Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #124: Hearth n’ Kettle, Auto Acorns, Wild Kingdom, etc.

1. In the northeast, we have a restaurant chain called Hearth n’ Kettle. It’s got an old Colonial motif with classic New England fare. I remember many times going to the location in Yarmouth with family and loving it. A quick search says they originally opened in 1973 and at their peak had 6 or 7 locations. The last several years have been hard for Hearth n’ Kettle. There are only two active locations, with Yarmouth being seasonal at best. This week, when driving home, I passed by that location. In the parking lot was a bus and no other cars. People were standing around the bus, but there were no other cars in the lot. My guess is that they were being taken to Hearth n’ Kettle for dinner. Unfortunately, they are only doing dinner on weekends at this point in the year. I guess nobody bothered to call ahead to make sure they were open. That’s too bad. Papa Gino’s was right down the street, so they should’ve had no trouble finding dinner somewhere close by.

2. There is a trend going around with parents trying to recreate a ‘90s kid’s summer' in the present-day for their kids. I have seen a lot of people saying that just the fact that it is being meticulously planned is the first mistake. Having been a teenager in the 1990s I agree. My friends and I would meet up and just go where the wind blew. We’d take our bikes and not much else and figure things out on the fly. I get it that kids today can’t really just roam far away from home like we did back then. I also get it that today’s parents are those kids who grew up back then and they want to share the nostalgia with their kids. There has to be a happy medium. For a ‘90s kid’s summer’ day, it’s easy; it goes as follows. No phones, stay outside as much as humanly possible, and lunch or dinner must be either at the beach, in the car, or at a place with outdoor seating. Spend at least some time out in nature, even if this is just walking in a park or on the beach. Visit a place you’re familiar with but in a different way. For example, I had been to Pizza Hut numerous times as a kid, but it was a different time when my friends and I rode across town on our bikes to eat there. Luckily, I owned a camcorder back then and took copious amounts of videos of my 90’s summers. Here is a little slice of what it was like back then.



3. This week saw the official launch of the GoFundMe for my feature-length film debut, The Cabin. It is exciting and also nerve-racking. We have a modest budget goal for the film to pay for cast, crew, locations, props, and all of the post work. With roughly 2 ½ months until shooting, there’s plenty of time to get most or all of that goal. If worst comes to worst, my plan is to fill in the gap in the budget with my own money. I believe so strongly in the film that I am willing to put my money where my mouth is. I have wanted to be a filmmaker since I was in high school and spent my savings on a bulky Sears camcorder. Now, 30 years later, that dream is as close to being a reality as it has ever been. There is no way I will let that pass by. The Cabin is a suspenseful, psychological horror film based on a short story that I wrote over 15 years ago. If you can donate to the fundraiser, thank you. If you can’t, please share the link so that others might donate. Updates will be coming over the next several months.


4. Welcome to June in New England. You’d think that the month where summer starts would be filled with relatively warmer weather. For the most part, you’re right, until you’re not. On June 2nd, we woke up with a low of 37 degrees on Cape Cod. Not sure if that’s a record. Considering that because we stick out into the ocean, the temperatures on Cape Cod are usually warmer, I am guessing that places in northern New England must have had some temperatures dip below freezing. Luckily, looking ahead for the next two weeks, I don’t see anything close to those chilly temperatures returning. I’m not saying that I’m looking for temperatures in the 90s with high humidity, but after the winter we had in New England, I’d like to have some heat before the cold returns.


5. I didn’t expect the sense of panic that washed over me one morning this week when I grabbed my Fitbit off its charger only to find that the battery was nearly dead. As I stared at the screen with it reading 4% battery, I was freaking out. I need my Fitbit to track my calories burned so I know exactly how much I can eat for dinner. It’s not quite an obsession, but when you’re hurtling toward 50, tracking your fitness becomes more important. I mean, it should always be important, but when you’re in your 20s and 30s, time is on your side, and you have more room for error. That morning was a mashup of me charging the Fitbit in the car on the way to work and then sitting at my desk with it charging enough that I could wear it. I figured if I was just sitting there, I wasn’t accumulating steps or really burning calories, so I was safe. It turned out that I simply hadn’t secured the Fitbit to the charger, which was why the battery just died overnight. At least I hope that was it. There hasn’t been another issue during the week, so I think my nightmare of the dead Fitbit battery is over, but we’ll see. This is the true definition of ‘first-world problems.’


6. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I decided to do a rebrand of my content creator page on Facebook. Instead of exclusively focusing on my podcast, I opened it up to everything that I do. Podcasting, while probably my favorite thing I create, is only a small piece of the pie. I also have had 10 books published, have written something like a thousand blogs, have created probably close to 800 YouTube videos, and countless photo and video posts on social media. I figured after all of these years, it might be wise to share all of what I do. It could lead to more followers. This week’s portion of this rebrand was changing my Patreon page. If you’re unsure of what Patreon is, it is a membership service where a creator in any field can garner subscribers, whether paying or free. It allows someone to support someone whose work they enjoy while, in turn, getting exclusive content or products in return. Anyway, changing your page can be risky because if someone has become a subscriber based on the podcast, they could see the change and think that I am totally scrapping what they became a member for. I created a short post explaining my choice, and hopefully, it will entice more people to come and join. Naturally, I have a link to the page here. No pressure to join, just check out the free tier.



