Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #135: A Big Success, Glitter Face, Pack An Extra Chin, etc.

1. I was so grateful and a bit overwhelmed to see the budget goals for my feature film debut, The Cabin, get met through GoFundMe. I wanted to say ‘we’ did it, but in all honesty it was my family, friends, and total strangers that came through. In the end, I kicked in a little to get us over the hump, but the vast majority was from others. In a fun twist, one of the locations we’re going to shoot at is now going to be ours free of charge. Yes, that means our budget has dropped, which is a good problem. I said if, after everything, there is a little money left, I will just absorb it back into my bank account. However, with the budget set comes the actual action. I am thankful but also feel a bit of good pressure to help to make a film worthy of all of those who have shown their support. In the back of my mind, I had a fear that the fundraiser would be a bust and I’d have to cough up thousands of dollars to make my dream come true. I would have done it, but I am so much happier that I don’t. There will be so much more to come in terms of updates about The Cabin. For now, all I can say is thank you to those who donated to the fundraiser. Your support means the world to me.




2. In life, you need to try to learn to not get too high on good days and not too low on bad ones. I say that because after a string of amazing days, capped off by reaching the budget goal on The Cabin, I had a cold slap of reality in the face. Nothing will dull your good vibes quicker than a text from your bank saying there was an attempted fraudulent purchase on your debit card. I went from a peaceful, easy feeling to sitting in the sad cafe, sorry that was a couple of Eagles puns. Luckily, I am so regimented and boring with what I spend money on that my bank instantly caught it. Some ass hat tried to charge $350 for some crap but got foiled. So I didn’t lose any money but had to immediately cancel my debit card. Next is the process of getting a new one sent, which could take until the middle of next week. I am working on getting a digital card and finally starting to use Apple Pay through my phone. The only issue with that is that I am forced to have a passcode on my phone to protect that debit card. That’s right, I have had my phone without a passcode for years. It is never far from me, so I never felt the need. On one hand, I am so pissed that some scumbag tried to get my money. Get a job, you waste of human life. On the other hand, I am so grateful that my bank foiled this attempt. In some ways, and this might be the middle-aged man talking, but I miss the days of everything being cash and digital banking not being everywhere.


3. One interesting scenario when it comes to the filming of The Cabin has to do with actually getting there. Do I drive my car, or do I rent one? On one hand, driving my own car saves hundreds of dollars over renting one. On the other hand, I just had some exhaust work done on my car, and although I trust driving it locally, and probably up to an hour from home, I don’t know if I trust driving it eight hours each way. I know my car needs some more work done on it to get it to closer to 100%, or at least as close as a car nearing 170K miles can get. I don’t want to have that work done until the new year, so it does make sense to spend the money to drive 1,000+ miles in total over the course of a week. I was hopeful that my AAA membership would give me some great discounts on renting a car. Nope. I guess I thought renting cars was cheaper than it is. Renting a vehicle for what would be six days costs the same as the hotel room I’ll be getting out there. That includes whatever discounts AAA would give me, which isn’t much. The funny part is that of all of the vehicles I’ve been looking at to rent, the cheapest are SUVs. It’s funny because, thanks to gas prices being as high as they have been in years, any savings I’d get on renting an SUV would immediately go out the window when I had to pay close to $5 a gallon for gas on a vehicle that gets half as many miles per gallon as my car. Update: Yes, I ended up renting a car.


