Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #142: The Cabin Movie Shoot Epilogue

1. It is amazing how, despite not drinking alcohol in 6 years, I can still feel hungover. The long, long drive home from western New York to Cape Cod to finish off my movie shoot for The Cabin was as taxing to my body as running a half marathon used to be. I got home at 11pm on a Sunday, quickly unpacked, and collapsed into bed. Normally, if possible, I’d have slept as late as I could have. Unfortunately, past-me figured it would be smart to return my rental car at 9am on Monday. This meant that sleeping in wasn’t possible. Energy drinks helped wake me up much like they did every morning when I was in Pennsylvania. I took advantage of every split second that I had to wake up before heading out. Not wanting to get in any trouble, I stopped and filled the gas tank. I was dreading the drop-off of the car at the Hyannis Airport. One, because the website said for me to have my rental agreement with me. That had been left on my couch, as one would expect. That didn’t end up being an issue, though. Second, I was worried about my adventures down the toll roads when driving from Cape Cod out to Pennsylvania. I thought the rental place might have questions about the tolls, or why I put 1,200 miles on the car I rented. Surprisingly, that was not an issue either, although I did get an email a few days later explaining that my card on file had been charged for the tolls. This was expected. I was a bit surprised that the tolls weren’t more. It ended up being $4.31, which is a bit of a random number. In the end, the rental drop-off went as well as I could have hoped.

Back to the airport to drop off the car.

2. I was lucky that my sister Ashley had offered to pick me up from the airport. This meant that after a text, all I had to do was sit and wait. The airport was quiet. It was Labor Day, but I still thought there might have been more people flying in or out. Then again, the Hyannis airport itself is relatively small, so I don’t know what ‘busy’ looks like there. I sat on a couch in the lounge area scrolling my phone. The entrance doors parted and in walked a very cute girl. Yes, I looked up, and she definitely caught my eye. After checking in at the desk, she wheeled her luggage over and sat down on a couch across from me. This sounds like the start of some cheesy rom-com, but unfortunately that’s not reality. I looked over, not too much, though. All I kept thinking was, ‘What do I say to not become a joke that she tells her friends wherever she’s going?’ Not wanting to be perceived as a creep, I kept quiet until I eventually got up and went outside to sit in the sun. Maybe we would have hit it off, and I missed my chance, but with the way the world is today I didn’t want to risk it. I kept picturing her telling her friends, ‘so this random guy tried to pick me up in the airport lounge.’ That was enough for me to pass.


3. Labor Day Monday, it was a beautiful morning on Cape Cod. Bright sun, low humidity, temperatures in the low 60s. I actually did prefer sitting outside rather than on the couch inside. Too bad that girl didn’t come wandering out. Anyway, I was awaiting my sister Ashley. My brain was like mush after the 10+ hours of driving the day before, so I was off in my own world as time went by. Eventually, I got a text from Ashley saying she was there. I immediately sprang to life and looked around but didn’t see anything that looked like her car. I asked where she was, and she said she was by the car rental drop-off. She said she’d come back around. How had I missed her? I stood up and waited by the curb. It was then that I realized what the problem had been. Ashley had the same SUV for 10 years or more. I was looking for that car when, in reality, only a few weeks earlier she had gotten a new car. So she had driven right past me, and I didn’t bat an eye because I forgot she had gotten a new car. We both had a laugh.


4. The week I had in Pennsylvania was truly one of the best times of my life. An interesting thing happened while I was away, though. Several horrible things happened to my family. My Aunt Amy, my mom’s youngest sister, had a serious medical issue that now requires her to have a more watchful eye placed upon her by the rest of her siblings. That could have been worse, but it was still a major happening. My stepfather, in the span of three weeks, lost both his mother and one of his sisters. His sister died while I was away. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if I lost my mom and one of my sisters in less than a month. With that, all we can do is be there if he needs us, but I try not to push or pry if he doesn’t want it. Lastly, my sister Ashley had to put her beloved dog Buddha down. She got some terrible medical news that told her that his life was going to end soon. Whether that was days or weeks, it wasn’t long. He had been the center of her world for nearly 10 years, and it was heartbreaking that he was gone almost in a flash. She felt guilty about putting him down, but the reality was that he would have kept going downhill and suffering more with each passing day. It doesn’t make the hurt any less, but she did make the right choice. All of that happened during my time off, when I had the best week. It felt as though, to allow for my happiness, the universe had to balance it out by giving suffering to my loved ones.

