Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #57: Bloody Good, Diet Woes, Don't Call Me Sir, etc.

1. At my work we have something called compression therapy. You get wrapped up in these pads that squeeze your body stimulating the lymphatic system to get moving. It is great for your overall health. When you do this therapy it is 30 minutes you relax and then when the session is done someone comes in and unwraps you. If somebody has done the compression therapy enough they might feel comfortable enough to start unwrapping themselves to help. A person was doing that before I got in the room to assist them. It all seemed fine until I went back in to clean off the pads. It was then that I noticed the splatters of blood on different parts of the various pads. It looked like a crime scene. The worst part was there was another person set to use the compression therapy and as I wrapped them in the pads I kept noticing other drops of blood I had missed. I had no poker face and was horrified.

2. The only thing that could possibly rival the bloody good story above at work this week was the following. My boss got a great deal on a used mannequin. He intends to use it to display clothing featuring the business logo on it. Makes sense. The funny part was how it arrived. It was in pieces. So bringing in the top half and the arms was fine. However, nothing could prepare me for the sight of my boss walking in with this naked ass mannequin bottom up near his face. I couldn’t have written it any better. We ended up stashing it for a while in the compression therapy room but kept the door closed since it looked like we had killed and dismembered someone in there.

3. Only I could vacuum a room for several minutes not realizing the hose wasn’t attached. Granted I wondered why the vacuum had such terrible suction but it wasn’t until I turned around and saw the disconnected hose on the floor that it all made sense. I have said it a million times, I was born blond so don’t be shocked at stories like these.

4. I spent an evening tearing up an old carpet and then slicing it into strips with a box cutter. I was so focused on getting it done right after work that I didn’t bother to put any sort of mask on to protect me from dust. Eventually, I brought several contractor bags of rolled-up carpet slices outside. My body was exhausted from the workout. Then later on while relaxing not wearing a mask came back to haunt me as I got a major bloody nose from inhaling all of that dust and whatever else was underneath the carpet. Oh well, at least it got done.

Yeah, it was a little like this.

5. In the coming weeks I am shooting the scenes for my first acting gig. It’s funny because I made tons of skits as a kid with my camcorder and craft scripts for my podcast weekly yet trying to get lines I didn’t write memorized is really tough. I printed out all of my scenes and have had trouble getting the lines down. One solution I had was to print them out again, only in a much bigger font. It’s like speaking to a dog, and then saying the words again slower like that will suddenly make the dog understand you.

6. I could be on the strictest of diets but will never not be a sucker for a new flavor of Doritos. I have loved them since I was a kid and any time they release a new flavor I will try it. The latest proof of that is the Late Night Sizzlin’ Cheeseburger flavor. I definitely enjoy them. Every now and then some Doritos are okay, but when I see there are more flavors in this Late Night series that’s when the ominous music starts to play and I feel my pants begin to get tighter. Oh well, six-pack abs are overrated anyway, right?

Dangerously good.

7. Did my first real interior paint job this week. A subtle gray paint on half of my apartment. Luckily I wore clothes I was cool with throwing out because to no one’s surprise, I got paint all over me. Also, put in new flooring in the form of carpeted tiles. That was fun as well but hell on the knees. The room does look a lot better but my body needed a day to recover for sure.

8. I was under the impression on Instagram that once things you post on your story are gone (after 24 hours) nobody can see them except you in your own archives. This week I had some random person like a story of mine from 5 ½ years ago. Not sure how they got to see it. It was very creepy and suspicious that I immediately blocked them just to stop any weirdness before it really gets going. I mean you need to be a special kind of weirdo to deep dive someone’s IG story back more than 5 years.

9. This winter has been one long hibernation. It’s like I’ve done a lot of work, content-wise, but I feel like I’ve been holed up. I don’t know if it’s the cold. I don’t know if it’s being busy with work. I don’t know if I need a change physically to gain energy. Maybe it’s my diet being bad and my body doesn’t produce the energy from bad foods. One or all of these things need to change soon. This blah chapter feels like it’s run its course.