4. So I had to cancel my debit card and ask for a new one to be sent to me. Fine. Not much I can do but wait, right? Wrong. An interesting little side quest in this latest fraud saga was learning about digital debit cards and also learning how to use Apple Pay. The debit card took seconds to get, so that was good. Next was setting up Apple Pay to include that card. I have had iPhones since 2011 and have never used the Wallet app for digital payments or storing cards, passports, etc. I figured approaching fifty was the right time to learn. It turns out it is way easier than I could have imagined. The literal next day after canceling my old debit card, I was able to use the new card to get gas via Apple Pay. Sure, swiping my card or using the chip reader didn’t take long, but Apple Pay cuts that time down even more. In less time than it takes to sneeze, I had my card accepted and was pumping the very overpriced but very needed gas into my car. One funny little twist to the Apple Pay story is that it has forced me to start using a passcode to open my phone. What’s that? You can’t believe I never used a passcode? My phone in the past 15 years has rarely been out of my sight, so it never seemed necessary. I grew up in a time when the majority of people still left their doors unlocked, so I guess I’m old-fashioned. Anyway, in order to have Apple Pay working, you have no choice but to use a passcode to protect your money, which makes total sense. I’m just getting used to the major inconvenience of typing six numbers in two seconds to open my phone. In the end, though, if it keeps my money safe, I can deal with it.


5. I think I have earned my reputation as the ‘fun uncle’ in my 27 years of being one. I tend to let my nieces and nephews do whatever they feel like, unless it’s super dangerous. Five of my six nieces and nephews are grown up to a point where they have their own friends and lives, and my time has been reduced a lot. It’s just what happens in life. So when I get the chance to spend some time with my youngest niece, Sylvie, you can bet I am taking advantage of the chance to be fun and foolish. The latest such chance was this week. My mom had gotten Sylvie some glitter makeup, and once she saw what it looked like, I knew it was only a matter of time until I was wearing it. Sure enough, she laughed while coating my face in glitter. This was accompanied by a 2nd place medal she had won at summer camp. Not wanting her to feel bad, I kept the medal and the glitter on even after she left. I went to the store after I left my mom’s, and even though I took the medal off, I did go inside complete with a glitter face. Seeing how much my face shined at my mom’s, I can only imagine what people thought seeing me in the store. Oh well, the price you pay for being the fun uncle is walking into public places with glittery makeup on your face. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

No, I wasn't this glittery, but there is always next time.

6. Sadly, I am now at the age where I can end up with some sort of pain or injury and have no memory of what caused it. This week it is my right shoulder. It has been painful to fully extend overhead. Tracing steps backward, I threw a pair of 10# slam balls with a client at work one day this week, but that wasn’t the cause. I also demonstrated a kettlebell windmill exercise with another client (this involves keeping your arm fully extended overhead while simultaneously hinging your body sideways away from that arm). That also wasn’t the cause. All I can think of is that I slept on that shoulder awkwardly, woke up with some pain, but didn’t pay attention and kept going about my day. I wish I had a better injury story. I wish I had tackled some guy that stole a woman’s purse, or hurt it dragging a stranded dolphin back into the ocean. Nope. I slept wrong. Yay, soon it will be that I threw out my back coughing or something dumb like that. Oh wait, it was only a few years ago that I threw my back out leaning forward to look at sliced meats in a deli, so yeah, we’re already there.


7. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: If you can’t figure out how to use self-checkout at the supermarket, go to a register with an actual person. This ends up being an older person most of the time. Lo and behold, it was again this week. A guy who had to be in his mid-70s had invariably messed up scanning his items at self-checkout. The store seemed to be short-staffed, so as the light was blinking, there wasn’t anyone immediately coming over to help. Then it happened at the next register, which was shockingly being operated by another old person. Rather than walking over to the service desk, which was about ten steps away, or, I don’t know, being patient for a few moments, these old bags started waving their arms like they were signaling a passing plane while stuck on a deserted island. God forbid an old person show sympathy for the short-staffed store. After a few seconds of waving like idiots, the old man started whistling like he was calling his dog at the park. Seriously, it was incredibly annoying and embarrassing. I was scanning my items with no issue since I had a good grasp on technology. All the while, this pair of old bags were doing a talent show routine. I wanted to tell them they should go to a regular register, but I’m sure they’d have just blamed the machine instead of their own incompetence. After an employee came over and sorted things out, one of the old people immediately caused the register to go off again. Naturally, they blamed the machine. I’d say they should do home delivery, but they’d probably give the wrong address and never get their stuff.