RIP Buddha

5. It was bittersweet when I stopped at my mother’s to retrieve my car. I was bursting with joy and stories, but with all of the bad that had happened to the family, I felt almost a sense of guilt for wanting to share it. To be fair, they all felt bad as well, like they had no control over the events that happened or their timing. I sat and would tell stories when warranted, but I’d also sit back and listen when my mom or Ashley wanted to share some of what they had gone through. It is a good lesson to be learned. Good times and bad times can happen at the same time. It can be an ebb and flow. I didn’t get upset if my wonderful experiences were somewhat muted on that day. There would, and will, be plenty of time to reflect and reminisce. Sometimes you have to be present and go where the conversation and situation take you. Sure, I’d love to have been celebrated like a returning hero or something like that. Even if it didn’t happen like that, it doesn’t mean my family wasn’t happy for me. Plus, with the holidays coming up in a flash, I will have ample opportunity to regale the family with stories of my adventures filming The Cabin.


6. The most difficult part of my return to the daily grind of my everyday life was feeling like I was being stuffed into a box that no longer fit. I honestly do try to enjoy each moment, each adventure, and be present and grateful. However, I will also admit that every time I have something amazing happen in a part of my life where my passion lies, and then I have to go back to the daily grind, I feel let down. I feel like each time I am forced back into my cage, I have failed. I feel like I am given a chance to break through in one of the creative fields that drives me, and then when I have to go back to my day job, I am like a defeated animal with my tail tucked between my legs. This feeling drives me to put my all into any creative opportunity that I have, but it also takes away from the opportunity itself. I have this underlying sense of desperation at all times. I am not 25 and stepping through the doors for the first time. I am rapidly closing in on 50 and have spent 20 years knocking on doors, windows, anything that might show me the way. I don’t mind the grind, but the grind without the progress can feel pointless. I felt that way when returning to work after filming The Cabin. It was like a hangover. I could not concentrate for days. Anytime I wasn’t actively doing something, I felt restless, like I needed to be at home working on another project to help me capitalize on the momentum. It took a while to settle back into the ‘normalcy’ of daily life.


7. When dealing with a dopamine crash like I have been doing since returning from filming The Cabin, you kind of do what you have to do to feel better. For me, since I couldn’t immediately start work on another movie, and I didn’t have another book event until the first week of October, I had to find things that gave me that same satisfaction as the movie shoot did. The easiest thing to do is to eat the foods that make you happy. No, these are typically not vegetables and other healthy options. When I feel down, I go for the worst. Fast food, pizza, Chinese food, cereal, junk food snacks. During my road trip, I didn’t have the time or the bandwidth to stop and slow down and choose meals wisely. I had to get whatever took the least amount of effort. That was usually one of the options I named above. So once back home and feeling pretty deflated, I went back to those foods. Since I was eating them while on the movie shoot, it was the quickest and easiest way to mimic those good feelings I had while I was in Pennsylvania. I have also learned in the last several years when dealing with rough times that it’s okay to allow yourself to do what you have to do to get through that stretch of time. When I was a distance runner, which ended in 2019 due to injuries, I never would have allowed myself to indulge. I was borderline obsessed with my physical appearance. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look as good as you can, but I know now it was an obsession based on how my brain has reacted since those days ended. I forced myself to be as restricted as possible in my diet, and now when I get the chance to eat some unhealthy foods, my brain is more than happy to dive in headfirst. I am sure this current dopamine crash after the movie shoot will end, likely only when I start doing another exciting project. Until that time, it’s just going day by day and doing the best I can to navigate this stretch of time.

I have seen quite a bit of these over the last few years.

8. I had made a vow before heading out to Pennsylvania that while I was there I’d take every opportunity to get behind-the-scenes photos and videos. I did not disappoint myself. Immediately upon returning to Cape Cod, I started working on putting some videos together. Each day I was on location, I shot a vlog detailing what had happened the previous day. These ended up being invaluable because I was recalling in real time what had happened. When I returned to Cape Cod, I realized just how overstuffed my brain was. It was like I crammed a month’s worth of memories into a week. Naturally, some things would have been lost if I hadn’t been so diligent with my footage. I could realistically end up with a couple dozen different pieces of content from what I shot. From the vlogs, to a large cast interview, to individual cast interviews, random scenery, and more, I could stitch together weekly content from now until the end of the year. If nothing else, through my content creator journey, and probably long before that, I have become an advanced-level self-promoter. When I first wrote and self-published ebooks in 2007, including The Cabin, I knew I had to be the one to promote myself. It’s nice to have family and friends every now and then share your work, but you can’t depend on anyone but yourself to share your creations with the wider world. I have always said that if you are in any sort of creative field and someone else is promoting your work more than you are, then you really aren’t putting in the work. I still believe and stand by that. So get ready for loads of Cabin content. Actually, that includes this blog as well, so you’re already a part of it.