10. Being called ‘sir’ by someone much younger is still a very weird thing. I don’t feel that old (most days) so I definitely don’t feel like being called ‘sir’ is warranted. But I’m also not going to be some mid-life crisis guy who corrects someone young who calls me sir. It actually shows respect for your *ugh* elders. I mean I call people much older than me sir. Wait, so I guess I’m much older than these people? Man, it’s time for a nap followed by dinner at 4pm.

I'm not this guy...yet.

Initial Impressions 2.0 Blog #53: Liquid Crack, Secret Statues, Stupid Tattoos, etc.

1. I was saddened to learn that an old favorite energy drink was discontinued a year or so ago. RedLine drinks by VPX were super hardcore. Their little energy shots were the only energy supplement ever that affected me in such a way that I swore to never take them again. I had an old friend who would refer to RedLine as ‘liquid crack.’ I have been a Guinea pig for energy supplements for years. Now RedLine will join a list of products I enjoyed that have been discontinued because they are unsafe. I mean I guess that’s a good reason. I’ll miss you RedLine. Say hi in drink heaven to Ephedra Tea, Speed Stack, the original formula of Jack3d, and others.

RIP Redline

2. I am still in the learning phase of the camera on my new phone. This week I took a drive up to the Cape Cod Canal for some photos. I had a cool idea to attach my phone to my selfie stick which also has a tripod base. The idea was to get it all set so I could record myself driving out to this spot called Mashnee Island. It’s a beautiful scenic island with some homes on it. Anyway, I spent at least 10 minutes in a parking lot trying to get the setup to work to no avail. I gave up and didn’t even make the drive out to Mashnee. I went to the nearby Market Basket instead.

3. Icy mornings are no fun. They do make you appreciate spring and summer though. We had a storm this week where it was rain at first on Cape Cod and then transitioned to snow overnight. This meant that when it was time for me to leave for work I had to chisel caked ice off of my car windows and doors. After about 5 minutes of chiseling, I got tired and frustrated and decided it was time to leave regardless. Eventually, my windshield was cleared of ice by my heater and wipers. However, the first few minutes of my drive consisted of my head being cocked to one side so I could see out of a clear spot. Cold hands, neck pain, whatever.

4. I am not sure what is worse, or more disgusting. A person who chooses to not wipe their equipment off at the gym? Or a person who uses one paper towel to ‘clean’ every piece of equipment they use? I ask because there is a really gross guy at the gym who gets one paper towel and then reuses it dozens of times. No, he doesn’t spray cleaner on it repeatedly, nah, just one spray. I am sure it’s still sanitary. Then again this guy looks like 10 lbs of crap in a 5 lb set of beige overalls so I don’t know what I was expecting.

5. As a content creator I have to do a lot of promoting of my work. Nobody else will do it for me. One of the most annoying yet hilarious parts of my promotion comes from a few podcasting groups on Facebook. I share photos and links to my shows on a few such groups. I can count on the same thing happening nearly every time. I put up a post and within seconds there are comments or messages from these jackass people begging for me to pay them to promote my podcast. I now have to turn off notifications for comments on my posts. When these morons message me I immediately ban them on my Facebook podcast page. I am not sure how much the promoting on these podcast pages helps but I have to do all I can to put my name out there. Even if that means disabling notifications and banning people every time.

6. I saw a guy in the grocery store from afar. I thought he had a neat intricate beard on his face. When I got closer? Nope. It was a tattoo. This guy had cursive words inked onto his jaw. I think it might be hard for me to find a stupider idea for a tattoo besides someone who chooses to tattoo their entire head. Yes, I have seen that too with some psychopath at the gym. I’m definitely not anti-tattoo. I am anti stupid tattoos though.

7. It’s always fun when you throw your laundry in and about 5 minutes later realize that you forgot something in the pocket of a coat. Yeah, fun. It was the USB cord for my new phone. The best (worst) part was the washing machine being locked since I stopped it mid-cycle. I had to spend a few minutes figuring out how to unlock it. Then it was another few minutes rifling through sopping wet clothes to find the cord. Good times.