7. I do quite a bit when it comes to creative work. Podcasts, videos, books, blogs, burgeoning film career, and even photography. Despite having a photo book, an Etsy shop, and having shared thousands of photos on social media, one thing I have never done is promote myself as a professional photographer. I mean, like the type who takes jobs shooting weddings and other events. So you’d imagine my surprise when out of the blue I get an email from a stranger asking about my availability to shoot a school reunion in the upcoming weeks. I will admit I briefly thought about accepting, but it came down to time and commitment. I don’t have the time in my schedule to take many hours out to prepare, scout, shoot, and then edit photos. I also just didn’t have the desire to open that door. I don’t have professional equipment besides my DSLR camera. I have no desire to spend boatloads of money buying the equipment I’d need, either. I referred them to a friend who is an actual professional photographer. I will do photo shoots for people, but only family and friends.


8. I used to be more handy when it came to cars. My first few autos I owned were older and often needed work. They lent themselves to being easier to fix, even if you weren’t knowledgeable. I knew how to do most things to fix those old cars. As cars got newer, they needed less work, and I found myself bringing them to mechanics for everything. I have had my current car for almost 12 years. It has 164,000 miles on it and still runs pretty well for an older vehicle. I’d also like to keep it running for 100,000 miles or more. I know I don’t have the skills to repair major issues with my car, but I figure smaller, simpler things I can handle. I decided this week to swap out my engine air filter. It’s very basic. You flip open a box, grab the old filter out, replace it with the new one, and close the box. The first rule of changing the air filter is to make sure you get the right one. No, not the one that will fit your vehicle, I mean the engine filter and not the cabin air filter. I got the wrong one by mistake and immediately had to go back to Auto Zone and replace it. Smart. Oh, but it gets better. I decided to just swap them out in the parking lot. I opened the hood and opened the black plastic box. I removed the old filter, but not before noticing underneath the filter, there was a pile of acorn shells. Nice. I am sure that’s been helpful for my airflow. While I was greasy and had the hood up, I opened the engine compartment. There, I also found some acorn shells. What the hell? Did a squirrel sabotage my car? Have I just not checked my car for so long that the occasional acorn shell got under my hood over the months and collected that much? I’ll have to pay attention if my car starts running smoother after removing those acorn shells. I feel like there would have been fewer of those acorns if I had found a car abandoned in a field behind a decaying barn.


9. There was a classic photo trip this week. My cousin Patrick is visiting Cape Cod from Las Vegas. Even though he had lived here for many years, there are a lot of places he’s unfamiliar with. I was tasked with finding some worthwhile places to shoot. It wasn’t hard. We stuck to the eastern part of the Cape, the towns of Brewster, Orleans, Chatham, and Harwich. I was actually surprised that there weren’t more people around because it was a mostly sunny weekend. We spent much of the afternoon cruising around getting great photos. Perhaps the best part, though, was at the end when I was dropping him off to get his car, and we sat and chatted for close to two hours. It was a fun talk about growing up, our family, and life in general. I think it was the first true, deep, long, drawn-out conversation we’d had like that. It was definitely a day I am so glad we had.

My cousin standing in the Chatham labyrinth.

10. The photo trip ended up being like an episode of Wild Kingdom. Oh sure, we saw the typical array of birds and loads of insects, but we also saw unusual animal guests during the day. First was a gigantic snapping turtle at the Stony Brook Herring Run in Brewster. A young couple asked if we had seen it, and so we rushed over to see a turtle in a shallow creek. This snapper had to have a shell that was a foot and a half across. I bet it weighed 30 pounds. I got some good video as I lowered my phone down using my selfie stick. Luckily, the turtle simply dropped its head below the water and didn’t try to snag my phone like it was a Ritz cracker. Next up was an eastern milksnake behind the Crosby Mansion in Brewster. It was lying in the grass, probably not expecting to have two people come walking up on it. The snake was probably four feet long and was blue and white striped. It slithered off into the brush, but not before I got a great video of it. Finally, at the Chatham Fish Pier, there were several gray seals. They are pretty common there now as they hover around the fishing boats after docking in the hopes of a stray fish being lost overboard. They are like 400-pound seagulls. That being said, the videos of them floating on their backs and looking like dogs make for easy content that people love.




11. It wasn’t all fun and games on the photo trip, though. Being early June, the bugs have started to take control. I have to make a choice when going outside, bug spray or sunscreen. I’m sure you could do both, but how much soupy spray do you want on yourself while trying to enjoy a day outside? I chose sunscreen. I definitely don’t regret it since I was outside for several hours and didn’t end up looking like bacon-wrapped lobster. While we were wandering the woods looking for a hidden cemetery in Harwich, I wished I had added a splash of bug spray. The mosquitoes were everywhere. My cousin was fine having used the bug spray. I got a few nibbles, but nothing prepared me for what awaited back in the car. As we pulled out of the trail parking lot, I could see a stray mosquito hovering around. It landed on my arm, and I knew I had it dead to rights. I gave it a smack. Yes, I killed it, but it also exploded in a ghastly spread of blood on my arm and hand. Here I am trying to drive while trying to clean someone else’s blood off my hand and arm. I was also trying to not smear blood on my steering wheel. It was some nasty stuff. Next time, I’ll create the mixed cocktail of sunscreen and bug spray.


12. Publishers Clearing House, it was not. This week, I got a letter in the mail from the Massachusetts Treasury Department. Excitement was in the air once I realized it wasn’t a bill. I was getting money back from the state. Now, to be honest, I already knew what was in the envelope. I had been on the Find Mass Money website as a person who had some cash owed to them. I believe that mine had to do with overcharging on an old, very old Sears credit card. My enthusiasm over the check I got was tempered a little when I saw the amount: $8.80. So yeah, no secret millions came to me. In fact, it isn’t enough to get a pizza, but it can be a down payment on one. I held out hope for a misprint, but sadly, it was just enough for two gallons of gas in this day and age.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #67: Monday Runday, Social Media Stalkers, 5K Fun, etc.