9. There is a popular saying: Strike while the iron is hot. It basically means that when you have momentum, you keep moving forward, even if you’re a bit tired and worn out. In order to stave off the dopamine crash, I have been trying to fill my calendar with projects that are in my wheelhouse as far as passions go. Book events, interviews, developing content, these are all things that I have been doing. One thing that came up faster than expected was a script for a potential second feature film. Yes, I had an idea for the next movie. It is in the same vein as The Cabin as far as cast size and budget. Small and relatively cheap. However, I had thought that it would be next spring when I’d start working on that script. Then I got a message from my friend Frank, who said there might be someone interested in investing in that film. They want to see what the film is all about before putting any money into it. That means the time to work on the script was now. I put myself on lockdown to try to get the first draft done as soon as possible. It didn’t have to be perfect, just a placeholder for the potential investor to see. As of this blog, the first draft of the script is done. However, it won’t be known if we have an investor likely for a little while. Like I said, you have to strike while the iron is hot. Who knows, if I said I couldn’t get the script done until the spring, the investor might have said they weren’t interested anymore.


10. I guess if I had to sum up my experience with The Cabin, it would come down to one word: gratitude. I am so grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life. I have had family that has always supported my dreams and goals. I have had friends who have become chosen family and not let me give up on myself. Hell, a lot of these people have believed in me and my dreams more than I have at times. Through issues of self-worth, through crises of confidence, good times, and bad times, I have been so lucky to have who I do in my life. This is not limited to those I have known for twenty or thirty years or more. I have found newer people that have drifted into my orbit, sometimes out of nowhere, who have helped to supply my passions with a fresh boost of rocket fuel. I work hard, and have for going on twenty years. When it comes to my creative endeavors, I will put in as much work as I need to. When people are willing to put their money behind something I have wanted for so long, it humbles and inspires me. I’m not saying that the only way to support me is financially, but movies don’t come cheap. I put in some of my own money, but it took a village of family, friends, and some total strangers to make The Cabin happen. Those people believed in the project; the director, Mark Polonia, believed in the project. Everyone who acted in the film or had anything to do with it, they all believed in it. I believe that we created something fun and unique. We worked hard to validate those beliefs. In the end, I am so grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity. I am grateful for the experience and all that I learned during my time on location. I am grateful for those who believe in me. I am grateful for those who helped bring this film to life. Thank you all, and here’s to the next exciting chapter not just of The Cabin, but of the movie that I like to call my life.

Thank you everyone!

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #85: Labor Day, Angry Eyebrows, Wings of Love, etc.

1. Growing up on Cape Cod in the 1980s, I can remember a tradition we had on Labor Day. People would walk from their homes to a nearby overpass, if they lived close enough, and they would wave to the throng of vehicles exiting the Cape. It was a fun tradition, I know I partook in a few times. It was a celebration of the end of tourist season, but more gratefully and thankfully. We appreciated the crowds that chose to come and spend their time and money on our little peninsula. I don’t know if anyone still does that on the Cape in the 2020s. I haven’t heard of it in any great way since the 90s. I feel as though some people who visit now are rude and entitled. They treat locals like we’re their servants and we should kiss their feet because they grace us with their presence. Like I said, this is ‘some,’ and probably a small percentage, but those people make Labor Day feel more like a celebration of getting rid of tourists rather than a celebration of a wonderful summer.


2. I would like to think that I have a pretty strong stomach. I mean, after all, I grew up in the 1980s, where we could rent disgusting horror movies as kids. That strong stomach got put to the test at work this week. There was a woman who came in to use our PEMF (Pulsed Electromagnetic Field) machine to help speed the healing of an injury. She needed to lie down on a padded table with her leg elevated on a thick green bolster to feel more comfortable. I was training a client in the gym next door, but once I was done and had a free moment, I went back into the therapy room to get the PEMF machine set up for the next patient. That is when I noticed that the bolster had a pretty sizable wet patch on it. Now I know what you’re thinking. No, it was not pee. Oh no, it was actually more gross than that. What I haven’t mentioned is that the woman had a bandaged wound on her leg, which is what she was trying to heal. Yup, you’ve got it right, the giant wet patch on the bolster was weeping fluid from her wound. It looked as though someone had poured a full bottle of water on the bolster and table. It was just disgusting and a bit disrespectful and careless of this person to use our facilities with a severely leaking wound, and wearing shorts to boot. Unreal. Needless to say, that bolster was quickly carried out to the dumpster.


3. Not far from where I live, they are in the beginning stages of building a new bike path extension. It is located on a walking route through a golf course that I like to go on a few times a month. It is fun to see the progress. This week I really got a show. I was walking when I noticed three large trucks coming down the bike path toward me. Needless to say, that’s something you don’t see very often on a bike/walking path. After seeing the trucks driving to get to where the extension is set to begin, I thought I was done with vehicles on the trail. Nope, right after I also had to dodge what had to be a golf course maintenance vehicle. I saw more motorized vehicles on the bike trail in one walk than I have in every other bike trail walk I’ve ever done combined. I also saw this wild traffic cone stalking those trucks. Nature at its best.



