When Teenage Dreams Meet Middle-Aged Reality

Donate to my fundraiser for The Cabin:  https://gofund.me/3f4b435dd

What did you want to be when you were younger? Where did you want to be? Who did you want to be?

I’m not talking about when you were little. I’m not looking at the days when we all wanted to be ninjas or princesses. I am talking about when you became a teenager. Those were the years when things started to crystallize a little better. What was your dream at the time you entered high school?

Flash forward to the present day. Are you that person? Are you where you’d hoped you’d be? Doing what you’d hoped you’d be doing? I hope you are.

For me, my life over the last thirty years has consisted of having one foot in the so-called ‘real world,’ and one foot struggling to keep its footing in those teenage dream years. Maybe you’d say I’ve held on too long to dreams that might never come true. I’d counter with maybe you gave up on your dreams too quickly.

I have always dreamed of working in some sort of creative field. I have had ten books published, have hundreds of blogs, hundreds of videos on YouTube that I have created from scratch, and hundreds of podcasts. Everything has been created by me from beginning to end.

The time between when I graduated high school and the green-lighting of my first book was fifteen years. In those years, I was a stock boy, landscaper, and cook. There were many days that the fire or my creative dreams were reduced to a tiny glowing ember underneath a pile of ash.

I never gave up, though. Even when my life was a mass of turkey clubs and fries, I never stopped dreaming. My hope of someday using my creative brain to make a living kept me from falling down a rabbit hole of despair in my 20s that I probably would never have gotten out of. Sometimes a little hope goes a long way.

Giving up on my teenage dreams has always felt like I’d be slapping my younger self in the face. My dreams of being a writer or a filmmaker in high school carried me through a home life that was chaos on nearly every level.

I had a biological father who couldn’t have cared less about me unless I had money I could give him. I had a stepfather who it felt like had a mission to break my spirit both physically and emotionally. That teenager fought to keep going, so this middle-aged man fights to keep those dreams alive.

You don’t understand how important a little hope is until that’s just about all that you have. Through rejection by my father, I had hope. Through abuse from my stepfather, I had hope. Through depression, breakups, and confusion, I had hope.

What ended up happening is the older I got, I’m talking later 30s, I started to feel that hope turn to something else: purpose. The older I got, being unmarried with no children, the more I started to step back and look at my situation on a macro level. There had to be a reason why I was where I was at that point in my life.

It easily could have morphed into fear and desperation. Oh no, I need a wife, and I need to have kids and settle down before it’s too late. I went the opposite way. I said, the fact that I am almost totally unrestricted must mean something. It gives me freedom to keep pursuing those teenage dreams.

There is an inspirational meme that I have gone back to many times over the last several years. There are two men in tunnels digging with pick axes. Both are slowly digging toward a giant stash of diamonds. One man is mere inches away when he gives up and turns around. The other man, it is theorized, will keep digging and find his fortune. That is my hope.

I am 48 years old. I have been on this road in varying forms for 30 years. Sometimes I stray and get lost in the woods for a bit, but eventually I am back on the road. Heading for what? I don’t know. I have hope.

Later this summer, I am producing my first feature film. It is called The Cabin and is a short story I wrote back in 2008. It is this project that I feel is the full-circle moment. This is where teenage dream and middle-aged reality finally meet.

Back to the digging for diamonds meme I just mentioned. In my life, I crossed a series of imaginary lines that could have been crossroads. I couldn’t play guitar the way I’d hoped. I had no way of making any money writing poetry. I made pennies on each of the ebooks I spent countless hours writing, editing, and self-publishing. I got a book deal and sold a fair amount, but got little in royalties from any of them.

Over the course of fifteen years, I had several exit signs on that road of life. I doubt anyone would have even noticed that I’d silently gotten off the highway to find whatever rundown shack I could and settle in to waste away my remaining decades. But I kept going.

I'd rather explore a rundown shack than live in one.

If music, poetry, my ebooks, or even my traditionally published books didn’t change my life, there had to be something else on the horizon. It is a mix of hope and stubbornness that kept me digging for those diamonds.

The Cabin doesn’t arrive as an opportunity if I leave my dreams behind. Sure, my creative work has only given me modest financial gains, but it has given me something just as important: visibility. All of my work leaves a mighty imprint online. I am easy to find.

The work I did over the years allowed producer Frank Durant to find me. He was looking for someone to write the companion book for his upcoming Lady of the Dunes documentary in 2021. I could have turned it down, but my senses told me it was going to be an important project. It was. In some small way, we helped spur on law enforcement to solve the nearly fifty-year-old cold case of a murdered woman found in the dunes of Provincetown.

That project led to me getting a small role in an indie horror film, Cape Cod Cthulhu, directed by Mark Polonia. That project and meeting gave me an opening. Frank was the one who had initially been interested in The Cabin. We had spoken about it a few times over the course of maybe two years. He mentioned it to Mark as a potential film, and the rest is history.

Again, I believe everything in my life that has happened, or not happened, has led me to this moment. Having a wife and kids, while it would have been a blessing, would have left me unable to just up and go off on an adventure to film this movie later this summer.

If I had looked at my lack of financial gains through my creative endeavors over the years and given up at any point, The Cabin wouldn’t have happened. Hell, I could have given up early and never have even written The Cabin in the first place.

I want to do right by that teenage boy who was dealing with so much shit, but never let it break him. I want to do right by my mother, who always supported me. I want to do right by my family and friends who have proven time and again that they truly believe that I am on the right path, even during the times when I doubt myself.

When I was younger, I had hope. Now I have support. One is you just trying to survive another day. The other is people you care about telling you that you are worth the time. One is solitary. It is teenage angst, telling others I’ll do this on my own, whether you like it or not. The other is a village. It is the cheering crowd during the last mile of a grueling marathon.

At the end of my one marathon I ran.

Of course, hope and support don’t matter if you don’t put the work in. That isn’t a problem. For five years, I have worked a full-time job while also spending 15-20 hours weekly working on various creative projects. Work for your dreams, and they will work for you. I’m all for wishing and manifesting, but I’d rather climb the tree to get an apple rather than stand underneath it hoping one falls.

This summer in 2026 feels like the time when my teenage dream and my midlife reality have hit a perfect intersection. I have built up enough equity through years of hard work with little more than that dream to carry me forward.

Perhaps if I had been offered the chance to produce a feature film when I was fresh out of college, I wouldn’t have appreciated it. I’d have probably been smug and felt like it was all too easy. The fall would have likely been epic after that.