1. It was the return of Monday Runday this week. That is where I get out of work, meet my friend Mike at a local school track, and run or walk. It is so much fun, especially when the weather is good. The return of this fun event was not without its challenges. Mainly, it was do I beat the hell out of a selfish, entitled dog owner. I took a detour off of the track to find a porta-potty. Once done there I took a long lap around the school. It was here that I was met with a dog running free while its idiot owners just watched. I yelled repeatedly to get their dog while it ran around me. I kept running but made sure to toss several F words at the moron dude who stood there leaking brain cells on the ground. It did get my adrenaline pumping but man, stupid people.

2. A new piece of training equipment I got to try this week is resistance training for your lungs. It is a mouth guard with a valve attached to it. You can adjust the valve to restrict your oxygen intake. The gist of it is that if you have to breathe twice(or more) as hard as normal to get a full breath then when you’re exercising in reality, you’ll have far more stamina. I suppose you could use it to strengthen your lungs just for daily life as well. My hope is that using it will leads to more stamina running while my calf wedge will allow me to run longer due to increased ankle and calf mobility. We shall see.

3. I don’t know if it is an example of the Mandela effect or if it’s just me, but how did it take me to my late 40s to realize that Tom the Cat from Tom & Jerry was gray during the first years of the cartoons? I thought he was always blue, but it turns out he was gray for a lot of the time. Maybe my sense of color was different when watching the cartoons as a kid? Maybe I am putting way too much thought into 80-year-old cartoons? But also what else from my childhood am I ‘misremembering’ as Roger Clemens once said?

How did I not notice Tom was gray?

4. There are plenty of times over the last few years when I feel like I am working on so many different projects and making minimal progress on each. Typically, my content itinerary consists of podcasts, videos, blogs, and various social media posts to promote all of those. I have also been working for months on a website for my podcast. This is the project that feels like I am making little progress on. Usually it’s because the rest of the content takes precedence. As we speak, I am working on loading in all of the links I’ve shared in 194(and counting) episodes, along with all of the old shows and artwork. You can see that it’s slow going based on the fact that I chose to stop that work to continue this blog. I’m sure the site will be up before my podcast ends, pretty sure.

5. I always find it weird and a bit off-putting when a random stranger likes a photo or post of mine on social media that dates back several years. Like how much are you stalking my pages to find something that far back when I have hundreds, if not thousands of posts? It’s especially creepy on Instagram, where I have nearly 6,000 posts. If you’re that big of a fan to go years back in my archives, then go support me on Patreon, if you’re just a weirdo stalker, then please make yourself known so I can block you.

6. My 5K race this weekend left me shocked and speechless in the best possible way. I had only semi-trained. I looked at this race as a kind of barometer of where I went with running afterward. My goals were twofold. Don’t get hurt, and finish the 5K(3.1 miles) in less than 35 minutes. I ended up beating my goal by more than 6 minutes, and actually beating my last 5K time by a good 45 seconds. To say I am shocked is an understatement. I was tired for sure but I set a pace from the start and barely wavered. As a runner, sometimes the hardest thing to do is run your race and not change your plan based on others around you. I fell victim to that more times than I can count. For some reason in this race, I felt like it was just me against myself, and it turned out better than I could have imagined.

7. The race was the Dennis Chamber 5K. It started and ended at the beautiful Mayflower Beach, which is on the bay side. This marked the 4^th time I ran a race on this course. It’s relatively easy, there are a couple of hills but nothing that any average runner hasn’t seen before. This year’s race had about 250 people, so we were packed like sardines at the beginning. At my peak I used to line up right on the starting line and would take off in a flash. Now I tend to be in the middle of the pack. The faster people take off out of sight, while I still can pass my fair share of slower people who don’t understand that they need to be in the back of the group. There was music, free food, water, a potential free lunch afterward. It was a fun and festive time made all the better by my surpassing my own expectations.

8. I took pride in my outfit for the race. I had an idea for it in my head and had to hope for the weather to cooperate because a rainy day would put the kibosh on my setup. Luckily, it ended up being sunny and around 60 for the race. This meant that I was able to go all out. I had some styling powder from a company named Level 3. It’s great stuff, you can use it on your dry hair. So I spiked up my hair I’ve been growing for the last few months. This didn’t go off without a hitch, as when I opened the container of the powder, I did manage to spill some on my black shirt and shorts. Smooth. Then I had a killer headband from the Junk company. It was blue and black Hippie skulls. Combined with sunglasses, it was a great look. Things went off without a hitch until a few hours after the race. This is when I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that, thanks to the headband, I had a very specific red area on my face. The headband and sunglasses covered my forehead and eyes, so I ended up with what boiled down to a red line about ¼” wide going across my forehead right above my eyebrows. Nice. It was still a good look though.

You can see where I might have gotten red...

9. The weather has been perfect especially over the weekend. It was time to throw open all of the windows and get that spring air flowing through my space. Of course this is the time then that the next door neighbor has a thorough cleanup done on their yard. This was complete with a backpack blower going nearly nonstop for close to 2 hours. It was the ultimate background music for me trying to edit my podcast. I ended up having to close my windows just like it was January again. Booo.

10. In this day and age I rarely have cash on me. I rely on my debit card for all purchases. Only when an issue arises do I wish we were still in the cash days. I was in a supermarket and only when I was at the self-checkout did I realize that the card reader was having issues. I had cash on me but only $5. I wasn’t going to leave my stuff, go run to an ATM, and then come back to pay the rest. After close to 10 minutes of trying and failing a different employee came over and suggested I try the ‘tap’ option. I had done it several times with no luck but to humor her I did one last time. Lo and behold it worked. I was so relieved and said she was a good luck charm. I then bumped into a few people I knew. I felt so good when leaving that I took that $5 and gave it to a group of little girls collecting money for their dance academy. Good karma for me.