4. You have to respect people who try to pull a fast one despite fully knowing they’re going to fail. This example comes from visiting a Subway to get lunch one day. I order ahead through the app so I am in and out in a flash. However, I was in there long enough to watch a guy try to use a paper coupon on his meal at the register. Not only had this coupon expired, but the woman working the register remarked that it had expired by more than a year. You could see the expiration date on the coupon. Either this guy was ultra stupid and didn’t know how to use a calendar (shout out to people who think the last day of summer is Labor Day). Or this guy thought he was way smarter than he actually was. Honestly, I think both can be true, as most stupid people have disproportionately high levels of confidence.


5. To try to get some more donations for the When Henry Met Henry short film I am directing in October, I decided to take a location field trip. I went to Coast Guard Beach in Eastham to get some video and photos from the southern end near where Henry Beston’s Outermost House used to be. I figured a little narrated video from that spot might entice a few more people to donate to the fundraiser. Of course, I couldn’t just do the easy route and drive to the beach. I decided to park at the Cape Cod National Seashore visitor’s center and walk the bike trail to the beach and back. It was a perfect afternoon. I ended up doing about 6 miles, with more than 2 of those being a beach walk. I loved every second of the walk, but was wiped out afterward. I was so tired that I was sitting on the ground at the amphitheater behind the visitor’s center. I would have stayed there longer, but about a dozen ants started circling me, and I didn’t want any trouble, so I left.


6. On a curvy road not far from me, there is a speed detector. You know, one of those contraptions that shows the speed limit on that road and then your speed, typically in a large digital font. Usually, these detectors flash your speed, and then if you go over the limit, your speed either flashes or changes color, or something like that. This particular detector does neither. Once you go above the speed limit, your speed disappears and is replaced with a ‘slow down.’ If you keep going, it is then replaced by a pair of eyes with angry eyebrows. Seriously? If you got caught speeding on this road, what are they going to tell you as far as how fast you were going? ‘Sorry sir you were going ‘angry eyebrows’ in a 25 zone.’ So stupid.


7. Back in 1982, a singer named Jeffrey Osborne released a song called ‘On the Wings of Love.’ It peaked at #29 on the Billboard Hot 100. I definitely remember it as a kid. What does this have to do with this past week? My sister Ashley was insisting that she recalled a comedy sketch where Osborne had opened a restaurant appropriately named ‘Wings of Love.’ It was a chicken wing joint. Despite searching the internet, she couldn’t find any such sketch. Well, I took the bet and decided to create my own advertisement for Jeffrey Osborne’s chicken wing establishment, ‘Wings of Love.’ So here you go. Yes, my insanity and humor blend seamlessly.


8. It’s pretty sad that you can have a pair of flashing lights at a bike trail crossing and drivers will still just blow through and not stop if you’re standing there. It happens more than it should. Luckily, I stop and wait, rather than just walking across and assuming that people know that the crazy flashing lights mean to stop. During one walk this week, there was one car that stopped for me and another that just flew through. It’s like you’re either not paying attention when you drive, or you’re just a piece of garbage who doesn’t care about anyone but yourself. It’s just simple common courtesy and respect. I need to start carrying a rock in my pocket to throw at someone if they don’t stop.


9. As some of you know, back in March, I filmed a small role in a campy indie horror film, Cape Cod Cthulhu. It was my first acting gig, and I was told it was pretty good, which is always nice to hear. I have lots of footage I’ve been waiting to share to coincide with the film being released. There is an interview with one of the stars, and then a bigger interview with several of the cast and crew. It was such a fun experience, and I have been waiting for some news on the film’s release. Well, I can share the trailer for the film here. I don’t know the firm release date for streaming and DVD’s but it seems to be late October. I’ll keep you posted but until then, enjoy the first trailer for Cape Cod Cthulhu.



10. I am typically very easy to please. I would like to do amazing things and achieve huge amounts of success, but in reality, I am about as low-maintenance as they come. For example, this week I went out driving in the rain. I was listening to a podcast and I had an idea of where I wanted to go. I went to a beach that was deserted. There I parked in a far corner of the lot, turned off the car, and listened to the podcast while the rain poured all around me. It was so bland and mundane and perfectly soothing. I would love to travel the world and see everything there is to see, but honestly, I feel like I get the same amount of satisfaction from sitting in an empty beach parking lot in the rain listening to a podcast.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #82: Summer Sprinting, Rock Band Formation, Retired Mall Rat, etc.

1. I used to be a borderline-elite runner in my heyday. An injury to my right hip when speed training for a 5K in 2017 caused a slow decline in both my speed and distance until I basically retired from running races for 7 years. I have mentioned several times in this blog about Monday Runday with my friend Mike. We discuss how simply being there motivates us to try to run longer or faster. I typically try to go easy on myself as I’m not training for any race. I have noticed over the last few weeks that something is changing. I don’t want to walk, and I can’t run long distances, really, currently. I have found the sweet spot with long sprints. I walk ¼ mile and then sprint the next ¼ mile. Each week, I get one of those sprints faster. This week I had 2 ¼ mile sprints dip under 7-minute pace, topping out at 6:45. For me, it was the fastest I’ve run since probably 2019. It was a big accomplishment. Of course, my body said enough was enough, and I ended up having to walk most of the rest of the time, but next week I’ll be there trying to top it.