I think I had to go through the grind. I had to go through years of being the proverbial starving artist to fully appreciate a big opportunity when it arose. I won’t lie, there is also a little twinge of desperation. That little belief that I’d better go all out because it might be the only opportunity that I’ve got.

Nothing is for certain. I don’t have any delusions of grandeur. In my mind, The Cabin is a major milestone, but also the beginning of a new road. I foresee a streaming deal, DVD/Blu-ray sales, maybe a small theatrical release on Cape Cod. I don’t see making millions off a low-budget, indie, psychological, suspenseful horror film.

What I do see is that tunnel leading to the diamonds. Maybe The Cabin is the peak of my film career. If I believe that, then it will be no matter what. I have several other stories I’ve written that could easily be made into films. Maybe the screenplay gets me noticed. You’ve got to make the most of every chance you get.

Even if I go no higher than a producer of a small indie horror film, I will still forever be able to say I am a film producer. It’s just like when I ran my only marathon. I can forever say I am a marathon runner.

I want more than that, though. I have hustled way too long to be satisfied with ‘good enough.’ That begs the question. How will I know if I have truly succeeded in chasing that teenage dream? It’s actually very simple.

The day that I wake up and am fully financially supported by my creative endeavors, I will know I made it. I don’t need a 5,000 square foot house on the water. I don’t need a luxury sports car. I don’t need the latest and greatest of everything. I just want to wake up knowing my success has come from my creative mind and does not rely on a person or company that could literally destroy my life in a moment by terminating me.

I don’t need to be rich. I need to feel fulfilled. I don’t need to be better than everyone. I need to feel as good as anyone. Teenage me wouldn’t get it. Middle-aged me does.

Don’t ever give up chasing your dream, whatever it is. That’s the best way I can sum up all of what I have written. I could have thrown my hands up and said 'oh well’ when I failed at 23 with guitar, or failed at 26 with poetry, or failed at 32 with ebooks. By failure, I just mean I didn’t become financially stable.

Maybe I fail at 48 with film producing. Who knows? But I never went into any venture believing I’d fail. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. The Cabin is a culmination, but also a new beginning. It is the moment when a teenage dream meets middle-aged reality. I am ready for the ride, wherever it takes me.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #87: Dumpster Transformer, Memory Full, Surreal Validation, etc.

1. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I’m not a fan of people who have Bluetooth headphones hooked up to their phone and then walk around loudly talking. It is one of the most obnoxious things possible. The only thing that makes these types of events worse is when the person talking loudly has a voice that makes your ears bleed. I heard this woman shouting in the aisles of a supermarket, having a conversation. Her voice was one of those nasally, ditsy, Valley Girl voices. Then I saw her and she looked like a Transformer but instead of being some kind of cool machine, she was a dirty old dumpster that also became a human. I couldn’t unsee, or unhear, that.


2. This week, I got an email reminder that my Audible subscription was renewing in a few days. That sounds like a mundane line until I tell you that I totally had no idea I was paying for an Audible subscription. I had likely been getting these payment reminders all along, but the one thing I wasn’t paying was attention. It turns out that what I thought was a free-tier membership, where I got 1 free credit toward an audiobook per month, was actually $14.95 per month. Oh, and it gets better, or worse for me, as this membership has been going on for nearly 2 years. You can do the math. I immediately canceled the membership so I’m in the clear now, but man, that was like a long, drawn-out setup for a joke that wasn’t funny. Oh well, at least I can keep the audiobooks that I got when I thought I was on a free tier. Wicked smart.


3. Getting older means things that were simple when you were younger can now turn into secret injuries. Several weeks ago, I was walking the beach at low tide with some friends. Not wanting to get my shoes wet, I jumped over a little inlet of water still flowing out. I cleared it and felt accomplished, but knew I’d landed a bit awkwardly on my left leg. Flash forward to this week and my hips and lower back were hurting. While getting adjusted by my boss, I mentioned an exercise I did this week that might have caused the pain. He said the issue was likely something from a little while back and we’d just reached the tipping point. That’s when it clicked. Jumping that little stream turned into me needing my left hip to get adjusted. The problem is my mind still thinks I’m 17, or 27, or 37. I feel like I need to forget everything I knew about fitness and diet, while we’re at it, and learn all new stuff. Or just buy clothes made of bubble wrap so I can safely navigate through life.


4. Speaking of getting older. There are times I feel like I have reached the tipping point with the amount of knowledge my brain can hold. I feel at times like a pitcher filling with water, and now any new info is just water flowing out of the pitcher into the sink. Where I notice it the most is at my training job. I have worked with enough different people there that I now can’t remember every detail about each client. This means equipment they might have at home, specific exercises that we have or haven’t done, things like that. On the other hand, I can still remember in great detail a lot of random music and pop culture items from the 1980s and 1990s. So maybe at this point in life, my brain is prioritizing certain knowledge and memories over others. Yes, that random nugget of wisdom about a random song in 1987 gets saved, but whether a client has an injury doesn’t. I’m kidding, by the way, I would remember injuries, just not my own, as seen in the last post.


5. I am used to there being some sort of ambient noise when I record my podcasts. When the weather is nice I have my window open, which is only a few feet from my desk, where I record. Countless vehicles are going by, and way too many large trucks for the road I live on. This week took the cake as far as noises I will need to edit out of the final product. There was a steady barrage of angry blue jays squawking at each other in the trees just outside. It got so bad that I had to mention it on the show in case people hear them, and I can’t edit them all out. The only way I got them to briefly stop was to find hawk calls on YouTube and play them out my window. Sadly, that only got them to go away for a few minutes before it was angry blue jay party time again. Foolish birds.

6. It’s a strange feeling that the Boston Red Sox are likely going to make the playoffs for the first time since 2021 but I really have no interest in it. In fact, this year feels like the least interest I’ve had in sports in general in my lifetime. I’m not sure why that is. It may be because I am always so busy with work that I just don’t have time to become invested in sports. With the Red Sox, I’ve been off the bandwagon with them ever since they traded Mookie Betts to the Dodgers after the 2019 season. The Bruins, I have no interest in, as I really don’t watch hockey. The Patriots have struggled since Tom Brady left, but I do keep my eyes on them from afar. I think the local team I’ve been most invested in over the last 5 years is the Celtics. Basketball was a sport I played growing up in school, so that makes sense. Part of it is that for nearly 20 years, New England had a string of champions, and now all of the teams are mediocre so I feel like I was spoiled for all of those years. It’s kind of like the 1990s all over again, except I’m way past high school age.