Just a little spring photo to end the blog.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #66: Dream Chasing, Found Money, Lost Nerve, etc.

1. There are loads of famous quotes about chasing your dreams. The gist of them all is to keep pursuing them if you truly want them. My dream has been the same, to become successful in a field using creativity rather than simple manual labor. It has evolved over time. Writing, content creation, and photography are all a part of my dream. Now it has evolved into acting, whether on camera or voice acting. To do it though, you need to audition or at least apply for potential roles. Maybe you get the part, maybe you don’t, but you definitely won’t if you don’t apply. It’s better to apply, get a part, and have to figure out how to make it fit into your schedule, rather than worry about how it will fit into your schedule and not even bothering to try.

2. It is mating season for animals. Knowing this made a lot of things from the past weekend make sense. On a run I came across 3 turkeys standing in the road. The male had his tail feathers spread wide while a pair of females gawked at him. The funniest one though was running past an osprey nest on a pole. I found it odd that 1 osprey was seated in the nest and another flew down and literally landed standing on the other’s back. I thought it was weird until someone at work mentioned it being mating season. Suddenly, that awkward landing by the osprey made sense. They just needed some romantic music.

3. The older I get, the more I find myself living by the credo ‘say yes to whatever and figure it out later.’ Meaning if an opportunity you want comes along you accept it and figure out how to do it, or fit it into your life later. Being that I am trying to get some more acting gigs I have recently put that credo into action. I auditioned for a role in a movie set to film beginning at the end of May. If I get it I might need to put in for serious time off from work on relatively short notice. However, you never know what opportunity might be the one that changes your life. It’s a risk that needs to be taken sometimes. We’ll see what the results are.

4. Creating an audition tape is a unique experience. For the film I mentioned above I had to give some basic info about myself and also answer questions specific to the role I am trying out for. I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly the recording went. Granted, I was able to edit out some long pauses and looking at the questions on my phone but that’s beside the point. Recording tons of videos and podcasts along with doing lots of speaking events, has made public speaking, or at least describing myself to strangers, much easier. I’m not saying that it means I nailed the audition and should get a call back soon. I’m just saying that I’m a way better public speaker than the shy, nervous, introvert I was growing up could ever have imagined.

5. I was at the grocery store one night this week. It was a standard trip until I got the self-checkout. It was then that I realized I’d left my wallet in the car. Part of me wished that I had actually loaded my debit card into my Apple Wallet after months of deliberating. Sadly I had to alert an employee. I had to let them know I was running to my car to get my wallet and that I wasn’t just ditching a full bag of groceries like some loser. After I paid and was leaving I thanked the employee for understanding. Their reaction was one that felt like they wanted to laugh but didn’t want to get in trouble. I still haven’t set up my Apple Wallet by the way.

6. In more money fun I mentioned a while back that I paid off a credit card I had maxed out years ago. I got it when I was desperate for extra money and it has an extraordinary interest rate. I wanted to keep the account open as it’s supposedly better for your credit score. However after getting slapped with a $99 annual fee I decided enough was enough. I have no intention of ever using the card again so I reached out to cancel the account permanently. I’m all for keeping my credit score up but I’m not willing to just throw money at this company like an idiot. I did that for years just paying the card off.

7. Located within sight of the parking lot at Chatham’s Lighthouse Beach is a rustic shack that you’d think has been there forever. The Occupy Chatham shack is 1/3 mile hike across the sand. It’s only been there since 2015. It’s a fun photo op, especially when the weather is good. I went this week with my buddy Steve and even though it was cloudy there were still great photos to be had. One photo op I passed on though was the litany of dead eiders on the way out. We counted 3 of the black and white ducks dead on the walk. I’m sure if we’d have kept walking we’d have found more but that was enough sadness for a quick trip.

8. From the ‘Almost Disaster’ files: I switched car insurance a few months ago. I ended up saving about $400 a year on the new policy. Afterward, I had gotten several letters from the former insurance company. I piled them and some other junk mail on a shelf. The time came when I needed to get rid of all of that junk. I started tearing up all of the letters. The ones from my old insurance company were all about life insurance, or so I thought. So I’m ripping these all to shreds but the final one I had a little trouble tearing. Luckily I pulled the contents out to see what it was and to my surprise there was a reimbursement check. It wasn’t a ton, like $50, but still I almost ripped up free money.

9. I typically don’t have any trouble sleeping. However every so often, maybe once every other month, I have a night where I wake up and am instantly wide awake. This happened this week and it was even less fun because I had an early wake up for a photo trip I was going on. The irony was that my mind was wide awake as I started seeing the potential photos I could take the next morning. It took a good hour but finally I did fall back to sleep.

10. Speaking of that photo trip. I joined my buddy Steve as he went to begin opening up his family’s cottage on the Gurnet which is a private seaside peninsula that is in the towns of Duxbury and Plymouth in Massachusetts. I love going there because there is a historic lighthouse that I can get up close photos of. On this trip there was a man and a woman doing some sort of cleaning inside the lighthouse. The front door was open and everything. I hung around a bit trying to be out of the way but polite. My thought was if I was there long enough and was friendly, they might ask me if I wanted to check out the interior of the lighthouse. Sadly this didn’t happen, but the photos were still great.

11. A favorite part of these Gurnet trips is stopping at Gunther Tooties for a tasty bagel and flavored cream cheese. There are six locations in the southeastern part of Massachusetts. I lean toward the sweet flavors like cinnamon, French toast, and honey cream cheese. They do, however, have more savory offerings. If you enjoy bagels and cream cheese, definitely check them out.