8. Three weeks ago I first shot a video of the current demolition of the Bass River Bridge on Cape Cod. They are slowly removing the westbound lane. That lane will be totally rebuilt wider. Once finished, work will begin on the eastbound lane. All the while, the bridge will still be in operation, which feels a bit shaky. I have heard the bridge is safe to stay in use even while being torn down. As of this week, half of the side barriers of the westbound lane have been removed. I stopped at the neighboring river park during a run so I could get some video of it. Since it’s still the heat of summer, the traffic gets pretty crazy on the bridge. I was able to run across the bridge faster than most vehicles could cross. I am not sure how long it will take to finish removing the barriers, but I am curious as to what the next step in the demolition process will be. The bridge functions fine without the barriers. However, once they start removing the pavement, then what? Regardless of the progress, it appears as though it will be about five years until the entirely new Bass River Bridge opens. Here is a video I shot this week so you can see how far they’ve gotten.




9. Filming unofficially began for The Cabin this week. I recorded three audio-only scenes with my buddy Steve, who plays the main character’s best friend. The setup was simple. Steve sat in front of the microphone with a soundproof box around it. It’s the same setup I use for my podcast. I was in charge of recording on my laptop and read the other lines in each scene. The awkward part came when intentionally placing spaces in between dialogue. After each character spoke, we would pause for a second or two. The reason for this is so that in post-production it will be easier for the editor to remove my voice and put in the actual actor playing the main character. It ended up being a pretty easy read-through and took maybe a half-hour total. I will be interested in hearing the finished product, as I was tempted to edit Steve’s dialogue to make it sound like he was on a phone. I’ll leave that stuff to whoever the editor will be. There are still two scenes to film before going off on location. Both of those are on video. I will end up standing behind the camera to run lines and also just rein in my excitement over this dream project starting to take shape.


10. Naturally, as I draw closer to heading out to Pennsylvania for The Cabin and get my hotel reservation set, I begin scoping out the area to see what there is to do and see. Now, with the town being small, there aren’t tons of attractions, but there are tons of places to eat. I am staying in one town, and we will be doing a lot of shooting in the next town over. There are lots of great-looking restaurants there as well. It’s a strange combination, as I technically am going on vacation, but in reality will be working more hours than I do in a typical work week on Cape Cod. I won’t have loads of time to explore, so I am guessing most of the adventures I have away from the movie shoot will consist of eating. I have already resigned myself to the fact that I will be in need of a serious cleanse upon my return. I mean, there is a Chinese food buffet a five-minute walk from my hotel, so why fight it? My hope is that the 12+ hour shooting days will help me keep burning calories, but I’m not getting my hopes up. The main souvenir I bring back from the filming may be an extra chin.

Me when I get home from the movie shoot

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #77: Foolish Furniture Store, Reading Labels, Mousy People, etc.

1. There is a furniture/home décor store that recently opened in my town. It took over the building from another furniture store. I’m guessing the new business wanted to make a big splash upon opening. Their solution to get eyes and ears on their store has been to blast music super loud from speakers in their parking lot. It is a little bit smart and a lot more ridiculous. I mean, let’s be real, you’re a furniture store. I’d expect that kind of obnoxious music blasting on loudspeakers outside from an amusement center, a restaurant, or, you know, a music store. It’s like the excitement of the loud music would be followed immediately by disappointment when you go inside and it’s desks and lamps, and tables. Wooo exciting.

2. This is the time of the year when I begin to plan my vacation. It occurs pretty much the same time every year, the last week of August. I have some good stuff planned already. It’s basically going to be a 3-4 day road trip through Northern New England. The irony is that even though a vacation is meant to be relaxing and a way to recharge I feel pressure. I feel pressure to pack my days with as much stuff to see to make it a trip worth remembering. I’m pretty sure I could go sit in a tent in Maine for 3 days and it would be awesome, but I’ll still be worrying for the next 6 weeks if I have enough to do on my itinerary.