7. Provincetown is the only place on Cape Cod where, when I go there, I feel like a tourist. Maybe it’s because it’s an hour drive so I don’t get out there more than a few times a year? I was up there for a wedding this past weekend and took more photos of the scenery than of the event itself. I love my time in Ptown. It’s sort of like visiting Nantucket but without having to get on a boat. It’s interesting how I think of distance. Like I said, it’s an hour to drive to Provincetown, but I’m still on Cape Cod. In less than an hour in the other direction, I can drive to Plymouth, Bridgewater, Fall River, and nearly to Scituate and the Rhode Island border. Yet, all of those places feel so much farther away when I think about it.

Commercial Street, Provincetown

8. Speaking of that wedding, it was for the son of the Lady of the Dunes and his longtime girlfriend. It felt like the cherry on top, completing my story arc in a wild true crime story. The ceremony was at a church at one end of the narrow, busy Commercial Street, and the reception was at a resort hotel on the other end. Lucky for me, the hotel was right next to a parking lot. On a Saturday afternoon, even on the last weekend of summer, that lot was packed. I felt like I was going to end up having to park a few extra hundred yards away, which would mean I’d need to rush to walk to the reception, which was nearly a mile away. I still drove all the way to the end of the parking lot, which was next to the hotel. I was pleasantly surprised to find one open spot right on the road. It was as if I was meant to be there. Oh, and at the end of my time there, when I went to pay to leave, it turned out I had been parked for 2 hours and 56 minutes. Another 4 minutes would have cost me an extra $3. I guess you could say everything was coming up Milhouse, if you get that Simpsons reference.


9. Beyond the parking victory, the wedding was a validating yet surreal experience. I grew up with the mystery of the Lady of the Dunes. It was a story I knew well. If you had told me when I was young that someday the Lady would be identified, I’d have said that’s great, she and her family deserve the closure. If you had told me that I’d be involved in the case in a small way, I’d have said that sounds like it could be a possibility. If you would have told me that I’d be involved in the resolution of the case, her identity as Ruth Marie Terry, oh and that she had a son, oh and you will meet him, get to know him, he will invite you to his wedding, and tell you that your book about his mother’s case was very meaningful and important to the case’s resolution? (Catches breath) I’d have said it sounds like something I’d have written, but was highly unlikely. Yet there I was, sitting among family and friends, at a small, intimate wedding. It was in the front of my mind the entire time I was there, just how surreal and yet fulfilling and validating the experience was.

The church where the wedding ceremony was held.

10. The only downside to the wedding day in Provincetown was my Fitbit being skimpy on calories burned. I don’t know why but I thought that walking 4 miles throughout the afternoon would have earned me a few hundred extra calories burned for food. Nope, not a single one. I love my Fitbit Charge 6, but at times it feels inconsistent. It will register steps when I am sitting and moving my arm, yet its distance calculator will typically be less than what my running app will say if they are both going at once. It does a lot of calorie calculating based on heart rate. I figured I’d have gotten my heart rate up, especially when hustling a mile to get to the wedding ceremony. Oh well, even if the Fitbit didn’t give them to me, I know I burned enough calories to earn that pumpkin cake square. Yes, that was what I wanted to use the extra calories on.


11. For me, I don’t understand how in this day and age people walk on regular roads with their dogs off leash. I saw two on a walk this week. One got leashed once the owner saw me coming, which I appreciated. The other was actually off-leash while its owner was walking along with another dog that was leashed. I have no idea. When it comes to unleashed dogs, first off, you don’t know if someone is going to be driving poorly, and your dog could wander into the road and get hit. Secondly, there is the fact that your dog could get spooked, or just be a menace, and go running after a person, or someone on a bike. Unleashed dogs are every bit as dangerous as distracted drivers. They’re both unpredictable. I’ve had several experiences on bike trails on a run or ride, and some idiot has their dog unleashed, and it either jumps at me or wanders in front of me. I like dogs, I don’t love dogs. But of course, I’ve said it before in this blog, many dog owners are simply selfish and entitled, and believe your world revolves around their dog.

When Henry Met Henry Film Update

 

Donate here: When Henry Met Henry Film

On location at Coast Guard Beach in Eastham on Cape Cod. Here Henry Beston wrote his seminal work The Outermost House a century ago. Here Henry David Thoreau walked in a journey that became his iconic book, Cape Cod. Frank Durant and I are raising funds to create a short film about a fictional meeting between these two literary giants. Please consider donating through GoFundMe. We plan on commencing filming in late October 2025.

Help Me Bring 'When Henry Met Henry' To Life!

Big news!
I’m partnering with producer Frank Durant and the Eastham Chamber of Commerce to raise funds to create a deeply personal short film called “When Henry Met Henry.” This is a fictional and poetic meeting between two literary giants, Henry David Thoreau and Henry Beston, set along the windswept shores of Cape Cod.
This isn’t just a film. It’s a love letter to Cape Cod, to its wild beauty, its literary soul, and its power to inspire across centuries.


What’s the Film About?
Imagine this:
On a quiet Cape Cod beach, as the tide rolls out and the sun sets, Henry David Thoreau—the philosopher of Walden Pond—meets Henry Beston, author of The Outermost House and poetic guardian of the Cape’s outer beach.
They talk. They reflect. They debate solitude, nature, and the human spirit.
“When Henry Met Henry” imagines this powerful, fictional conversation as a way to explore timeless questions—about our connection to nature, to each other, and the land beneath our feet.


Why This Film Matters
This project blends my lifelong love for Cape Cod, my background as a writer and historian, and my desire to share a story that’s never been told on film.
• It celebrates two literary voices who shaped how we see nature.
• It honors the soul of Cape Cod—past and present.
• It’s my first film as a director, and I’m pouring everything I have into making it meaningful and beautiful.
I believe this story has the power to move people, especially in a time when we’re all craving connection to the earth, to art, and quiet wisdom.


How You Can Help
Even a short, simple film takes resources. Your support will go toward:
• Equipment rental (camera, sound, lighting)
• Paying (3) local actors
• Filming on authentic Cape Cod locations
• Post-production (editing, sound design, music)
• Meals, gas, and basic crew support
Our goal is to raise $3,000, and every donation, big or small, brings us one step closer.


Why Donate?
• You’re supporting a local Cape Cod filmmaker on his first cinematic journey
• You’re helping preserve and promote Cape Cod culture and literary history
• You believe in independent film and authentic, thoughtful storytelling
• You love the work of Thoreau, Beston, or simply love the Cape
• You’ll be part of something heartfelt, artistic, and unique


The short film will not be seen online or have any DVD/Blu-rays available. The Eastham Chamber of Commerce will own the final film and have it among its digital archive for viewing.


