1. I guess I’ve crossed over
officially into being old. While enjoying a perfect afternoon at the
beach, I couldn’t help but be annoyed at these 4 high school kids.
Maybe it was how loud and obnoxious they were. Maybe it was the fact
that they referred to the geese and seagulls as the N-word repeatedly. Or
it could be that these idiots are so dumb they thought penguins were
at the beach, on Cape Cod. Wow, I’m sure their parents are so proud
of them. I wonder what amazing contributions to the world these 4
foul-mouthed geniuses will make.
2. Something that likely only
interests me. I love the Friday the 13th
franchise. It’s probably my favorite horror series. The random
thing that popped into my head recently has to do with the timeline
of the first 4 films. So the original happens, and Part 2 takes place
5 years later. Simple enough. The weird thing is that parts 2, 3, and
4, all take place within the same week. No big deal. That is until
you see Jason Voorhees unmasked in each one. In Part 2 he’s a
mountain man with long hair and a beard. The next day in Part 3, he’s
bald and clean-shaven with a different freaky face. Then in Part 4, which happens right after Part 3 Jason looks like a wrinkly alien. So
what did he shave and then take a super long bath to get wrinkly? Of
course, I have visual aids.
3. I was playing basketball at
a local park this week. A few hundred feet away a family of probably
6-8 people was having a cookout at one of the grills. All of a sudden
the youngest son, who was probably 2 came wandering over to the court.
His 2 brothers, who looked to be maybe 7 and 9, followed. The littlest
one, I think his name was Nico, wanted to shoot hoops with me. None
of the boys spoke English but it was so cute. Nico only had a diaper
on and he was bouncing the ball and trying to shoot. It was a lot of
fun. It only got funnier when the older boys tried getting Nico back
to eat with the family. He came back twice, waddling the way toddlers
do. Luckily, his sister who was probably 13 came and got him, and she
spoke English. I told her he was no bother. Eventually, I took my ball
and left, knowing that he’d keep running back over if I stayed.
4. Something that is not so
fun is exploding food in the microwave. That’s an obvious
statement. I was heating up a bowl of clam chowder covered in plastic
wrap. With about 30 seconds left in its cooking time, there was a
bang. I could see by the light inside that the bowl was tipped on its
side. This was not good. When I opened the microwave, it looked like I
had taken a can of soup and just heaved it all over. I was able to
save about half of it. The next few minutes consisted of me yelling
and swearing while scooping some chowder up with a paper plate and
pouring it back into the bowl. The rest was soaked up with paper
towels and thrown out. At least the microwave is clean inside, stupid
exploding chowder.
5. I always wear my Fitbit,
except when going to bed. That being said, sometimes I forget I’m
wearing it. This all came to a head after a workout. I put on a long-sleeved windbreaker and headed off to the store. I was still a bit
sweaty after the workout, not to pat myself on the back. Anyway,
instead of wiping my eyes with my right arm I used my left. The long
sleeves made my Fitbit almost invisible. So the end result was me
basically punching myself in the left eye with my Fitbit as I walked
into the store. That’s a good way to make an entrance. Everything
was alright, though I did debate starting to wear eye black under
that eye like Left Eye used to in TLC.
6. Going back to my basketball
escapades. Both of my hips were tight and sore after playing, as they
tend to be. Hey, I’m not 16 and on the school team anymore. Luckily, my boss is a chiropractor, among other skills. I needed an adjustment
badly, even before my work day started. Then I had to demonstrate a
hex bar/trap bar deadlift for a client. For those who don’t know, a
hex bar is a piece of equipment with 6 sides and it allows you to
stand inside of it to make a deadlift easier and safer for your back
and shoulders. It was meant to be a bodyweight lift; the client was
180 lbs, so I loaded the bar. Not wanting him to feel awkward, I
demonstrated the lift first. As soon as I straightened up both hips
and my low back locked. I couldn’t sell pain because the client
would never attempt the lift. I had to wait until the end of the day
with my body trashed for my boss to adjust both of hips. They felt
better almost instantly but I have a few muscles I need to strengthen
if I want to keep playing basketball.
7. On the lighter side of my
basketball shenanigans. To me now in my late 40s, playing basketball
reminds me of when I used to frequent Taco Bell in my early 20s. I
should just leave it at that random comparison, but I’ll explain. I
know when I play basketball now that I am going to have some degree
of soreness and/or pain for the next day or so, but it won’t stop me
from playing again. When I used to go to Taco Bell, I’d eat a lot,
and love it, but let’s just say my stomach was very angry for the
next few days. As soon as it felt better, though, I’d go back to Taco
Bell like I thought maybe this time would be different. So yeah, basketball is like Taco Bell, fits perfectly for my random life.
 |
| Yeah, same thing... |
8. I mentioned that I needed
to strengthen a few muscles to help me in running and basketball. One
is the adductor(groin) muscle. There is a machine at the gym where
you have pads against your inner thighs, and you then bring them
together using whatever resistance you want to develop the adductors.
I was told that since you don’t run, or play basketball seated with
your knees bent, why would you train the adductors that way? My bright
idea at home was to take a thicker loop band, tie it off, and wrap it
around my leg up closer to my hip. Then I would step wide and bring
my feet together, thereby strengthening the adductor muscle. Well, I
got way too into it and began stepping wide, coming together, and
taking another step out. I must have forgotten that a band can only
stretch so far because after a few rounds of this movement, the band
gave way. It snapped and gave me a good slap across the thigh.
Luckily, it was not a little further up because I don’t want to know
how a thick rubber band slapping me in the nuts feels.
9. It’s amazing to look back
almost 5 years when I had a kernel of an idea about creating a
podcast. It honestly began as a way to keep my mind occupied while I
adapted to a new life alcohol-free. All of the research, recording,
and marketing helped to keep my mind of drinking, which had been a
major issue in my life for the preceding few years. Now here I am
about to record my 200th
episode, and I also just passed 25,000 downloads. It’s amazing, and I
am so grateful to everyone who chooses to listen to my Gen-X
nostalgia show. There’s so much still to come but I am very
grateful for all of the support.
10. This
always seems to be the case but there are certain days if I’m out
for a walk that I don’t want to be bothered. I’m not rude, I’ll
smile and nod, but no stopping to chat. These are typically the days
that every person under the sun with a dog is near me. The dogs
always look at me like they’re shocked I don’t want to pet them.
Then there is the opposite. These are the days when I’m all in my
feels and want to pet every dog within a mile radius. Of course, these
days are when any dog I see reacts to me like I'm the dog catcher.
Do they still have dog catchers? I had one such day of each this
week.