Last time I was in Maine in 2019, those are my first 5 books.

3. It doesn’t take too long into summer for me to begin dreaming of my favorite season, that is fall. Warm weather and long days are all well and good, but with them comes loads of bugs and loads of low-intelligence people. I’m not sure which is worse. There are sprays to protect you from bugs. There are no sprays to protect you from idiots who drive while looking down at their phones repeatedly. It only gets worse when they begin swerving all over the road. Even after nearly hitting the sidewalk and a few oncoming vehicles, they went right back to checking their phone. I beeped to try to get them to smarten up and pay attention, but all they did was wave like a jackass. When I was finally able to pass them safely, I looked over and this guy looked like someone swept around a dumpster, poured it into a grungy tank top, and threw a few tattoos on it. Stay classy, white trashy.

4. In the building where I work, there are 3 other businesses besides my job. If a package is accidentally delivered next door, the people there will put a piece of paper in the window that says ‘UPS.’ Very nice of them. The only problem is when I go over there to get the package. I walk inside and down a short hallway, and I will knock politely on a door with a window. The woman who works at the front desk treats me like I am an ax murderer. She will crack the door open and speak with a trembling voice like she’s expecting me to whip out a machete and start carving her up. Maybe that’s just how she is. Maybe next time I should bang on the window and yell. She’d probably end up acting normally.

5. It might be time for me to get a new set of headphones. I have had a set of Mpow over-ear Bluetooth headphones that have lasted me close to 8 years. I had been used to having wired headphones last a few weeks or even less, so a pair that has made it years has been a privilege. That being said, I have noticed they are starting to wear out. The padding on the headband that connects the 2 ears has been gone for a few years. No big deal. But in the last several months I have noticed how difficult it is for me to get the headphones to charge. What I mean is that when I plug them into the charger, I have to wiggle and turn the USB in the headphones very specifically to get the charger light to turn on. It can be a 5-minute process to get the little red light to turn on, only for it to immediately turn back off. So yeah, maybe I have to get a new pair of headphones before I just take the old ones and bash them with a hammer.

6. There are days when I think I should buy a bucket, sponge, cloths, and soap, and do a full detailing of my car. Then I think about all of the time and effort it would take to make it look good. Plus there’s the fact that the trees and birds around my car like to use it as a toilet. Those are pretty strong deterrents. Why spend money and time to make my car look like new when it will likely be ruined by nature by the end of the same day? No thanks, I’ll just spray it with the hose each week, same thing.

I'd be better off washing my car with beer.

7. It will never not make me laugh and shake my head at the people who go to self-checkout in the grocery store and have no idea how to do it. There was a woman this week who was scanning items but decided to put her purse next to her shopping bag on the checkout counter. Naturally, the machine registered this and thought it was an unpaid item. The woman got mad at the machine because, of course, she can’t just admit she messed up. I felt bad for the employee who had to come reset the machine because they had to listen to this woman try to explain how it was the machine. I wanted to tell her next time, just go to a regular checkout line, but there’s no point in trying to help people like that.

8. I went to a baseball card shop for the first time in so many years. It was so that I could get a gift for my stepfather’s birthday. I forgot how much I loved looking at and collecting sports cards. The owners were great, and I intend on going back soon. They had a good mix of old packs of cards, new cards, and specialty stuff like autographed cards. I had a budget, and it was hard to keep to it. After seeing a Ken Griffey Jr. Donruss rookie card priced at $300, which I have, I am back to searching through my card collection to see if anything is valuable. Who knows, maybe this hobby will pay off. It has to be better than my Beanie Baby fail.

9. There is a great deal at a local dispensary called Haven in Brewster. You buy a 4-pack of THC seltzers and you get a 2nd 4-pack for $1. Awesome. This deal is on Saturdays during the summer for anyone who lives near Cape Cod. Anyway, I took advantage of it this week. For some reason, I figured that all of the seltzers had the same ingredients, even if the flavors were different. Boy, was I wrong. I thought Grape Soda flavor would be good, and it is. The problem is that it’s made like a regular soda. Don’t get me wrong, it was good, but it’s also 180 calories and loaded with sugar and carbs. My debate now is whether to drink all of them, or try to give the $1 4-pack away to others. Next time, I need to read labels.