12. From the ‘Of Course’ files. Steve and I went on a quest to get out to this recreation area in a village named Humarock. It’s a part of Scituate. Anyway, there is a cool tower out there that I believe is one of the observation towers built during World War II. It seemed like everything was good to go as we followed the GPS out to the recreation area. Of course it couldn’t be that easy. Yes, there was a recreation area. The problem was that it was on Air Force property and gated. No chance of sneaking in for a few photos of the tower unless I wanted to be immediately cuffed and hauled away.

13. We headed out to get some photos of the newly renovated Scituate Lighthouse. Many years ago I had walked to the end of the nearby breakwater, scaled a tower, and taken a great panoramic photo of the lighthouse and coastline. My mind was set on doing that again. We walked all the way out and I got to the tower. About halfway up the ladder, I froze. Suddenly, the tower felt like it was 100 feet tall. The howling wind didn’t help my confidence. I climbed down and then felt ashamed so I started climbing again. A second time I got halfway up and froze. I don’t know if my brain sensed trouble could be ahead if I kept climbing but this time I climbed back down and gave up. Better to get a photo safely from the ground than get blown off the top of the tower. 

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog: #58 - Hackers, Silverware Mining, 'Free' Money, etc.

1. I woke up one morning this week with an email from 4:30am sending me the authentication code I had requested for my Microsoft account. Too bad I was asleep and didn’t recommend it. So basically some suck bag was trying to get into my account. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t realize I had the two-factor sign-in. I usually find that process annoying. I mean who wants to sign in twice to get into an account. Now? Well, it’s still irritating, but haha stupid hacking scum you’re not getting my 5,000 Microsoft Rewards points!

2. From where I live, within 5 miles of me, there are 6 CVS and 7 Dunkin’ Donuts. I don’t live in a busy city. I’d say it’s a bit excessive. Oh, and there are also 5 dollar stores of varying chains within 5 miles. Just a series of random facts I felt like sharing. Not sure what it says about my little section of Cape Cod.

Everywhere I go there they are.

3. I went for a long walk, over 5 miles. Before I even went to shower I drove to the store. I figured I’d get things done in one fell swoop. I ended up talking on the phone with a friend for 90 minutes while in my car. That meant that by the time I got out of the car to go into the store, my legs had severely stiffened up. My walking was not graceful. Unfortunately, I got out of my car at the same time as an older man who also had trouble walking. I had to step it up and walk through the pain just so I wouldn’t make him think I was making fun of him. Good times.

4. I have always had a problem being a people pleaser. I tend to want everyone to like me. This can manifest itself as me not knowing how to set proper boundaries. I’ve been getting better in 2025. This includes no longer doing author speaking events unless they are paying (yes I would do events for free as a favor to local establishments). Another is knowing when to not give an inch for someone to then take a mile. Free time is your time, not availability time. Being a people pleaser is rough when you’re creating content because the more views or interactions you get the more likely it is that you get people who don’t like your work or are just jerks. It’s still a work in progress.

5. It’s always a fun time when you get a letter from the Treasury Department. Deep breath though as it was actually a check reimbursing me for a tax return in 2018. It wasn’t a big check unfortunately but free money (hopefully) is always a good thing. Thanks, it at least bought me dinner and a slipcover for my easy chair. Yay, adulting!

6. Speaking of that slipcover I went to Job Lot to get it since it was pretty cheap. While I was wandering around the store looking for it, since I am a guy and won’t ask for help, I noticed an old lady rifling through the bins of loose silverware. I must have done 3 laps around the store and each time I came back to where she was she was arm deep in spoons and forks jingling them around. No idea if she found what she was looking for in those bins but I got the slip cover.

Not sure if this was her plan for the silverware.

7. At the grocery store I had a moment where I was glad my mind usually is three steps ahead. I got finished at self-checkout and was heading to the exit. My eyes spotted a familiar face. It was a man I had briefly worked with several years ago. My first instinct was to go and say hi to him. Within an instant, I remembered how he loved to talk. My mind went to getting stuck in a 20-minute conversation with a guy I hardly knew inside this supermarket. In the end I didn’t make eye contact and I headed for the exit with no conversation. I think I made the right choice.

8. I can tell that I have been in hibernation mode over the last several months. That is because I can fill up my car’s gas tank and not have to fill it again for 2-3 weeks. Granted that’s helping to preserve the life of my car which is at 150K miles, but I can’t wait for spring so I can do way more traveling.

9. I’m not anti-social but I won’t lie, I do prefer not speaking to strangers rather than speaking to them. I’ll smile and nod or say hello as I pass but I am not one to strike up a conversation. A funny thing has happened the last 4-5 times I’ve gone to a local Seasons(Shell). They have 1 self-checkout next to the register. Totally by coincidence, I’ve gotten in line with someone in front of me and no one at self-checkout. Naturally, I go to that. I have been able to get in and out without uttering a word which is all good by me.

10. Saving money is always good. This is the first week of March. I can say it’s the first month in probably 7 years I haven’t had a credit card payment. It’s also the first month of my new car insurance policy where I will save nearly $500 annually. It’s not major stuff but saving every little bit counts so yeah I’m happy.

It's not like this, but still saving money is great.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog: #50 - My Nana, Middle-Aged Teen, Getting Mad Cash, etc.

1. My Nana passed away 15 years ago this week. I still miss her like she died just yesterday. Despite that, I do feel at peace knowing that I spent so much time with her while she was alive. Of course, I’d always want one more get-together but I’m blessed to have thousands of memories of her. That being said I do get sentimental on certain days. Her birthday, Christmas Eve, and her death date. I still remember it like it was yesterday. She had died late the previous night so I found out early the next morning. I remember feeling numb. I found it interesting that only moments after finding out Nana had died I spotted 3 crows on the roof of the house next door. They represent death and the afterlife so it was very appropriate.

