me than the alternative. I could only imagine having someone shoot me a dirty look every time I was in their store.


8. When I was at my peak as a runner, probably 2015-2016, I used to run sometimes as much as 40 to 50 miles per week. I definitely had my share of aches, pains, and injuries, yet somehow I kept going year after year. Once I injured my right hip while training for a Top 10 finish in a 5K in 2018, things changed. The injuries tipped the scales, and slowly but surely, my running career faded. I kept trying, but it was an exercise in futility. A few years ago, I made a concerted effort to return to running races. I at least wanted to do one, even if my time was nowhere near what I used to be able to do. I competed in three races between 2024 and 2025. The last race I did, my time was something like 6 minutes better than I expected. My confidence was sky high. Only a few weeks later, I severely sprained my ankle and everything shut down. I haven’t run a race since and haven’t run much at all. In the last month or so, I started wondering if there was anything that I had done when I was at my peak as a runner that I might be able to add back into my life that might help me start running more. Two things came to mind. One was making BCAAs (branched-chain amino acids) part of my daily life. They help muscles recover from strenuous exercise. The other was adding more glucosamine to my supplement regimen. It helps with the lubrication of joints and overall joint health. When I was running 40+ miles a week, I took more than the recommended dose of glucosamine regularly, and my knees and hips always responded well. I figured it was worth a shot to try that again. It takes two weeks or so to get the full effect of any vitamin or supplement into your body, so I didn’t attempt anything before then. I have noticed in the time since I started taking 1.5x the recommended amount of glucosamine that my joints, specifically my knees, feel better than they have in quite a while. This came to a head this weekend when I went for a long walk. It was like my legs were craving running, so I gave in. It wasn’t like it used to be. There were no stretches of sub-7-minute miles. But I did end up running much more than I have in months. There were even points where I thought I should stop and walk, but my body was on autopilot like the old days. I just kept running and focusing on my stride. Only time will tell if this is a significant development in my running life or if it’s my brain tricking my body until something else breaks. Either way, it felt good to be running on a beautiful summer morning on Cape Cod again.


9. It’s amazing how a little dose of the old runner’s high can make a route I’ve gone down hundreds of times feel fresh and new. A favorite running route leads along a river to the beach. It’s through a historic village and is in total just over three miles from my front door to the ocean’s edge. When I was a competitive runner, I’d enjoy the route but be more focused on my pace. Now I can stop and take it all in at times. Little coves, flowers, loads of walkers and riders, historic homes, and ample beachfront views. I figured, why not create a little video of this route? You never know who might get inspired to check it out themselves. You can drive it if you want, but walking or cycling is better.




10. In recent weeks, I have started to try to make Sundays into a day when I don’t do anything major. I make it a day where I sit around and relax. No exercise, no content work, just mindlessly recharging my battery. It’s not that I’ve lost the desire to work hard on my content or enjoy some sort of exercise, but I have found that if I never relax, I feel like I am in a constant state of fatigue to start my new work week. My brain automatically goes to projects I should be working on. I admit I will do some minor work, like posting links to projects on social media. However, more involved things have to be put on the back burner at least for a day. There have been long stretches over the last 5 or so years where I have felt in a state of perpetual burnout. My energy levels crater, and I get agitated at that. A month or so ago, I decided to force myself to sit and relax all Sunday. I did this by binging several episodes of the Netflix series Dark. I felt for so long that if I wasn’t constantly working on something, I’d fall behind whatever imaginary metric there was to show my progress in creative fields. Now I have come to realize that if I don’t take at least a day to fully relax and recharge, it could lead to longer stretches where I just can’t keep that pace up physically or mentally. Not just for me but for anyone, make sure you take some time, some real time, to relax and recharge. It will do you a world of good.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #123: A Classic Story, Birthdays & Graduations, Meteors, etc.

1. It sometimes shocks me to think that I have been a part of social media for 23 years. My first profile was created for Friendster in 2003. We’re closing in on half of my life chronicled online. This is all on Facebook, as nothing original from Friendster or Myspace exists anymore. I check the memories page on Facebook daily. It creates some fun snapshots of different chapters of my life. One rabbit hole that I fell down this week had to do with the last year of my Nana’s life. There wasn’t much of substance relating to her from 2009. However, a specific memory popped up this week. It involved someone hitting my parked car while I was at my Nana’s house. In short, the guy did a U-turn and rear-ended my Jeep, destroying the rear axle. This guy was a weirdo and wanted desperately to go inside and talk to my 85-year-old Nana. Why? To tell his side of the story? It’s like, dude, you hit my parked car, tell me the story, not my grandmother. Anyway, I went way down the rabbit hole of that accident story and turned it into a great blog (I think). It was the last classic story of my life while my Nana was still alive. You can read the blog here: The Final Classic Story From My Nana's Life