Tastes great, loaded with sugar.

10. This summer has been a funny mix. So I always have some sort of work to do in writing, content, podcasting, etc. That’s in addition to my full-time day job. On my days off from the day job, I find myself spending 5-6 hours a day on content. I’ll get to a point where I need to pause my work and get outside and enjoy the summer weather. That is, until I actually get out on the road. Then I remember how incredibly overcrowded Cape Cod is in the summer. The roads are packed, beaches are packed, and stores are packed. After a few minutes I am ready to retreat back inside and wait until Labor Day. Sunny days are bad, rainy ones are worse. Then it’s like rushing outside to sit in traffic, even in my driveway.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog: #58 - Hackers, Silverware Mining, 'Free' Money, etc.

1. I woke up one morning this week with an email from 4:30am sending me the authentication code I had requested for my Microsoft account. Too bad I was asleep and didn’t recommend it. So basically some suck bag was trying to get into my account. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t realize I had the two-factor sign-in. I usually find that process annoying. I mean who wants to sign in twice to get into an account. Now? Well, it’s still irritating, but haha stupid hacking scum you’re not getting my 5,000 Microsoft Rewards points!

2. From where I live, within 5 miles of me, there are 6 CVS and 7 Dunkin’ Donuts. I don’t live in a busy city. I’d say it’s a bit excessive. Oh, and there are also 5 dollar stores of varying chains within 5 miles. Just a series of random facts I felt like sharing. Not sure what it says about my little section of Cape Cod.

Everywhere I go there they are.

3. I went for a long walk, over 5 miles. Before I even went to shower I drove to the store. I figured I’d get things done in one fell swoop. I ended up talking on the phone with a friend for 90 minutes while in my car. That meant that by the time I got out of the car to go into the store, my legs had severely stiffened up. My walking was not graceful. Unfortunately, I got out of my car at the same time as an older man who also had trouble walking. I had to step it up and walk through the pain just so I wouldn’t make him think I was making fun of him. Good times.

4. I have always had a problem being a people pleaser. I tend to want everyone to like me. This can manifest itself as me not knowing how to set proper boundaries. I’ve been getting better in 2025. This includes no longer doing author speaking events unless they are paying (yes I would do events for free as a favor to local establishments). Another is knowing when to not give an inch for someone to then take a mile. Free time is your time, not availability time. Being a people pleaser is rough when you’re creating content because the more views or interactions you get the more likely it is that you get people who don’t like your work or are just jerks. It’s still a work in progress.

5. It’s always a fun time when you get a letter from the Treasury Department. Deep breath though as it was actually a check reimbursing me for a tax return in 2018. It wasn’t a big check unfortunately but free money (hopefully) is always a good thing. Thanks, it at least bought me dinner and a slipcover for my easy chair. Yay, adulting!

6. Speaking of that slipcover I went to Job Lot to get it since it was pretty cheap. While I was wandering around the store looking for it, since I am a guy and won’t ask for help, I noticed an old lady rifling through the bins of loose silverware. I must have done 3 laps around the store and each time I came back to where she was she was arm deep in spoons and forks jingling them around. No idea if she found what she was looking for in those bins but I got the slip cover.

Not sure if this was her plan for the silverware.

7. At the grocery store I had a moment where I was glad my mind usually is three steps ahead. I got finished at self-checkout and was heading to the exit. My eyes spotted a familiar face. It was a man I had briefly worked with several years ago. My first instinct was to go and say hi to him. Within an instant, I remembered how he loved to talk. My mind went to getting stuck in a 20-minute conversation with a guy I hardly knew inside this supermarket. In the end I didn’t make eye contact and I headed for the exit with no conversation. I think I made the right choice.