2. For way too many years I worked in restaurants. The summertime was a particularly rough time. It would be super hot, always busy, and it felt like as we got into the beginning of August, everybody was in some stage of burnout. I assumed that not being a part of the unforgiving restaurant industry would put an end to the summer burnout feeling, but I was wrong. I have it now. I don’t know if it is the heat, the amount of brain-dead people I encounter, or maybe just a general unhappiness enhanced by both of those other things. Either way, I feel a general fatigue. I have seen that summer burnout is a real thing, but there’s not much I can do to overcome it besides just being patient. My yearly vacation starts on August 22nd and I won’t be back to work until after Labor Day, so I just need to hold out a little longer.


3. Speaking of that vacation. I had grand plans of a several-day road trip through Northern New England, much like last year. However, that summer burnout has made just the thought of driving 4 hours north too much. I’m not saying that I’m not going to do some sort of road trip this year. I just might end up doing a more spontaneous trip, or a series of shorter day trips. It’s funny, I read that the ‘summer burnout’ feeling can come from pressure to enjoy summer while it’s here. I almost feel a little pressure to do lots of stuff on my vacation. In reality, it should be more about relaxing and enjoying a lot of free time, more than where I go to do it. Man, that sounds lame.

How I currently feel.

4. My Grampa was my hero and role model. He is the man I try so hard to emulate. As much as social media can be a drain on people mentally due to the abhorrent behavior of some people, it does give me a gift I will always treasure. When my Grampa died 6 years ago, his Facebook page went into limbo. There is nobody there to remove it so it stands frozen in time. It is a forever memory of him that I can go to visit every now and then. I just went and took a trip through our chats. It was nothing earth-shattering, mostly me asking him questions about his old donut shop or potential people to interview for my restaurant book. That doesn’t matter. For a few moments, it felt like he was still here. I was almost tempted to send him a message.


5. I might have witnessed the beginning of the next big rock band. I was in a grocery store where there is a guy who works nights. He’s got to be around 20, but he stocks shelves and tends to scream/sing songs as he does it. This is complete with a denim jacket with various metal band logos stitched into it, and copious B.O. that seeps through said jacket. On this visit, I saw him meet another man, probably early-30s, in the soda aisle. They began discussing the instruments they played and planned to chat later. The employee was so excited by the prospect of starting a band that when he didn’t have a pen and paper to give his number (he did so because the other guy said his phone was in his car), he basically ran to the service desk to get one. So if these two form a band that becomes the next Iron Maiden, I’ll know I was there to see the beginning of their journey. Maybe I’ll be in the biopic!


6. It’s no secret that fall is my favorite time of year. Basically, from Labor Day to the end of the year is my jam. I mean I already mentioned it in this blog. So when the Halloween products make their debut, I am all about it. One favorite pastime is getting to eat the famed ‘Monster Cereals.’ For those who don’t know, these are Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Frankenberry. I had spotted them a few weeks back in a grocery store but didn’t take the bait. That changed this week. I just had to snag a box of Count Chocula, which is my favorite. Yes, there is still a month of summer left, but what could be better than enjoying Count Chocula while summer is still going strong? How about some sort of pumpkin spice-flavored treat as well? That’s next on the list.

7. August feels like the month where we lose the most daylight. Well, besides November, when we do the stupid Daylight Savings Time. I checked, and at least here on Cape Cod, the sun sets on August 1st at 7:58pm and at 7:15pm on August 31st. So we lose 43 minutes. Not sure if that’s more or less than any other month, and I don’t feel like doing tons of research. Maybe it’s because all of the Halloween and deals are everywhere in August and kids start going back to school. It is a reminder to all those who love summer the most to get out there and enjoy it because before you know it, we’ll have sunsets at 5pm and frost on the ground.


8. I have several ‘favorite’ run/walk routes near where I live. I am very lucky to be able to put on sneakers and just go to some amazing places. One such route leads through a historic district. The back roads eventually bring you to the busy stretch of beaches along the south coast of Cape Cod. The scenery along this route truly is the stuff that people come from hundreds of miles away to vacation here for. Along this route is one of my favorite houses. It just speaks to me for some reason. It is all red but nothing overly luxurious. It had been sold probably 15 years ago and I made the joke that next time it was for sale, maybe I’d be able to buy it. Well, as luck would have it the house it currently for sale again. Unfortunately, the prices of houses everywhere, especially on Cape Cod, have gone up exponentially. This means that nope, I can’t afford to buy it. In fact, according to Zillow, it’s valued at $1.2 million. This is even with a $50K price cut. To showcase how ridiculous house prices are, this exact house is worth more than double what it was in 2016. The bottom line is that if I ever want to own a home, it’s likely not going to be in the place where I grew up, which basically sucks. Nothing else to say.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/181-Pleasant-St-South-Yarmouth-MA-02664/55930971_zpid/?utm_campaign=zillowwebmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare


9. It’s funny how times change. When I was in high school in the 1990s, I loved spending Friday evenings just hanging out, walking the corridors of the Cape Cod Mall. I might not have been the most prolific ‘mall rat’ but I still was one. I can count on one hand with fingers left the number of times I’ve been to that mall this year. I added one this week only because I was jonesing for some Chinese food from a scoop and serve spot in the foot court. I will admit I did stop for a moment and debate taking a little stroll. Maybe when summer is over, I will revisit my youth by wasting time and money there but not right now. The Chinese food was great as always, though.


10. I had a day this week where I ate really poorly for lunch, like fast food poorly. The guilt and shame crept up and I ended up forcing myself to go for a walk. I have a certain route I can take, which is roughly 3 miles each way to get to the doors of my old middle school. It is now closed down. In reality, the first 3 schools I attended are no longer in operation but that’s a different story. I decided to try to remember the old route my friends and I would occasionally take to walk home through the woods. It coincides with the trail the cross-country team would run. I started down this empty wooded pathway, unsure of where I was going. All the while I was listening to an episode of True Crime Obsessed, the podcast co-hosted by my old school friend Patrick Hinds. It was fitting as I kept looking over my shoulders to make sure I wasn’t being stalked. After feeling lost for a bit I did eventually make it to the school grounds. It was a very meta moment to be at the front doors of where I went to school in 6th through 8th grade, while listening to the voice of someone I’d see in those hallways all the time as he talked about Cape Cod and his high school best friend. I enjoyed that until I had to walk the 3+ miles back to my car.

Class is not in session.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #80: Dream-Life Hangover, Phantom Oil Change, Supermarket Happiness, etc.

1. Anytime I get a taste of my dream job as a content creator, or filmmaker, or author, it’s a good thing. This past weekend, getting to see my old classmate’s one-man show inspired me. Speaking to him after I made sure to tell him that I use him as an inspiration for continuing my journey. It leaves me motivated to work on whatever my next project is. However, as soon as I walk into my day job after experiencing that motivation, I feel empty. I feel like I have failed. When I have my ‘days off’ to work on my other passions, I think, ‘this is the time I’ll get that big break.’ When it doesn’t happen and I have to go back to my typical work day, I feel like someone let the air out of my balloon. It’s almost like a dream-life hangover. Maybe one day it won’t be a dream anymore.

From after the show.

2. Several years ago, I bought software to convert VHS tapes to digital. I have more than 65 hours of old tapes I recorded during high school, and I am trying to get them all digitized before the VHS tapes eventually break. I have Elgato Video Capture. It has always worked fine. I hadn’t used it in a year or so when I plugged the cables in. For some reason, the software wasn’t on my laptop anymore. No worries, I downloaded the necessary software and drivers to do the job. Or so I thought. It turned out there were certain functions I needed to turn off on my laptop to get the software to work. However, once those were turned off, my laptop said it was dangerous and I needed to turn those functions back on. It was like an ice cream headache. In the end, I needed to delete the drivers for Elgato. Easier said than done. I spent a few hours researching just how in the hell to get them off my laptop. I was reading that if all else failed, I’d need to contact Elgato and get a new CD-ROM of the software. Not bad right? Well unfortunately, my laptop doesn’t have a CD drive, so yay. It was like a comedy skit where I just wanted to vacuum my car, but somehow managed to set it on fire instead.

3. Okay, I have reached the ‘I’m ready for fall’ portion of the summer. When it’s nearly 100 degrees and humid, that’s enough for me. Several years ago, when I was young(er) and crazy, I looked forward to running in all sorts of bad weather. Too hot? Let’s go. Too cold? I have layers. Hurricane or Tropical Storm? Sunglasses block the blowing sand. Blizzard? I can hide in a house under construction. That last one is 100% real. Anyway, this week’s heat and humidity took me out of my desire to do any run or walk. I chose to hide inside in the air conditioning. Hey, at least I am doing some sort of work, like this blog entry. Wake me when Labor Day is here. Sorry, not sorry.

4. There is an age-old line about New England that goes something like this: If you don’t like the weather, just wait a few minutes. That is how it went this week. I just mentioned it being close to 100 degrees early in the week. Only a few days later, we had rain with highs in the mid-60s. Honestly, if I had to choose between the two, I’m taking the rainy 65-degree day over the sunny, humid 97-degree day. I will say that my idea of perfect weather is partly cloudy, low humidity, and temperatures in the low 70s, but that’s just me.

The weather is always changing in New England.