2. My favorite Chinese food spot on Cape Cod is Sun On in Dennis. It has been for loads of years. To me, the food is always great. However, one thing I really like about them is that they remember you. The man who I think is either the owner or manager always remembers my name. In fact, I went in this week and saw him for the first time in probably a couple of years. He immediately smiled and said hello and remembered my name. Yes, that earned a little cash tip in the jar.

3. I am going into 2025 with more of a clean slate than usual. Sure I have things I am working on, or working toward, but I am also feeling like I need to leave a lot more open. This will allow things to come into my life that I might normally miss. I don’t have any books I’m working on. I don’t even have any book events scheduled. These are typically the times that unforeseen things show up. I’m cautiously excited to see where things will be at the end of 2025.

4. I had a very low-key New Year’s Eve. I definitely don’t miss those days of staying out until after midnight and drinking. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of funny stories from years past. More funny because I survived. This included a year, probably 2013 when I drove home from a favorite restaurant/bar close to 1am. My drive home included blinding snow, a curvy road, and a good buzz. Like I said I can laugh now but that easily could have been how my story ended.

5. At a small local convenience store I was gifted a huge pleasant surprise. No, not a winning lottery ticket. This store carries the 16oz 5-Hour Energy drinks that I love but rarely can find. The last time I had one was when I was up in Brattleboro, Vermont in August. I bought a few and now know I can get them whenever I want. The store itself is a bit sketchy but that just means I need to get in and out fast with my haul.

6. I was faced with a sad reality on New Year’s morning. I got up *relatively* early to go to the gym to kind of kick 2025 off right. I wasn’t up that early but I rolled into the gym at 9am. It was a good workout and the gym really wasn’t crowded. It wasn’t until I was finishing up by walking a bit on a treadmill that I noticed something. Easily 95% of the people in there were older than me, and older by a lot. I wasn’t the youngest in the gym but I had to be close. It made me realize that my ‘out late partying’ days are really over. Well, honestly they were never that crazy anyway, but even if I wanted to start being a party guy it’s way too late.

7. The good news: my blog, this blog, recently passed 450K total views. The bad news: I’ve been running this blog since 2008. We’ll keep that second part quiet. I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 blog posts dating back to my debut post on October 25, 2008. Did you know that you can make money on these blogs through ad clicks? There is a $100 minimum threshold for payout though. Would you like to know when the last time was that I got a payout on my blog? February 21, 2014. So going on 9 years. I’m not saying that blogging doesn’t pay off. I’m just saying that you need to have other side hustles or try out different subjects to write about. But oh man I’m getting close to that next $100 payout. I can’t wait to use it on groceries for the week.

8. From the ‘Everything Is Coming Up Milhouse’ department: I was at a grocery store paying at the self-checkout. I had cash but the total included 1 cent. The question came up, do I break a bill and get 99 cents back? Or do I use my debit card to avoid getting back that change? Well, the grocery gods were smiling on me as I looked on the ground beside me and saw a penny on the floor. No this wasn’t like finding a winning lottery ticket on the floor but I guess it was the next best thing. Maybe not the next best. More like the 100^th next best but still, exact change is a fun accomplishment.

9. After many years I finally have a really good writing station. I bought a comfy office chair, an actual desk, and a plastic floor cover so my chair doesn’t tear up the carpet. Within a few minutes of sitting down at this desk, I found myself working on several projects at once. Having a different setting for work is indeed a big key for creativity. So far it’s only been writing and editing, no recording but as of now, I am thrilled with this setup. Plus I put everything together myself so I feel a bit handy as well.

10. Here is what is likely the most appropriate shopping trip for me. I bought myself a basketball. I haven’t owned a basketball since high school and I want to start playing again as the weather gets better. It’ll be an easy way to trick myself into exercising. However, I also bought myself a pill organizer. You know the one with the days listed and their own individual containers? I keep forgetting to take my vitamins so I got that as a reminder. It’s like teenage me and middle-aged me are being melded together into one. 

Middle-Aged Teen Playset

What I've Learned In My 40s(so far): 4. Nothing Is Guaranteed and Sometimes A Step Back Can Move You Forward

I turned 40 on November 2, 2017. There is an old saying that ‘life begins at 40.’ I used to think that was just something middle-aged people said to make them feel younger. Maybe that is a part of it. I do believe that the wisdom behind that saying is that you spend those first 39 years accumulating all kinds of knowledge that you then can start to put into practice when you hit the Big 4-0.

For me, as I stare down 47, I can honestly say that my 40s so far have been the most difficult and also rewarding decade of my life. I never thought I’d find a time where I’d feel more unsure, insecure, lost, and yet filled with optimism. My teens used to be the benchmark until my 40s.

I’ve learned a lot in my life. Some of it has been useful as I’ve aged. A lot has been pointless. No amount of studying prepares you for coming to grips with your own aging, your own mortality, or your own demons. No amount of preparation can soften the blow of loss and grief. My 40s have been a trial by fire. They have seen me dropped in hostile environments mentally with no survival gear and having to learn on the fly.

So what have I learned in my 40s so far? A lot.

4. I’ve Learned That Nothing Is Guaranteed and That Sometimes It Takes A Step Back To Move You Forward

I spent years, too many years, working in the restaurant industry. Don’t get me wrong it was a time when I met so many important people in my life. I don’t regret it in general. I just regret that I stayed until I was bitter and angry at my own lack of movement.

In 2015 I decided to take a chance and leave cooking to become a personal trainer. I figured since I was at the gym 5+ days a week and knew my way around the equipment I could use that knowledge to help others become better versions of themselves.