8. I can tell that I have been in hibernation mode over the last several months. That is because I can fill up my car’s gas tank and not have to fill it again for 2-3 weeks. Granted that’s helping to preserve the life of my car which is at 150K miles, but I can’t wait for spring so I can do way more traveling.

9. I’m not anti-social but I won’t lie, I do prefer not speaking to strangers rather than speaking to them. I’ll smile and nod or say hello as I pass but I am not one to strike up a conversation. A funny thing has happened the last 4-5 times I’ve gone to a local Seasons(Shell). They have 1 self-checkout next to the register. Totally by coincidence, I’ve gotten in line with someone in front of me and no one at self-checkout. Naturally, I go to that. I have been able to get in and out without uttering a word which is all good by me.

10. Saving money is always good. This is the first week of March. I can say it’s the first month in probably 7 years I haven’t had a credit card payment. It’s also the first month of my new car insurance policy where I will save nearly $500 annually. It’s not major stuff but saving every little bit counts so yeah I’m happy.

It's not like this, but still saving money is great.

Initial Impressions 2.0 #15: No Trespassing, Dogs v. Texting, Google Car Is a Rolls-Royce?, etc(5-6-2024)

1. Have you ever noticed that it is typically the houses that look abandoned, have unkempt yards, no grass, and rusted-out cars littering the property, these are the houses that have ‘No Trespassing’ signs. It’s like don’t worry I don’t want to get any diseases by stepping foot on your garbage property. How about taking the money you wasted on several No Trespassing signs and using that for grass seed, or a bucket of house paint?

2. I don’t understand how someone can work for a supermarket chain and hate all of their bosses so much that they constantly transfer to other stores in that chain. I also don’t understand how if they hate management at all of these stores why they don’t go work for another chain altogether, or get into a different industry. Unless you signed a contract with your job you are not forced to work there. It’s almost like they’d rather just be angry and spiteful because it’s easier than looking for a new job.

3. I grabbed a few energy drinks at a local dollar store because they were crazy cheap. I didn’t get a bag so I walked out and back to my car holding a few cans. On my way, an old man, likely mid-70s, joked that I couldn’t drive home if I was drinking those. I laughed and thought about offering one to him but could already hear the ambulance sirens in my mind if the man drank something like that.

4. It would have been my Nana's 100th birthday this week. She has been gone for nearly 15 years but it only took me a few minutes to come up with a dozen things that I immediately associate with her. It shows her importance in my life even as our times together fade further into memories. I do things like this because I want her memory to remain alive and as long as I live all of my grandparents will live on.

5. I was paying for groceries at self-checkout with cash. I had some extra change in the center console of my car so this was an easy way to get rid of it. In the end, I owed 1 more cent. I actually looked around the area for a random penny on the floor, but no luck. I grabbed out a dollar and wouldn’t you know it the dang machine eats it. It was a 10-minute ordeal of finding someone to open the machine to get the dollar out. The person who helped actually put a penny in so I wouldn’t have to try the dollar again. To top it off the lady overseeing the self-checkout area then decided to give me a lecture about how to properly insert money into the machines. I said as nicely as I could that I knew how to pay at self-checkout seeing as how I have done it literally hundreds of times. As I walked out I said to myself ‘this is going in the blog,’ and here it is.

6. I actually saw a cat wandering around in a neighborhood. There was nothing odd about the cat, but I feel like over the past several years, especially on Cape Cod, outdoor cats have become increasingly rare. We have a coyote problem down here. Not sure if outdoor cats are still common in other places. Or maybe they still are everywhere and I just don’t notice them.

7. So in all honestly what is more dangerous? Texting while driving? Or having a dog in your lap? They both seem equally irresponsible yet only one can get you a ticket as far as I know. Are there laws against dogs being in a driver’s lap? You wouldn’t have a child roaming around while you drive, so why let a fidgety dog jump all around you while you’re behind the wheel of a 2,000-pound weapon on wheels?