5. After 2 months and 4 pretty bad injuries, I was finally able to start going back to the gym. I managed to injure my lower back twice, sprain my ankle, and nearly break both hands. The only thing I was able to really do over the past 2 months was go for walks and eat my feelings of being depressed. My first workout was good but man, did I feel my regression. I was so tired and sore almost immediately. Now my joke is how long is it going to be before I injure something else? I’ll take sore muscles. That’s way better than some sort of foolish calamity that leaves me unable to work out for another 2 months.

6. I am now at the age where waking up at 8am is considered sleeping too late. If you had told me 10 years ago that I’d be used to waking up by 7am on most days, including days off, I’d have said something must have gone wrong. I’m not going to start setting an alarm on days off, though. Years ago, the idea of waking up at 5am to hit the gym before work was a definite no-go. Now I am starting to think that within a few years I’ll be naturally getting up at that time. I still won’t want to go to the gym, though, I’ll just surf the net before sunrise.

7. My car is up over 150K miles, so keeping up on the basic maintenance is very important. My goal is for it to get to at least 250K. This week, it was time for an oil change. I usually go to Jiffy Lube since it’s quick and convenient. I mean, they do try to upsell you on a lot of stuff, but that’s kind of par for the course. This time was interesting. Everything seemed to be going well until one of the crew told me they couldn’t get my oil filter off. They said they tried a few ways, but it was rounded and nothing could get it off. What? Is that a thing? They told me I’d need to go to the dealership and they could change it. The irony is that the last few times I’ve gotten my oil changed, it’s been at the same Jiffy Lube. Getting the oil filter off has never been a problem. So what changed this time? I have no idea, but they ended up changing the oil and doing a few other things and not charging me. That was nice. Unfortunately, this means I have to do another trip for routine maintenance, and a dealership at that. You can smell the attempted upselling from a mile away.

8. I don’t know why, but one of my favorite things is shopping in supermarkets that I don’t typically go to. I mean locations that are out of my normal routine. It’s like I go to a Shaw’s or Stop & Shop, and all of them are varying shades of the same color. Still, somehow it’s new and exciting. It’s even more so when I go on road trips. You get me off of Cape Cod and have me stop at a Big Y, Hannaford, Publix, Giant Food, Aldi, or Wegmans? Oh man, it’s like I’ve won the lottery. I have gone to those places on vacations and maybe (definitely) have kept plastic bags with the logos. I even have an insulated Big Y bag that I bought. It is currently holding extra copies of my books.

9. After having a shaved head for about 14 years, it is still weird to me that I have a full head of hair. In fact, my hair is currently probably as long as it’s been, maybe ever. I can spike it up pretty high when it’s wet. The funniest thing is that if it’s not spiked perfectly, I get the hair at the front of my head, right where my hairline and forehead meet, falling forward. It literally looks like I have bangs like my sisters did in high school. I do plan on getting it trimmed down at my next haircut though. Not because of the bangs but the hair will tickle my forehead, which makes me think I have a bug on me, especially at night. Oh well, I know loads of guys around my age that would kill for the ‘problem’ of having too much hair so I should be grateful.

10. We’re now about 3 weeks out from my vacation, and I’ve got to tell you I’m not feeling any sort of road trip. I haven’t booked any hotels yet, and I’m kind of glad. I am looking forward to the time off, but I can’t tell if I am burned out or not. I work full-time and then work almost full-time on my content, such as this blog. It can feel like I am on a treadmill with working. Maybe as I get closer to the actual vacation, I will get excited and make plans to go, at least do one overnight stay, but who knows? Originally, I had plans for three overnights up in Maine and New Hampshire but honestly, as we get closer to the dates, just the thought of driving over four hours has made me lose interest. It is definitely a fake problem to have. Oh no, I have a paid vacation but don’t know what I want to do with the time. I don’t expect any tears shed for my predicament.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog - #25: Squeaky Wheel, Soupy Air, Deja BBQ, etc

1. It usually pays to be a squeaky wheel. I placed an order a few weeks back for some books for an event I am speaking at on July 19^th. Everything was good on my end with the person at the publisher confirming my order. The only thing was I didn’t get any sort of receipt email or shipping confirmation. I reached out after the 4^th of July weekend just to be safe and sure enough, the person at the publisher had never even placed the order. Nice. That person was even away on vacation so if I had waited I’d never have gotten my books. Instead of pitching a fit I just thanked the new person who helped me, lest they get mad and then not place my order, again.

2. On Cape Cod it finally made it to the overwhelming heat and humidity that summer is known for this week. Wanting to keep on my running comeback trail I met a friend to do some evening running around a school track. It was so soupy that I felt like I had just gone swimming in my clothes. We also had done a lap around a neighboring cemetery, which was appropriate because I was so beat after that run that I could have just picked an open spot and dug myself a bed there.

3. So in a fitting bit of insanity I was at the grocery store and couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had any BBQ sauce at home. I thought I didn’t so I grabbed a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s. I got home and not only did I have BBQ sauce but it was Sweet Baby Ray’s down to the exact flavor, Sweet & Smokey. I am a creature of habit even when my mind is blank.

