This will be a weekly recurring series featuring 5 poems all written within the same calendar year. They capture a sense of what my life and my mind were like at a certain age. It also will show the evolution of my life, mind, and writing style. This is 1997. I was in my first year of college and was 19 years old.
Black
Black
is emotion, heartless, and cruel
Black
is when the darkness of night rules
Black
is the soul of a wanted man
Black
is the tires on a junkyard van
Black
is emptiness, when there's nowhere to go
Black
is fear before the big show
Black
in your eyes when only hatred remains
Black,
to help block out the pain
Black
is not just a color, it's all rolled into one
It's
looking down the barrel of a loaded gun
In
sickness and health, through pleasure and pain
The
blackness when you shut your eyes, still remains the same
Eye
of A Killer
Shadows
bend and shake under the merciless weight
Playing
the role of murdered souls grasping in vain at the stabbing pain
Cutting
like a knife it pierces your skins nerves
Howling
with pleasure, giving what we deserve
Not
a trace of life to be seen in the terror, of debris and dust now
choking the air
Can
patience and luck come along to save you
Stay
hidden and quiet, it’s the only way to survive
Powerful
jaws to pry open hiding spots like tin cans
Fear,
but respect it, just try to understand
That
only time can heal the wounds that were opened,
by
a killer unseen yet never outspoken
Floating
As I step outside I feel the sun’s rays melt on my face. I’m so happy being alive, being in this place, just as I am now. Peace and love lift my humble wings and carry me above the trees. I don’t ever want to come down, I think I’ll stay as long as I please. Floating on the wings of dreams higher than the clouds. Floating up into the sky never again touching the ground. Floating drifting over the troubles, pain, and sorrow. Keep on soaring higher past today and tomorrow. I can float forever knowing I’m with you.
I wander about, my toes tickled by stardust. Looking to the heavens to thank God I’ve made it at last. No more hurt and suffering, I won’t allow them to return with me to the earth below. I’ll just keep floating away, away until they’re out of sight. Floating, say you’ll stay with me for more than just one night. Floating, let all else drift away as long as I feel all right. Floating, negatives fall, the stars dying in the darkened sky. I’ll live by the light of the positives. Energized and alive, a second chance is what I’ve found in you.
I made it to the Promised Land just in the nick of time.
Joy and hope my friends were waiting for me to arrive.
I’ll never go, I’ll never leave, I love it here, love to just be.
Floating, going to live for now to hell with tomorrow.
Floating, watching the unsaved like meteors burn on impact.
Floating, give faith and caring to the ones most in need.
You’ve got to love, love to just be.
Love to just be, cherish the little things.
Love to just be, no matter what tomorrow brings.
Love to just be, give hope and faith to those you love.
Love to just be.
Open the Door
Face your fears, there’s no way around it.
You can’t keep hiding, waiting for the pain to quit.
Now and only now, can you stop this thing forever.
It’s on your shoulders, up to you, it’s now or never.
A fear that consumes, is a fear that destroys.
It eats at your soul and paralyzes the mind.
Looking for solutions, but they’re so hard to find,
have it your way, peace will be nonexistent.
Could you explain your reasoning, why are you so persistent?
Taken over, possessed by fear, touched by the devil.
Insane yet a genius, sloping mindset, yet still quite level.
When you stop your fight, you end your life.
Fear will cause reactions, to an extent not realized.
Do what must be done to end this battle in your head.
It can happen, it must happen for your own sake,
stand up and fight, or be left for dead.
The pain and suffering will not bring any rewards.
Falling over the edge, what you’re leaning towards?
Why can’t you just see the light that shines bright in your face?
When you run with the devil and cheat on life,
it’s death that wins the race.
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