Cute but dangerous

8. While out driving I saw this beautiful Rolls-Royce. It was slowing down to turn onto the road I was on. I was momentarily shocked and confused as I saw nobody driving it. Then as it turned it all made sense, it was a European model of the vehicle so the driver’s side was opposite to here in the U.S. For a brief moment, I wondered if the Google Maps vehicle was on Cape Cod, and also a Rolls-Royce for some reason.

The next Google Maps car?

9. Every now and then I see people driving in a parking lot and using their turn signals when going up and down rows of vehicles. I think I see this about as much as I see people using their turn signals for actual turning on the road. Maybe not that much but it does seem odd to use blinkers inside a parking lot. I have seen way more examples of people not using their blinkers on the road though but I think that’s more common everywhere these days.

10. I was thrilled when I stepped on a set of bilateral scales at work and the numbers were exactly the same on each. When I first got to my current job 3 years ago I had a misaligned hip that caused the end at the time of my competitive running. I was 15 lbs heavier on my left than my right when I first used the bilateral scales. The work I’ve done to fix my hips has paid off which makes me very happy. However, I was hit with a cold slap of reality when I added the 2 scales up and it was more than I had ever weighed in my life. So yay my hips are good again, and boo it’s diet time. 

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Initial Impressions 2.0 #8: Younger Self, Bike Trail Police, A Fistful of Supplements, etc.

#8: Younger Self

1. I have been recently wondering if it was possible to go back in time 30 years and talk to my 16-year-old self how that would go. If I told myself what I had done, what I had been through, and what I had accomplished thus far in life would my younger self tell me he was proud of me? Or would he ask me what the hell happened to me? I wish time travel was real because I honestly don’t know what the answer would be.

2. I bought a small pumpkin for Halloween in the second week of October. Here we are nearing the end of March and it is still going strong. I’m torn between getting rid of it soon, or waiting it out and seeing just how long this pumpkin will last. At least it’ll pass Easter no problem.

The pumpkin in its younger days in October 2023.

3. It wouldn’t be Cape Cod if the weather didn’t immediately get colder and more rainy as soon as the calendar said it was spring. Sure we could have blooming flowers but here, have cold drizzle and fog, that’s way better.

4. It will always be funny to me the amount of people who go through self-checkout in any store and get super irritated at the machine when they do something wrong. I want to suggest they go to a register with an actual human since self-checkout is obviously too much for them, but then I’d miss them swearing and slamming items down.

The anger is real.

5. If a dog owner picks up their dog’s crap and puts it in a bag but then leaves the bag on the ground have they really cleaned it up? By that logic, I should be able to leave bags of trash everywhere as long as the trash is in the bag.

6. Parts of the bike trails on Cape Cod now have 15mph speed limit signs. Yes, speed limit signs on a bike trail. Yes, I get it, kids and families use the trails and shouldn’t have to worry about people whizzing by super fast. But, if someone is ‘speeding’ on the bike trail what exactly happens to them? Are there bike trail police that will pull you over? I haven’t seen any yet if there are.

The chase is on.

7. A common phrase I find myself saying over the last few years is ‘I can’t believe (blank) was (how ever many) years ago.’ It must be the mid-life crisis talking. I wonder if someday I’ll say I can’t believe how long ago I wrote this blog.

8. I saw one of the absolute worst people ever at Market Basket. This old angry jerk yelled at a woman for going down the ‘wrong side’ of the aisle, then proceeded to call her a ‘woman driver.’ Then in the next aisle over he yelled at a man for ‘blocking the aisle’ as he was in the process of shopping. This scumbag was with a woman too who just let him harass everyone he encountered. I hope someone punches his lights out.

9. In my teens I’d pour a pile of M&M’s into my hand to get a sugar rush. In my mid-40s I pour a pile of vitamins & supplements into my hand just so that I can feel halfway decent. It’s more funny than anything because even though I think I am in much better shape than the vast majority of people my age I still need my multi, glucosamine, fish oil, probiotics, vitamin C, etc.