2. I was asked to do an author talk about my latest book for this summer at a local library. It was all set up with the date and time. Then the person who reached out to me about the event said the date they agreed to had already been taken. Funny how they offered it and agreed to it, but then went back on that. Okay fine. So I rescheduled. I filled out paperwork to use their conference room, which I’ve never had to do for any event I’ve ever done. Whatever, it was all set. This week, the same person reached out and said they needed to reschedule yet again. No reason given. So I sent in a pair of dates I could do, making this the third different set of dates for a show at this same library. I am not sure if they are incompetent. Maybe they think they can just jerk me around and I will continue to reschedule my talk, which, remind you, they reached out to me for? While I love to do these speaking events and I will be way more flexible than I probably should be, part of me wants them to not be able to accommodate my new dates so I can just tell them to take a hike. We’ll see what happens.


3. After writing the full treatment for a sitcom I am trying to get picked up, I joined a website where people post their shows in the hopes that television companies and execs will see it and possibly want to create it. I am hopeful but not holding my breath since I know that for every person like me, there are probably hundreds of others, many likely with good ideas as well. I want to make the best impression I can, so I shot a video and shared the full details of the proposed show. Any decent profile needs a photo, so obviously, I wanted to put a good face out there. That’s where the hiccups came. No matter what I did, the site kept saying there were issues with my photo. I tried several photos before finally contacting the website. I explained my issue and then also said I could send the photo to them, asking if they could just put it on my profile. Instead, they recommended changing the size, the DPI, and the file format of the photo. Each time it didn’t work, and I reiterated that it might be easier to just send them my photo. Finally, after three times of being given advice that didn’t work, they asked me to send the photo. Gee, thanks for listening. It only took a week and a handful of messages. I don’t think that I missed any opportunities in the week that my profile was up without a photo, but still, would it have taken more than five seconds to plug my photo in? It probably took 1,000 times more effort to write three emails than it would to click and post. Oh well, it’ll be worth it if the show gets picked up.


4. Despite creeping toward 50, I still enjoy playing basketball every now and then. I don’t play competitively; my body can’t handle that. I go to a nearby recreation area where there is a court that is almost always empty. I went this week to shoot around for a while. It was a perfect afternoon. Well, except for one thing. It’s pollen season. Oh boy, did that come into play. Every time I bounced the ball, a puff of yellow dust came up. I made it 15 minutes before I was getting gassed, but I pressed on. I needed to make it to at least half an hour of good cardio. By the time I hit that mark, I was pretty much choking on the pollen. I must have had a cloud of the stuff all around the court like I was Pigpen in Peanuts. My black shirt and shorts were coated in yellow like powdered sugar on a donut. That being said, it ended up being a good shoot around, and I burned over 300 calories. Not too shabby.

Me playing basketball this week.

5. I highly recommend The Burroughs on Netflix. I had been waiting for it since I saw the first trailer a little over a month ago, and it did not disappoint. Without spoiling anything, it is basically like a perfect mixture of Stranger Things and Cocoon. It centers around a retirement community that is a town in the middle of the desert. It stars several big-time actors like Alfred Molina, Bill Pullman, and Geena Davis. She is excellent, and there is a nod to Thelma & Louise in it. It is eight episodes, so an easy binge. Or you can be like me and savor it and only watch one episode per night. Even then, it only lasted a little over a week. It has been really popular on Netflix since debuting, so my hope is that it gets greenlit for a second season because there is a lot of room for more story. Go and check it out if you can.

6. A nightmare scenario almost came true this week. Since Memorial Day Weekend has passed, the beaches have gotten their porta-potties back. There is a beach I like to spend a few minutes at on my way to work most days. I took a little walk and decided to use the facilities before heading back to my car. A few steps from the porta-potty, I spotted what looked like a septic truck entering the parking lot. I figured whoever was driving saw me. Then I heard the beeping of it backing up. It dawned on me that they were there to empty the porta-potty. For a brief moment, I didn’t know what they were going to do. Bust in through the door? Strap the thing to the truck and take off with it? Even if they didn’t see me, I knew they weren’t just going to knock the porta-potty over to empty it. They’d have to open the door, which was locked. I don’t know why I felt this sense of dread while listening to the truck backing up. I stepped out and gave a wave to the driver, and everything was fine. I hope those guys get paid well. I have seen some of the most disgusting porta-potties, and knowing that people have to clean them is just nasty. So yeah, pay the septic people more, they literally deal with shit for a living.