On behalf of Frank Durant and the Eastham Chamber of Commerce, we say thank you.
Cape Cod runs in my blood. I’ve spent my life walking these beaches, writing about this land, and honoring its stories.
Now I’m asking for your help to bring this one to the screen.
If you can’t donate, please consider sharing this campaign with anyone who might connect to it.
Let’s bring “When Henry Met Henry” to life together.


With deep gratitude,
Christopher Setterlund

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog: #79 - Stupid Driving, RIP Ozzy, Demon Ducks, etc.

1. Nothing says ‘protect and serve’ like a police SUV driving down a bike trail. Seriously, I was at a bike trail parking lot, and what do I see in my rearview mirror? It was a police vehicle driving slowly down a path for bicycles. It is an unreal level of stupidity. They could have easily injured a rider, a runner, or anyone on the trail. To top it off, the section of trail they felt the need to drive their vehicle on? Yeah, there was a road about 1,000 feet away that they could have driven down instead of the bike trail. What was so important that the cops felt the need to put people at risk like that? Ridiculous.


2. The words icon, legend, and pioneer are thrown around pretty loosely these days. However, they all apply when speaking of Ozzy Osbourne. The Prince of Darkness passed away this week at the age of 76. It is very sad, as it felt like he would live forever because of all of the wild and crazy things he went through in his heyday. He is the godfather of metal. He has dozens of instantly recognizable songs. He even gained legions of younger fans with his now-famous reality show in the 2000s. Ozzy influenced so many people, including ones who didn’t even have anything to do with music. He will be sorely missed, but true legends never die. RIP to the one and only Ozzman.


3. A fun little flashback story to piggyback on what I just wrote about Ozzy. I believe it was 20 years ago. I was in a bowling league. I played on a team that included my stepfather and my now-former brother-in-law. We named our team ‘Crazy Train’ after the Ozzy song. In a fun twist, another team, made up of a lot of friends, named themselves ‘Crazy Frame.’ We used to give them crap about being knock-offs of us. This team of ours also included a few people we didn’t know. There was a husband and wife, and I believe their nephew, who is probably 10 years younger than I. The nephew was a reality show in and of himself. We all had small towels to wipe our balls off, bowling balls that is. The nephew would bring an oversized beach towel, which looked ridiculous. He also would routinely pitch fits when he didn’t bowl well. His aunt and uncle would have to talk to him like he was 6 years old. I am surprised they didn’t offer him a cookie. Anyway, it was a fun year, but it all began with our team name after a classic Ozzy song.


4. The weather at the beginning of this week on Cape Cod was my definition of perfect. Mid-70s, low humidity, some clouds but not enough to hide the sun. It was hard to be inside at all, but once I got off work, I was out for a run or at least a walk. I had debated going to the gym for some weight training, but days like the ones we had don’t happen all the time. After my exercise, I thought about just finding a spot under a tree and soaking in the day. Hunger typically would cut that short. I also figure there will be plenty of days when it’s cloudy and in the 30s or 40s, where I’ll be more than happy to hang out inside the walls of an overcrowded, loud, dirty gym. Well, maybe not happy, more like accepting the lesser of two evils. Until those days though, you can find me on most sunny days carving myself out a slice of the bike trail.


5. I took a walk off the beaten path this week. It was off the bike path. In Brewster, there is a private dirt road that gives you a more scenic route from one part of the trail to a parking lot at a trailhead. I enjoy this route as it gives me a chance to soak in nature. I also have to make sure that I keep my head on a swivel, as there are vehicles every now and then that take this road since there are some houses on it. During this walk, I came face to face with a horrific sight. There, sitting perched on a rock, were 3 terrifying duck demons. They were not happy that I was on their property. I would have ended up as a part of their summer barbecue if I hadn’t thought fast and distracted them with a piece of bread I happened to have in my pocket. It was a terrifying ordeal, but I did manage to capture a photo of the evil creatures before escaping.

They were every bit as terrifying as they look

6. I have always considered myself a very sentimental person. I keep so many things that remind me of special times and special people. Sometimes years go by, and I come across something odd or out of place, and I know it has sentimental meaning, but I just can’t remember what it is. My forgetfulness created such a sentimental moment this week. I try to clear out the clutter on my smartphone to save as much memory as I can. Old voicemails are one thing that I rarely go into and delete. For me, this meant that when I did scroll all the way down to the bottom of my old voicemails, I found several from 2018-19 left by a lost loved one. Brenda was, for all intents and purposes, my aunt. She was a family friend whom I had known for as long as I had been alive. She was there at so many holiday gatherings and other family events. Years ago, when I worked as a cook at a local retirement home, I was pleasantly surprised to find her living there. It gave me a chance to reconnect with her. When she passed a few years ago, it made me even happier that I had those times. When people die, their voices and images can fade. Finding several voicemails from her made me smile with a happy tear. I am glad I never cleaned out those old voicemails.


7. The week definitely ended on a far busier note. I was thrilled to get to go see my old high school classmate, Patrick Hinds, doing his one-man show for his book tour, up in Provincetown. I have seen his show before, but it is still a unique feeling paying money to go see someone you used to see in the hallways at school. He has worked so hard to get to where he is now as a celebrity. There were lots of rough times and bumps in the road before he hit his stride. I have told him that I use him as an inspiration in my own quest to be a self-sustaining content creator. For those who don’t know who he is, among other things, he is the host of two award-winning podcasts. One is all about true crime, True Crime Obsessed. The other is a deep dive into the beloved 80s sitcom The Golden Girls, appropriately called The Golden Girls Deep Dive Podcast.


8. On the subject of Patrick and his show. I mentioned to him that I’d be there, and yes, he was happy, but he was more interested in my bringing my mother to the show. Why? Back in high school, when he worked at Stop & Shop, my mother was his supervisor. He had a rough time, and My mother was very understanding and sympathetic. The fact that he really wanted her to be at the show told me all I needed to know about the positive impact my mother made on him all of those years ago. When we arrived at the venue for the show, it was fitting that Patrick was standing outside, and the first person he saw was my mother. I could tell how much it meant to him that she was there. The fact that she really enjoyed his show was just the icing on the cake.