I worked full-time while also going to classes over the weekend to become a trainer. It was new to me as far as how to make it a career. Up until then it was guaranteed hours cooking. They were tough hours and a lot of them were spent under high pressure, but they were always there.

In training, I learned right away that nothing was guaranteed. There was no guarantee that someone would want to pay to train with the ‘new guy.’ There was no guarantee of hours at jobs since these gyms only see trainers as valuable when they are in the actual act of training someone. These things forced me to change my view on my new career in short order.

Rather than committing to one gym, I worked at 2. Both of these were very part-time. This meant that during some weeks I’d work less between the 2 jobs than I did in half a week cooking. I had to keep pushing ahead. I held out hope that as I gained experience I would be seen as a trainer that people could count on to help them.

As much as I was determined to give personal training my best effort there was something that threatened to derail my commitment. Money. As I said there were no guarantees. I got paid more when I trained someone, and it was good money. I liken it to a server getting tips from tables they wait on. When you’re not waiting a table your wage is practically nothing. That is the struggle of training. Not only was I working part-time between 2 jobs but much of my time was getting paid about 2/3 of what I was making hourly cooking. Fewer hours, less money, it was the freight train coming through the tunnel.

I didn’t know how broke I was until I was on my lunch break at one of my gym jobs. I had walked to a nearby supermarket to buy a protein bar and bottled water. When my debit card was declined it was a cold shot of reality. I couldn’t afford water and a protein bar. I had to return the water.

I had a brief resurgence when I reopened a credit card I had closed a few years earlier. This was quickly maxed out to pay rent and bills. Within a matter of weeks, I was back where I was before, unable to buy food and likely a week away from not having enough money to pay any bills or rent. My lowest point came when I had to borrow money from a client I was training. I didn’t ask, but she had seen a social media post where I had vented a little. She reached out and made the offer and I had to swallow a lot of pride and accept the money.

This couldn’t continue. By this point I had been a trainer for 2 ½ years, I had turned 40 and didn’t know how much longer I could go on before I had to give up. I was working at 1 gym at this point and remember it like yesterday. It was May 2018 and I asked my boss for more hours as I was having a lot of trouble making ends meet. He said ‘bring in more clients and I’ll give you more hours.’ I knew then that a change was coming.

I was thrown a lifeline by an old friend I had cooked with a few years earlier. He had moved on to cooking in a retirement home but was now leaving there to move to Maine. He asked me if I wanted his job. Going back to cooking after 2 ½ years away was not what I had thought I’d have to do. However, it was again guaranteed hours and guaranteed money. Plus cooking in a retirement home sounded far less stressful than Cape Cod restaurants in the summer.

One interview later and I had the job. All that was left was telling my boss at the gym that I was out. I was surprised at how surprised he was at my news. I told him it was 100% financial and that I had asked him for hours but he needed to have strings attached to it. I wasn’t giving up on being a personal trainer but at that point, I had to take a step back to go forward.

Cooking in a retirement home was definitely a change of pace. It was new yet familiar. The people I worked with there were fun and helpful and made me not feel like a failure for having to step back into a position I thought I’d left behind. I did keep my toes in the training pool though.

One thing about being a trainer is that when you work with people trying to improve their lives you develop a relationship, a trust. When I got ready to leave my gym job I had to break the news to my clients. Several of them asked me to train them in their homes. My boss at the gym was a former used car salesman. He had no idea of what it was to be a trainer so he thought I could be replaced and none of my clients would bat an eye. That was wrong.

A few people had to switch trainers as I simply didn’t have the time to take on more than a handful of clients. The icing on the cake for me, when it came to the ignorance of my now-former boss, was when it came to one particular client I was to train in-home.

She had worked with me through her first pregnancy and when she returned to the gym she found it hard to get to the gym with a newborn. Training in-home was the perfect solution. My old boss had the hair-brained scheme of sending a new trainer to her house to work with her. Needless to say, she was not having that.

In-home training taught me how to essentially run my own training business and craft workouts all on my own. In time I would leave cooking again and take another swipe at personal training as my main job. This time had far better results.

However, there is a big difference between a job and a passion. I enjoy being a trainer but my passion, my dream, has always been something different.

Remember that nothing is forever. Just because you fail, or feel like you've failed, does not mean that is the end of the story. I believe it was the band Semisonic who said 'Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.' 

Next: Part 5 - There Is No Expiration Date On Your Dreams

Previous: Part 3 - There's No Textbook For Dealing With Grief and Loss

Thank You, Jack

     Jack Connors doesn’t need me to eulogize him. His passing made headlines in the local newspapers and nightly news. At the end of this, I will link to his obituary for those who might have no idea who he is.
     In short, he was a legend in Boston-based advertising and a dominating force in philanthropy for decades. Money, fame, respect, he had it all. So no, Jack doesn’t need me to eulogize him. So I’m not going to.
     Instead what I am going to do is tell a little story about the Jack Connors that I knew and that I owed so much to.
     My first introduction to Jack occurred in 2006. He had a summer home near the Marshside Restaurant where I had worked in Dennis on Cape Cod for years. Jack was a frequent patron of our rustic but beloved establishment. It was a homey place with delicious food that ran the gamut from pancakes and lobster rolls to prime rib and turkey clubs. We had a staff that was more like family, many of us working together for ten or more years.