Maybe I have too many of the same BBQ sauce?

4. While on a bike trail run in the afternoon, I came to a road crossing. Coming out of a parking lot was a friend’s father. Not taking into account how I looked or sounded I just started yelling at him and waving. Now, he might not have heard me, or more likely he thought I was a wacko looking to carjack him. Or possibly his dog told him to floor it to get away from me.

5. For the last month or so I’ve been using Duolingo trying to relearn French. I took it for 4 years in school and was curious about what my brain retained even though it had been almost 30 years since I last studied it. Surprisingly more of the French came back than I expected. Granted I’m only into the 5^th unit of study but it’s almost like muscle memory except using your actual memory. Je suis impressionné!

6. One of the most annoying things while driving is when you stop to let a car pull out and then the car behind them comes barreling out too. Talk about entitled people. I let one car out at an intersection and then pulled forward to make my left turn when the car behind the one that pulled out began turning right into me. Luckily they actually looked at the last second and didn’t t-bone me. The looks on their faces plus their stupid vanity license plate confirmed their ‘entitled’ status.

7. I read this week that the current stretch of humidity, at least on Cape Cod, is the worst it has ever been for July. We are currently setting a record for most consecutive hours of the dew point above 72 degrees. By the time it(hopefully) gets drier late next week we will likely pass 260 straight hours of the soupiest air I’ve felt in my life. I like summer but am already looking forward to the crisp fall weather.

8. A true mark of my selective laziness is that my mother gifted me a nice new bedding set, sheets, pillow cases. She said I should wash them before putting them on my bed. I waited 2 days with the intention of not washing them and just using them. I mean how dirty could they be in a sealed package after all? I did relent though and threw them in the washer. At least now I won’t have to lie when she asks me if I did. I never could lie to my mother which I guess is a good trait.

9. Fun Fact: For most of my life I thought that the occupation known as a Notary Public was actually a Noted Republic. Misheard song lyrics, misheard job titles, it’s all the same. In case you were not sure of what it was A Notary Public is an official appointed by a state government to serve the public as an impartial witness during notarizations. I may or may not have had to look that up to make sure I was right.

10. There are summer days on Cape Cod where I don’t want to go to the gym because it’s packed like sardines in there and I’d rather be outside in the warm weather. There are summer days on Cape Cod where I don’t want to be outside driving because it’s packed like sardines on the roads and I worry about bad drivers. Then some days are both and I think it would be best to hibernate until Labor Day.

11. I am lucky that I live close enough to the Cape Cod Rail Trail that I can run it pretty much whenever I want. Over the years they have slowly expanded it west. It used to end suddenly at a random road after going through a golf course. In the last year they have continued expanding from there. It’s been little bits, a hundred feet here, hundred feet there. So in order to keep my designation of running every step of the CCRT I have to run to the new end each time it gets expanded. In total it’s been extended about 1,400 feet and I’ll be there when it goes to 1,500.

The new 'end of the line' on the bike trail

In My Footsteps Podcast Episode 111: Finding My Great-Grandfather's Biological Family; First Favorite TV Shows; Weird Connecticut Laws; Road Trip - Machias, ME(9-6-2023)

 

Episode 111 sheds some light on a very important discovery that happened during the podcast's hiatus earlier in 2023. I am the resident family historian. For years I had been searching for the biological family of my great-grandfather as my Nina revealed that he had been adopted. It was a long and often fruitless search but in March a breakthrough occurred. This week I will go into detail on how I found my Grampa Romano's biological family.
An oasis in Down East Maine. This week's Road Trip takes us to a spot I found on my way to somewhere else and that became a destination for me after that. We will travel this week to the beautiful small town of Machias, Maine.
Everyone has their own picks for their favorite television shows. But do you remember your first favorites? In the days of streaming and instant gratification, it is hard to remember the times when you had to be in your living room at a certain time to see a favorite show. This week we go way Back In the Day as I reveal some of my very first favorite TV shows.
More weird laws abound in this week's Top 5. After rolling through Rhode Island and Maine it is time to see what crazy and hilarious laws are on the books in the state of Connecticut.
As always there is a brand new This Week In History and Time Capsule looking back to when Labor Day was made a national holiday.
Find more content on YouTube, support the podcast if you want, and Buy Me A Coffee!

Helpful Links from this Episode

• The Lady of the Dunes.com
• Purchase My New Book Cape Cod Beyond the Dunes!
• In My Footsteps: A Cape Cod Travel Guide(2nd Edition)
• Kiwi's Kustoms - Etsy
• DJ Williams Music
• KeeKee's Cape Cod Kitchen
• Christopher Setterlund.com
• The In My Footsteps Podcast Blog
• Cape Cod Living - Zazzle Store
• Visit Maine.com - Machias
• Down East Sunrise Trail
• Stupid Laws.com

Listen to Episode 110 here