A D-Y High School reunion after the show

9. By the way, on a side note, I need to remember that Provincetown on the weekends in the summer is a busy place. Parking is at a premium. My idea was to park in this lot, which was a very short walk to the venue. The only problem was that even though we got there way ahead of time, the spots closest to the venue were full. We ended up having to park way in the back and walk nearly the entire length of the parking lot to get out. On the bright side, it made the trip out afterward much easier, but on a muggy Friday evening, every extra step you need to take adds up.


10. Anytime I am in the Provincetown area, I stop at St. Peter’s Cemetery to pay a visit to the grave of Ruth Marie Terry, aka The Lady of the Dunes. As some of you might know, I have a connection to her due to my work on the book that accompanied Frank Durant’s 2022 documentary about the infamous Cape Cod murder mystery. This week also happens to be the anniversary of the day that Ruth’s body was discovered in the remote dunes of Provincetown in 1974. I brought a single pink rose for her grave, and also a single yellow rose for the grave of Susan Perry. She was one of the victims of serial killer Tony Costa. Frank and I found her grave a few years ago, and it was mostly overgrown by grass. We literally tore the grass and dirt up to expose her rectangular stone. After that, I made it a point to leave something on her grave each time I visit Ruth’s grave, as Susan feels like she is a forgotten victim. Also, Tony Costa is buried in an unmarked grave only a few hundred feet away, which is just a shame.
 


11. Speaking of Frank, in a funny twist, I was starting a morning walk when suddenly my music cut out. I immediately thought my headphones had finally died. When I looked at my phone, I saw Frank was calling. We chatted a lot about a project we are going to be working on in the fall. The funny part was that I was still doing my walk while we talked. This meant that I was now that annoying person having a loud conversation in public. Luckily, I was walking through some quiet streets, so I didn’t get too many looks. Also, it meant that I was breathing heavily as I walked. At one point, I had to apologize to Frank for gasping and sounding like I was on death’s door. Finally, I found a spot near a river to pause my walk and just chat. I honestly can’t remember the last time I got a phone call while out for a walk or a run.


12. A motel proudly proclaiming on their sign that they have internet in 2025 is the equivalent of motels in the 1980s saying they have color TVs. It’s like, duh, the internet has been widely available for 30 years, I’d hope your little rinky-dink motel has it. It’s one step above the places that brag about having hair dryers in each room. I guess if a place doesn’t have internet in this day and age, I’d be more worried. Those are the places with the screen door hanging off the office and a guy wearing cut-off denim overalls sitting on a porch whittling a spear out of an old chair leg.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #76: Party Boat, 4th of July, Hairy Observations, etc.

1. While out for a walk on a sunny morning, I stopped at a favorite spot. It is a small dock on Bass River, approximately 1.5 miles from where I live. As luck would have it, a boat was coming down the river, so I waited to get a photo of it at the end of the dock, sort of a perspective shot. This was one of those pontoon party boats, which you can see in the photo. Within seconds of me snapping the photo, the boat got wedged on a sandbar in the river. They must not have been from Cape Cod because those familiar with Bass River know that there is some shoaling in that area. They were going full throttle in reverse, trying to break free of the sand. They got free and went on their way. I didn’t stick around. There was nothing I could do since they all had phones and it didn’t seem so dire that I needed to run for help like Lassie.

The moment before they got stuck

2. Updating my hand injury. It ended up with the back of my hand being a massive bruise for days. For those who don’t know, I got my right hand smashed between 2 steel bars that are a part of a piece of exercise equipment at my day job. Anyway, we’re almost 2 weeks out from the injury, and I can finally attempt to use my right hand to lift things heavier than 3 ounces. The interesting thing is that the better my hand felt, the more the enormous bruise on my hand started looking more like I had done a bad fake tan on it.

3. From the My Life Is A Movie Department. As many of you know, I developed a very close connection to Cape Cod’s infamous Lady of the Dunes murder mystery. I met producer Frank Durant, who created the Lady of the Dunes documentary that helped spur on the case’s resolution after nearly 50 years. I then wrote the book based on the documentary. I still consider it to be my proudest moment of my professional career. Through the resolution of the case, we found out that the titular ‘Lady’ was a real woman named Ruth Marie Terry. Not only that but she had a son. This is where the story becomes even more like a movie. This week I got a letter in the mail addressed to myself ‘and Guest.’ Inside was an invitation to Ruth’s son’s wedding. It is a surreal moment and an unbelievable honor. If you had told me even 5 years ago that not only would I play a very small part in the solution of the Lady of the Dunes case, but that I’d also be going to her son’s wedding, I’d have said you were crazy. But here we are. I might not be exactly where I want to be in my life but one thing is for sure: my life will be a pretty good movie someday.

4. Fourth of July can be fun with gatherings of family and friends, cookouts, and of course, fireworks. They are illegal in Massachusetts but of course, loads of people shoot them off every year. You’d think the drunken yahoos shooting off their boom sticks would be the ones to get injured, and sometimes that’s the case. This year in Mashpee, which is about 20 minutes from me, the town was setting up for a fireworks show later in the evening. So these are ‘professionals’ handling the fireworks. I don’t know what the cause was, but in the late afternoon, nearly the entirety of the cache of fireworks exploded in a massive plume of smoke and color. I know that several people were hurt, but luckily, I think none were life-threatening. The photos of the immediate aftermath are wild. It looked like a bomb had exploded on a golf course. It just goes to show you that accidents can happen whether you’re a supposed pro hired by the town, or some drunk stumbling around their backyard after their 10th Bud Light.

5. It was madness on July 4th. The weather was perfect so I went out for a run. On a favorite route, which is mainly back roads, I must have seen 100-150 people walking, running, or cycling. It felt like I was a part of a road race where I was passing people but also smiling and waving. It always amazes me how overcrowded Cape Cod gets in the summer. It’s like pouring 50 gallons of water into a bucket that holds about 5. In the end, the water gets everywhere and you have to run away to keep dry. Or something like that.

along my favorite running route on july 4th

6. During that same run, I ended up down at the local beaches. The craziness there was off the charts. There is a strip of beach with, I believe, 5 different parking lots down the entirety of the street. The line of cars to get into the first beach was at least 20 cars deep. It was like trying to park at a concert. The big difference was that unbeknownst to the drivers, there was a sign at the entrance saying the lot was full. It was a cluster to end all clusters. Me though, being a runner, was free and easy to go wherever. I thought of it like an episode of Seinfeld. I saw the sign, looked at the growing line of cars, and thought to myself, ‘well, that’s a shame.’