Closing time at the original Marshside

     I describe the Marshside in this way not just because it’s how I feel, but because it’s how Jack felt. This came into play when the opportunity came for him to buy the restaurant.
     Now, I was not privy to why Marylou who had owned it for decades was selling. I knew our building needed a good amount of work. We sometimes skated by on inspections due to people knowing people. And don’t get me started about our barn across the parking lot which doubled as a prep room and food storage area. That being said the restaurant was always immaculately clean and we all took great pains to keep things that way on the inside even if the outside looked like it might fall over.
     Whatever her reason was Marylou and Jack made a deal in 2007. He would buy the Marshside and be essentially a silent owner while Marylou continued to run the day-to-day operations. Whether it had been dire straits for the business or not it would continue on thanks to Jack.
     This is where the true measure of who Jack was as a person became apparent to us who worked there.
     The staff was told by Marylou of the plans. The Marshside was being sold to Jack with her staying on in basically a General Manager role. We would close at the end of August. After that, the rustic clam shack was to be torn down with a new more modern restaurant arising in its place in time for the following summer.

Some of the crew from those final days of the original Marshside

     We made plans for a big final shindig at the old Marsh. Everything must go. We closed that night for service and then ate, drank, were merry, and took nearly everything that wasn’t nailed down. I still have counter chairs and glass fish plates kids used to this day. We also took food and of course booze(open bottles only). I mean hey it was going to be thrown away right? I only took a bottle of Jack Daniels.
     The next week all that was left of the Marshside was a hole in the ground. Even the barn that had served as our prep room and food storage area was torn down.
     But what of us? What of the loyal staff?
     Before we left on the day that Marylou had first announced the sale of the restaurant she asked me, and several others if we planned on coming back when the new place opened. I said yes. That is when my mind was blown.
     She told me that the plan was for Jack to pay me, full-time, for the entire time the restaurant was being rebuilt. I was to be paid to stay at home. Out of sheer kindness and respect this man who didn’t know us really, or owe us anything, was going to spend likely what amounted to easily over six figures to keep us on for when the new Marshside opened.

Standing in the hole where the Marshside once stood

     He didn’t have to do that. Jack could have easily let us all go and brought in his own staff. He surely knew some heavy hitters in the Boston restaurant scene that could have helped launch his new venture. But no, he lived up to his word.
     I was paid a 40-hour salary for what ended up being nine months. Nine. Months.
     This allowed me the opportunity to write several books and spend countless afternoons at the Cape Cod Community College library. This was thanks to Jack.
     Now, don’t get me wrong, as much as I knew it would end I had days where I wished I could just live the life of a writer getting paid and hanging out in the library. When the time came to reopen in June I was there.
     I vividly remember sitting in the sparkling new restaurant with the rest of the crew. Jack held court and gave us the rundown of what was to happen from that moment on. He also explained why he undertook this endeavor.
     In what I would come to really appreciate Jack gave a very dry humorous explanation. He said he was looking for new ways to lose money. We had no idea at the time that it had already cost him several million dollars to go from a clam shack to a modern casual dining establishment. Sure it hardly made a dent in his overall wealth, but that’s a large chunk of change.
     I cannot say for sure but I believe it took at least a few years for the restaurant to turn a profit for Jack.

     We on the staff definitely earned some of the money Jack had paid during the time off during those first weeks of reopening. I know that I worked 110 hours in that first week alone. That’s no typo, and that was a lot of overtime. Roughly 8am to 11pm, give or take, every day. Still, we did it because it was our form of payback for Jack’s confidence in us.
     Then came a hard left turn. In the spring of 2010 Marylou, our leader, our guiding light, and one of the hardest-working people I’ve ever known, suddenly passed away. This took Jack from a silent owner to having to be right on the front lines. There is no way it was what he wanted or expected, but he did it out of respect for Marylou.

Before opening at the new Marshside

     The 2010 season was tough, but we all banded together and made it through for Marylou. After that though, after the care and respect that Jack showed us. After he continued the Marshside when he could have easily said ‘This isn’t working for me,’ and sold it or closed it. I can only speak for myself but I know I stayed to return the favor of respect to Jack.
     Despite being worth a staggering amount of money. Despite being known and respected throughout the country. Despite having the option to be the stereotypical ‘rich man’ Jack went the opposite way. He would come into the restaurant through the kitchen like the staff, making a point to shake hands or hug everyone he crossed paths with.
     Jack would make you feel important when he had no obligation to. He did it because he was a decent human. He wasn’t born rich and I think that helped him remember that we all are humans doing the best we can to navigate through life.
     I ended up staying working in the kitchen at the Marshside for much longer than I intended to. This boiled down to two things. One was my true and honest feelings that those I worked with, especially those I worked with for many years, were family and I owed it to them. The second thing was the gratitude to Jack.
     I don’t know if the Marshside needed saving when he bought it. If it did or didn’t the bottom line is that it is still going strong today because of the work and the money he put into it. His legacy is so far beyond rebuilding the Marshside, but to me, that is his defining achievement because it affected me personally.

     I kept my job because of Jack. I was paid, full-time, to sit at home for nine months because of Jack. I learned that wealth doesn’t have to make you a cold and uncaring person because of Jack. I called him Mr. Connors the first time I met him but he softly insisted I call him Jack.
     I was honestly surprised at how much hearing that he had died hit me, but I shouldn’t have been. Just how he approached us in the days after Marylou’s death earned him all of the loyalty and respect I could offer.
     There are so many who knew Jack far better than me. He had a wonderful family, at least who I met, and my heart goes out to them, especially his wife Eileen. Like I said at the top, Jack Connors doesn’t need me to eulogize him, and his family doesn’t need me to either. That being said it can’t hurt for them to hear how Jack positively affected me, and I’m just some random line cook who happened to work at his happiest ‘money loser’ that he had.
     I will end this off by simply saying thank you Jack for everything. You lived a great and important life sir, rest in peace.

c. Camp Harbor View.org

Jack Connors Obituary