Sad but true

10. Getting old really sneaks up on you. One day you’re going off crazy jumps on your BMX bike, the next day you’re buying socks and a new broom and being very happy at that fact. Boy, life comes at you fast.

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Initial Impressions 2.0 #5: Self-Checkout, Mutant B.O., Hidden Coyotes, etc.

 #5 Self-Checkout

1. I was at a self-checkout in a grocery store. All of the scanners were full and most of them needed some assistance including me. An older lady(70ish) was standing at the entrance to the self-checkout alcove holding only a newspaper. The employee in charge of that area repeatedly asked her to come over so she could get checked out before they went to assist with the rest of our checkout issues. For some reason, the older lady didn’t want to go over to the extra register. It ended up being like a person trying to feed a wild animal, coaxing it with food, before the employee finally gave up and flat out said in frustration ‘Why won’t you just come here?’ By the time I was finally helped all of the other people at the self-checkout had been helped and that older lady with the newspaper had also left before me.

2. Pulled in the driveway where I live after dark. The homeowners had just gotten home before me. As I walked from my car across the front yard they turned on the outside light. That was enough to light up a coyote standing twenty feet away next to a tree. Luckily my freaking out to get my keys scared it away, but if the lights hadn’t come on maybe I’d have been its chew toy.

Don't worry, it's just me.

3. Did you know there’s no such thing as a seagull? Growing up on Cape Cod I had always called the gray and white birds that live by the water (and dumpsters) seagulls. In fact, most people call them that. However in reality they are herring gulls and there is no such thing as a bird called a seagull. Crazy. Here’s its ID page: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Herring_Gull/id

4. It’s still amazing how much warmer 50 degrees in February feels as compared to 50 degrees in July. One day this week it was sunny and 55 on my way to work and all I thought as I stood on the beach was that I must really like my job because it was a perfect day to suddenly have a 24-hour bug.

Over 50 degrees at the beach on Cape Cod in February hits differently.

5. Had my first infrared sauna experience this week. 28 total minutes in 140-degree heat. I sweat buckets which basically meant I had tons of toxins I needed to get rid of. Also fun fact, my iPhone stayed with me in the sauna (intentionally) and didn’t blow up, so that’s a bonus.

Man it was hot inside that sauna.

6. Getting on the highway I was stuck behind a blue minivan with New York plates. The big issue came from the huge sheet of plywood on the roof. It definitely got a little wobbly the faster they drove. I didn’t want to end up in one of those Red Asphalt driver’s ed videos so I passed them before the plywood could fly through my windshield and pop my head off like a dandelion.

7. I found an old journal I kept during my time living in Las Vegas in 2000-01. It’s amazing to look back now at 46 to the daily thoughts from when I was 22-23 years old. Some problems were definitely not problems. Some obsessions made me laugh and shake my head. I’m about halfway through it and at times I feel like the narrator answering questions I was asking then. Overall a good trip down memory lane.

8. The latest ‘my life is like an episode of Seinfeld’ moment. Remember the guy with the terrible B.O. in Jerry’s car? Where the smell stayed long after the guy left? At the gym, there is a man whose B.O. pours out of him, even through a thick sweatshirt. It is so bad that the stink cloud hovers over the treadmill he uses long after he leaves. Like Jerry says it’s mutant B.O.

Only slightly exaggerating how bad the B.O. was

9. I finally bought myself a new Blender shaker bottle. They’re great for protein shakes and mixing other drinks for exercise, etc. Anyway, I don’t know what the lifespan is on those bottles but I believe that the one I just threw away I had for 12-13 years. Is that too long? If it is let me tell you about a few gym towels I have that are about the same age.

10. Have you ever not heard a song for many many years and then you listen to it and it instantly puts your mind back to where you were when you were listening to it a lot? I had that happen the other night with a song from the band Live. I hadn’t heard the song in well over 15 years but as soon as it started playing my brain went back to 1997 and the lyrics flooded my head. Music is so powerful.

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