7. A funny observation. For about 14 years, almost straight through, I shaved my head probably weekly. I did it because I didn’t like my hair, plus it helped me stay cool when running. I know I got looks from people when I was super thin and walking around with a bald head. Now I have spent several months growing my hair out. It’s the longest it has been in I don’t know how long. I am getting comfortable with wearing it spiked up. This look gets me looks also. I’m not sure if it is people thinking of how good my hair looks, or if maybe it is people who remembered when I had no hair and are wondering what in the world is going on. Yes, I have a full head of hair. I didn’t shave it because I am going bald.

8. While out for a run on a different day, I had to stop at a porta-potty. It might have been the worst one I had seen yet. It was as if the people who had used it went out of their way to not use the actual toilet. I won’t get too graphic for those who might be eating, but you can imagine the horrors I saw. I felt so bad for anyone else who had to use it, especially women. When I walked out, I was only a few feet away when a woman walked up and went in. She’d have had better luck just going to the bathroom on the sidewalk. It was so awful. Yay tourists!

It really was this bad, sorry

9. I love fire pits. That being said I do feel like I am a magnet for smoke. It seems like no matter where I sit in the circle around the pit, the smoke from the fire finds me. I can change seats, and it doesn’t matter. I end up with a cloud choking the life out of me. So I am a smoke magnet. I’ve heard of guys being called ‘chick magnets,’ I guess I’m the first ‘smoke magnet.’ It does not evoke the same level of cool, however.

10. For as overcrowded as tourists make Cape Cod in the summer, they do pay the price when it comes time to leave. Fourth of July weekend is one of the worst for exit traffic, right up there with Memorial Day and Labor Day. There are two bridges leaving Cape Cod. Unless you’re flying out of the airport in Hyannis, you’re stuck going over one of those bridges. Before 9am on Sunday, traffic was either stopped or slowed down on the Mid-Cape Highway for nearly 35 miles. My goal on those types of days is to go the opposite direction and try to find an empty spot to enjoy a quiet moment, until they all come back the next weekend, that is.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #51: Basketball, Wacky Shopping Trip, Fitbit Blues, etc.

 

1. In a story related to last week’s blog I put my new basketball to use. I haven’t owned a basketball since high school. I haven’t shot a ball period in 2 years and haven’t done any sort of extended shoot-around in almost 10 years. Yet there I was, out in the morning playing for 45 minutes. I went to a local recreation area. It was sunny but below freezing which wasn’t bad once I got moving. The funniest part was just how tired my body was after playing. Just tying my shoes and playing is not possible anymore.

2. Last week I closed down the Lady of the Dunes website I created in support of my book and Frank Durant’s documentary upon which the book is based. She was identified as Ruth Marie Terry and the case is considered closed. Her son has written his own book and has had a documentary released through the Oxygen Network based on his life. He had no idea what had happened to his mother growing up. My thought, and it is agreed on by Frank, is that the Lady of the Dunes story is now her son’s to tell. In a fitting period in the final sentence of this chapter, the day after I took the website down I received a card in the mail. It was from Ruth Marie’s son thanking me for my work on helping his mother get her name back, It came complete with a photo of a bench dedicated to her at the cemetery in her hometown of Whitwell, Tennessee. I couldn’t have written it any better.

Thank you, Ruth Marie Terry and her family.

3. From the Shaking My Head Department. I had a podcast listener message me asking if I’d review a movie on an upcoming show. I politely declined as I don’t really do typical movie reviews on my podcast. I also then reminded him that only a couple of weeks ago he asked me to do a segment on the children’s singer Raffi. The best part? He asked how that segment went. This means he asked me to do a certain subject but then didn’t even listen to the show?! Seriously? I don’t think he’s a troll but that’s definitely a troll-ish move.

4. I don’t get headaches as often as I did when I was younger. In elementary school, I believe I was the only kid to have prescription medication in the nurse’s office. Back then I’d get bad headaches a few times a week or more. I was diagnosed with migraines when I was 2. That being said, every once in a while I’ll get a terrible headache these days. They are likely painful enough that they would lay most people out. For me, it takes something more to put me down. Even the one I had this week, which was pretty bad, just meant that I had to pop a few ibuprofen and keep going with my daily routine. I am definitely glad that I don’t get the clusters of migraines I used to get as a kid though.

5. Cryptic Posts (sort of) Return: I have been having dreams of several different girls from my past over the last few months. It has been four people but no rhyme or reason as to why they are in my dreams. Sure, it is the obvious ‘you miss them’ or ‘you have unfinished business with them,’ and the like. The thing is that each of the four is out of my reach even if I was looking to get together/back together with them. Is it a tease? Is it a test? I don’t know. The good and the bad of having very vivid dreams is that I remember much of them. I’m sure no concrete answer will come as to why just as I am sure that one of the four will likely be in my dreams again this week.

A return of a classic.

6. Amazing to think that I have 1 small payment left to totally pay off my last credit card. I maxed this one out years ago when I was really struggling for money. The card is super high interest so it took me a lot longer to pay it down than it should have. At times it felt like I was never going to make any progress paying down the balance. The irony is now that it will be paid off I want to close the account down but I shouldn’t. It’s not that I want the card for spending, but your credit score actually can go down if you close a card you’ve paid off. How stupid is that? I would think closing a paid-off account would show that you’re responsible. Nope. The credit companies would rather you have cards, even if you don’t use them. Fine. The card will keep collecting dust in my closet if that helps my credit score.

7. A little funny story. My mother gave me her old Fitbit as she said that she couldn’t read the small type on the screen. That’s not the funny part. Once I got it all set up and got the app on my phone I started using it. What I noticed is that it gives me way more steps than I actually take. I think it counts every time my arm moves as a step, even if I am sitting down. I am sure there is something I need to adjust to it. I had to laugh when on a day I was doing a lot of sitting it had me clocked at over 8,000 steps. I mean I am part Italian so maybe I talk with my hands so much that it counts those arm movements as steps?

8. As a followup to that last post the Fitbit band has already broken. Ironically my mother, as well as a client I train, said that they did not like the default Fitbit bands. They ended up buying different ones online. The band isn’t that comfortable but I figured I got it for free so why complain. I put the Fitbit on before heading out to work but also put on my heavy winter coat as it is in the 20s this week on Cape Cod. When I pulled into the work parking lot I noticed that I couldn’t feel the Fitbit around my wrist. The reason why is that the band had broken and the Fitbit had slid up the sleeve of my coat. I have since ordered a replacement band but not from Fitbit. I’ve ordered a more comfortable band now.