7. This weekend, I was able to see my nephew Landon graduate from high school. It’s an interesting feeling to watch someone you’ve known since they were born taking that step into whatever the next chapter of their life is. I say this time around is interesting because next week marks 30 years since I graduated high school, so my mind has been back in those bygone days of 1996. At times, I feel like I have one foot back in my youth with the other foot trying to keep me moving forward into the future. There are times when I feel confused. How can the younger generation of family be moving on to the ‘real world’ when I feel like I haven’t firmly established myself? Luckily, I am not the only one. Everywhere I look, I find people my age expressing how they don’t feel like they’ve got being an adult down to a science. I kind of long for the days of having a textbook to follow when going through classes in school. Now all you can do is keep walking the path you’re on and hope that you’re going the right way.




8. Pontificating aside, the graduation was a fun family event. The weather was rainy and windy. It held off when we all arrived, but by the time we walked outside, the wind was kicking up, and the rain had started falling. It’s a shock to the system to be standing outside on the last weekend of May with wind chills around 40. A sunny and warm outdoor graduation would have been better, but I’m just glad I was there at all. I didn’t get to see my nephew Liam’s graduation, and my niece Emma’s graduation was during COVID. I did manage to see it from outside the fence at the high school, but it wasn’t the same. I wish we could have had a family cookout after, like we did for my oldest niece, Kaleigh, but just being with a good chunk of family was a pleasure that I don’t get nearly as often as I wish I did. We got some photos before the rain really kicked up to remember the day.


9. Staring down 50 in 18 months, I think, has made my sentimental side take over a lot in my life. I find that there are a lot of achievements, celebrations, graduations, and such that give me mixed emotions. I am happy to see and be around family, but then I end up feeling a bit empty and bittersweet. It’s not anything they do. It is the sad reality that we don’t all get together like we used to. I miss the giant holidays at my grandparents' houses. I miss big cookouts, family reunions, and hangouts just because. As we all go down the roads of our own lives, sometimes they can take us further from each other, even though we might not physically be too far apart. Jobs take up hours, and schedules don’t match. Other obligations can make it so that only when events like achievements, celebrations, and graduations come around can the family find a way to be together. It’s bittersweet because there are only so many of those types of events. If I could, I would have family get-togethers every week until we got so sick of each other that we had to pause them to recharge. Sadly, that isn’t in the cards for me currently. All I can do is check my calendar to see what the next event is that might result in another big family gathering.


10. There was a high wind warning this weekend. It was on the day of my nephew’s graduation. It really picked up in the afternoon with winds gusting 40-50mph. Despite the terrible weather, I needed to head out to the store plus to get gas. I could feel how bad the wind was while driving. It felt like my car was being pushed side to side at times. At this point, it was only in the mid 40s with wind chills dipping near freezing, at the end of May. I stopped for gas and didn’t pay attention to the wind. When I opened my door, the wind took it. The door ended up smashing into a trash can and sending it toppling over. I picked it back up, but it made the person pumping gas next to me look worried. I don’t know if she thought I was mad about gas prices and just karate kicked the garbage over. I figured I’d leave it a mystery rather than explain to her about the wind. She probably wouldn’t have believed me, or freaked out, scared, and taken off.


11. It’s not every day that a meteor comes flying into the Earth’s atmosphere. It’s even rarer when it happens only an hour from where you live. This weekend, we had a meteor rumored to be about three feet in diameter explode through the sky around Boston. The sonic booms were captured by all sorts of cameras. Apparently, the sound could be heard anywhere from Montreal to Delaware. It happened around 2:30 pm, and I was inside, so I have no clue if we could hear it. Reports said it landed in Cape Cod Bay. Not sure if anyone is going to try to find it or not. Plus, there was a rare Blue Moon that same night. So to recap, on the same day in Massachusetts, there were gale-force winds, snow, a meteor, and a blue moon. I love my home.

Radar picking up the exploding meteor(WWLP)

12. My niece Kaleigh celebrated her 27th birthday this weekend. It’s amazing how fast time can go. I fully remember my sister Kate being pregnant with her and having me drive my beat-up old Ford F-150 down the bumpiest roads we could find to try to induce labor. I have vivid memories of moving all of our stuff into a new house with my stepfather, Serpa, on the day Kaleigh was born. He and I were the last to the hospital to meet Kaleigh. I was 21 and had orange-yellow hair, an eyebrow ring, and a hemp necklace. It was the dawning of the full-on quarter-life crisis. I remember those early months being a travel trio with Kate, Kaleigh, and the numerous people who thought she was my daughter. My sister’s reaction was always priceless. I bring these memories up because, for as much as I am not a fan of getting older myself, I can deal with aches and pains and grays because I know I got to spend so much quality time with my nieces and nephews. The bittersweet feeling I tend to get around their milestones as they grow mainly comes from knowing that with each passing day, our roads grow further apart. I don’t have regrets about not spending enough time with them as kids because I actually did. In a world where I have had way too many regrets to count, the time I spent with my nieces and nephews is not one of them. I tend to get very reflective in moments like these. It was a good week for family and a good week to be reflective.