9. One trip, 3 foolish encounters. First, on my way to the gym, I got a white bucket stuck under my car. I thought it wasn’t large enough so I could easily pass over it. Nope. I could hear it scraping the road so I found myself intentionally driving into potholes trying to dislodge it. Eventually, this worked. After the gym, I walked to the supermarket at the other end of the parking lot. Inside I saw the funniest fake eyebrows ever. I gasped in shock and had to run away to laugh. It was like this woman took a Sharpie and drew 2 straight lines in the middle of her forehead. Was there nobody around to help her? Or stop her? Finally, on the way back to my car, a man who looked like he was hiding a keg under his shirt remarked about my wearing shorts. I didn’t care enough, and he didn’t look smart enough, to explain how I was at the gym a few doors down. I just smiled and kept walking thinking about how that guy probably looks in the mirror and thinks he has a 6-pack instead of the keg.

Yeah this is pretty close...

10. Interesting to me is when you go to certain websites that you don’t have an account with and you see where the default store location nearest to you is. Usually, they are a good hundred miles from where I am. It’s like you’re close, but not that close. It gets funnier when I’m listening to music streaming on Pandora or Spotify. I created accounts with them, many years ago. Despite that, the ads I get typically are for the New York/New Jersey area. I have no clue why. I mean I’d think even Boston or Providence must have ads through those services, right? Nope, I get very specific ads for New Yorkers. I know more about the New York lottery and city parking than I ever thought I would.

Interview with Film Producer Frank Durant: In My Footsteps Podcast

It is a special bonus podcast and a special video version of the In My Footsteps Podcast. Here we meet up with film producer Frank Durant on his recreation of Henry David Thoreau's famed hike along Cape Cod's outer beach. 

It is filmed on location at Race Point Beach in Provincetown, and Mac's Market & Kitchen in Eastham. 

In this interview, we discuss Frank's connection with Henry David Thoreau, his love of hiking, a retrospective of his work on the famed Lady of the Dunes case, some insight into upcoming projects, and much more! 

To listen to episodes of the In My Footsteps Podcast click here: https://inmyfootstepspodcast.buzzsprout.com/ 

Become A Subscriber to the Podcast on Patreon: patreon.com/InMyFootstepsPodcast 

Purchase a DVD copy of the Lady of the Dunes documentary here: https://www.oldies.com/product-view/1176D.html 

Purchase the new book Searching for the Lady of the Dunes written by 12th Generation Cape Codder Christopher Setterlund at https://theladyofthedunes.com/ 

This video contains some videos and photos used from Canva Pro. 

Intro Music: James River - DJ Williams 

Outro Music: Local Elevator - Kevin Macleod

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog: #41 - Cemetery Music, Foxy Meeting, Expired Foods, etc

1. I finally got around to taking my mini pumpkin out to get some cool, creepy photos and videos for Halloween. I went to an area just off the Cape Cod Rail Trail in Harwich. There is a cemetery that is good for running around as it’s a circular road. I was out at sunset walking through this cemetery looking for photos that spoke to me. I was way over at the far end of the cemetery after the sun went down. As it struck the top of the hour a nearby church started playing music for several minutes. It was a perfectly creepy and surreal moment as I had to walk through the cemetery as the light faded and this music played. I loved it.

2. I have seen foxes a lot living on Cape Cod. They are usually scampering through people's yards or wooded areas typically near dusk. Until this week I’d never seen a full-grown and healthy fox just standing in a beach parking lot. At first, I thought it was sick but it was a perfect specimen, like how you think a fox would look. I debated trying to approach it since it stood maybe 20 feet from my car for a good minute. Once I got done shooting a video though it ran off under a fence.

3. If you walk your dog, and it takes a dump, and you put this in a bag, but then leave the bag on the ground, you are a jerk. If I put my trash in a bag but leave the bag on the side of the road it counts as littering right? Why do these lazy selfish entitled dog owners think that putting their dog crap bags on the ground somehow counts as ‘cleaning up?’ Nobody forced you to get a dog, but you got one, learn how to be a functioning member of the human race.

4. Your reminder to always check expiration dates on the things you buy. I mentioned this in a blog post several months back well it rears its ugly head again. This time it was a 4-pack of ready-to-drink protein shakes. They were on sale (now I know why) and I figured why not save money and have breakfast ready for the next 4 days. If I had checked I’d have seen they were expired by a month. Unfortunately, I didn’t until getting ready to have one for breakfast. Needless to say, I had to skip breakfast that day or else risk whatever illness severely expired food could give me. These supermarkets really need to step it up when it comes to removing expired foods so that idiots like me don’t buy them because it’s on sale.

Do these look expired?

5. A surefire way to become my friend is by begging me several times on social media to take you on a photo trip with me. Not only did I have a strange woman essentially demand that I take her with me on a future trip, but this was the 2^nd time it’s happened. I could understand if you are my friend or even someone I’ve interacted with on social media a few times. For a total stranger to introduce herself by saying ‘you need to take me on a photo trip,’ there has to be a screw loose. No thanks, you can keep stalking my social accounts for now, unless a blocking is needed at some point.

6. My speaking events about my books are always fun. No matter the crowd size I do my best to make the event worth the while of those who come out to see me. Sometimes I end up with unique stories from these events. One I had this week was what I could only call an attempted entrapment. Speaking about my Searching For the Lady of the Dunes true crime novel I mentioned that my opinion about who was involved in the murder of the woman later found to be Ruth Marie Terry differed somewhat from what police say. Police say 1 man, her then-husband Guy Muldavin, killed her. I agree he was a part of it but that he probably had 1 or 2 accomplices. In my book, I mention a few potential accomplices but only 1^st names. A man at my event was hell-bent on getting me to give a definitive statement on who I thought was involved. Seeing as how a few potential accomplices are still alive I’d be a fool to point fingers. I might as well just beg to be sued at that point. Nice try guy, and he didn’t even buy a book so the hell with him.

7. Daylight Savings starts November 3^rd when we ‘fall back.’ On November 2^nd the sun rises at 7:15am. One day this week it was cloudy and rainy in the morning. Even though the sun had technically risen it still looked dark at 7:45am. It reminded me of the time when I took a bus from Las Vegas to Hyannis in 2001. We stopped in the small town of Ogallala, Nebraska. Inside the bus station looked like it was straight out of the 1950s. The fact that it was still dark at 8:15am made me start to think that maybe the bus had crashed and that we were all dead and Ogallala’s bus station was purgatory. My lasting memory of that small town was my Nana’s laughter every time she said the name. That was worth the Twilight Zone episode it felt like.

8. This year Halloween was a fun throwback. No, I didn’t go Trick or Treating, although if I wore a mask and pretended I had a sore throat and couldn’t talk I bet I could still pull it off. I always watch the original Halloween from 1978 with dinner. It’s been a tradition for probably close to 20 years This year I watched it at my mom’s house with my sister, nieces, and nephew which was a lot of fun. The actual Halloween scene was also a fun throwback. At first, there didn’t seem to be too many kids coming to get candy. My sister and my oldest niece were outside handing it out since it was 65 degrees at 6pm. As I was getting ready to leave and go home it was like every kid within a 2-mile radius flooded my mother’s street. It was such a great scene of kids everywhere yelling ‘trick or treat.’ I almost didn’t want to leave but I needed to get home to eat and find a different horror movie to watch.

Halloween was fun.

9. On Halloween morning, well before sunrise, I got my annual creepy photo/video shoot. I had to work early regardless so it wasn’t too out of my way to end up deep in a cemetery at 6:30am. With the sunrise close to 7:15 it was pitch black. I rolled about halfway deep into the cemetery and shot a creepy video of me with my mini pumpkin. It was odd yet perfectly normal for me around Halloween. I had to get to work otherwise I might have shot some more video out there. Don’t get me wrong it was definitely creepy but when it comes to interesting content like photos and videos my dedication to the craft sometimes takes over the normal part of my brain.

10. Birthdays in your 40’s are far different than when you’re a kid. Family and friends aren’t all readily available and without meticulous planning, you likely won’t get to see all of the people you want. That said, you have to try to make each birthday feel special, after all, it is a milestone of making it another year. For me, I filled my birthday this week with everything I liked. Foods I liked, visiting my mother, going for a secluded hike. These things are what I enjoy. No more super late nights of drinking. Low-key and fun is what I seek out in life in general. Here's to good things ahead in my 47th trip around the sun!

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #40: Frozen Mouse, It Was Our Destiny, Bees Like My Car, etc

 

1. Before opening a new document to begin this week’s blog I spent several minutes trying to diagnose what was wrong with my wireless computer mouse. It had the green light on so I knew it was working. On-Off, On-Off with the power switch, nothing. Finally being super smart I looked and realized the adapter was not in the USB port, it was on an end table. This blog begins with that foolishness, hopefully, it will get better.

2. In what was a fun adventure I went out to Race Point Beach in Provincetown this week. I was meeting my friend Frank who is a film producer and his friend Bryan. They were replicating part of Henry David Thoreau’s hike along Cape Cod’s outer beach. We were meant to hike the final 2+ miles out to Race Point Lighthouse together only that didn’t happen. After they had hiked about 7 miles their bodies gave out. I got a call from Frank and had to drive to where they had crossed from the beach to the main road and pick them up. We plan to finish the hike in March.

3. Skipping out on the hike to the lighthouse freed us up to do something else. As we have done many times before we paid a visit to St. Peter’s Cemetery in Provincetown. Here is where Ruth Marie Terry, aka the Lady of the Dunes, is buried. In what could only be described as a wild coincidence we happened to arrive at the cemetery as they were having a ceremony for the unveiling of a new marker. Ruth Marie’s son was there and I got to finally meet him. In a fun twist, he is writing a book about his experience and he said that Frank and I walking up during the ceremony was the perfect ending to his book. For those who have no idea, Frank produced the Lady of the Dunes documentary that helped spur law enforcement to finally solve the nearly 50-year-old cold case. It was a full-circle moment that wouldn’t have been possible if the original hike hadn’t fallen through.

The new marker for Ruth Marie Terry

4. Hey, what kind of idiot gets a sunburn in late October? This guy. So I guess being out in the bright sun for 5 straight hours with no sunscreen is not good, even in mid-Autumn. I honestly thought once the calendar flipped to October that sunburns would be on hold until summer returned. Only when I got home and looked in the mirror did I see how red I was. So there, you can get sunburned in October. The more you know.

5. LED headlights on vehicles should be outlawed. I bet that in 5 years we’re going to have loads of people with vision issues from having to stare into these terrible inventions coming at you on the road. It’s like either make them illegal or make it legal to coat your windshield with an extra tint so you can drive at night and not feel like you’re staring into the sun.

6. I am now in the ‘do a big overhead stretch and pop a rib out’ stage of my life. I stepped out of my care at work in the morning did a big stretch and breathed in the fall air. It was a great moment until I felt a pop and immediate pain. What felt like an ice pick under my left shoulder blade turned out to be not 1, but 3 ribs out. Luckily my boss is a chiropractor among other things and he was able to adjust me and get those ribs back in. Getting older is not my favorite thing.

Me in a few weeks trying to train someone after more of my body explodes.

7. Having to ‘prove I am human’ on the ChatGPT website is an irony that is not lost on me. I guess it’s to make sure that AI is not conspiring together to end the human race. Of course, that’s what AI would want you to think, that you’re protected.

8. An interesting phenomenon that has been happening to me recently is that a collection of yellow jackets has started hanging out on my car at work. I am thinking it is due to pollen or other goodies being dropped onto my car from the trees I park under. Typically there are a dozen or so walking all over my hood and windshield. The other day once I was in my car I shot a video of one of these bees walking on the windshield and it was then that I got such a cool closeup video and it looked like the bee was licking the windshield. Also when I start my car and leave I don’t use my windshield wipers or anything to kill them. I drive until the wind blows them off. The last time I had the bee experience one of them hung onto my windshield for close to a mile while I was driving, most impressive.

Objects might appear larger than they are.

9. In a shocking admission I am not a fan of people who drive fast and don’t pay attention in a parking lot. I know, it’s crazy. You’d be amazed at how many times I see people flying through a parking lot, driving diagonal through parking lanes, looking at their phones. One night this week a woman nearly ran me down. I didn’t dart out in front of her but I was slowly walking. Luckily I kept my eyes on her because she didn’t stop. She had this look on her face like I had jumped in front of her on the highway. I might have shared a few 4-letter words as she passed.

10. As my birthday grows closer and I drift into my late 40’s I feel like a saying I heard somewhere is getting truer each day. As you get older you have to work twice as hard to get half as far. 10 years ago the thought of redesigning my diet and training regimen would have been easy, or totally unnecessary. However staring that prospect down now is daunting, and very necessary. It’s a weird feeling to see yourself slipping backward. It’s like I know exactly what to do and have the tools to do it but there is some sort of a disconnect. It’ll be a battle but I’ll figure my way through it.