8. It took less than a week for my small dry-erase board to be rendered useless. It weighs nothing and came with 4 big squares of double-sided tape. In theory, it should easily stick to a wall or door. Sadly this was not the case. I had the board stuck snugly on a closet door. The first night I was awakened by the sound of the board falling off and hitting the floor. I thought maybe I hadn’t attached the board securely enough. I pushed on that tape until I was close to cracking the dry-erase board. A few days later I was sitting at the table when I saw it once again fall off the door. For now, I have given up on having this dry-erase board hanging anywhere. It is sitting face up on a table now as useless as can be. Money well spent.

9. I went with my buddy Steve on a fun afternoon photo trip to a few Outer Cape towns. I had a secret spot to show him, plus there was another spot I wanted to check out. These were both close to the beach in Wellfleet. The first spot, an interesting statue on the side of a summer house’s yard, was a success. We nabbed a few photos and got off the property. The second spot was a fail. I wanted to see the famed Oysterman House where Henry David Thoreau stayed on one of his trips along Cape Cod’s outer beach. It is on a secluded dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I was all for walking down the driveway, grabbing a photo, and running away. Unfortunately and ironically the only other house within sight was located next door. I only got about 10 steps down the driveway before I heard a car door shut and saw a person. I ducked back out to the road and we left that spot behind.

10. A bonus of the long walk back to the beach parking lot from the failed attempt at the Oysterman House was finding a fun toy left behind. We assumed it was a dog toy but it was a funny-looking stuffed duck. I was tempted to take it with me and do some sort of skits with it like when I owned a camcorder in high school. Steve wasn’t keen on a dirty dog toy hanging out in his truck so I had to settle for a quick photo.

Proof of the duck's existence.

11. A neat full-circle moment came when we went to shoot the sunset on top of Bearberry Hill in Truro. The last time I visited that spot was the last day I had a drink. The next day I gave up alcohol and have never looked back. That was nearly 4 ½ years ago. It was nice to be standing there in the same place but in a far different place all at once.

12. We ended the photo trip at the iconic Days Cottages in Truro. It’s basically impossible to take a bad photo there. The only problem was the weather got colder and very windy along the water. I was running around getting as many photos and videos as I could. I had to get a photo of colorful clothespins on a line. Unfortunately, the wind wouldn’t let it happen unless I held the line. This led to some frosty fingers but that’s a part of the dedication to the craft.

Cold hands don't care.

Initial Impressions 2.0 #5: Self-Checkout, Mutant B.O., Hidden Coyotes, etc.

 #5 Self-Checkout

1. I was at a self-checkout in a grocery store. All of the scanners were full and most of them needed some assistance including me. An older lady(70ish) was standing at the entrance to the self-checkout alcove holding only a newspaper. The employee in charge of that area repeatedly asked her to come over so she could get checked out before they went to assist with the rest of our checkout issues. For some reason, the older lady didn’t want to go over to the extra register. It ended up being like a person trying to feed a wild animal, coaxing it with food, before the employee finally gave up and flat out said in frustration ‘Why won’t you just come here?’ By the time I was finally helped all of the other people at the self-checkout had been helped and that older lady with the newspaper had also left before me.

2. Pulled in the driveway where I live after dark. The homeowners had just gotten home before me. As I walked from my car across the front yard they turned on the outside light. That was enough to light up a coyote standing twenty feet away next to a tree. Luckily my freaking out to get my keys scared it away, but if the lights hadn’t come on maybe I’d have been its chew toy.

Don't worry, it's just me.

3. Did you know there’s no such thing as a seagull? Growing up on Cape Cod I had always called the gray and white birds that live by the water (and dumpsters) seagulls. In fact, most people call them that. However in reality they are herring gulls and there is no such thing as a bird called a seagull. Crazy. Here’s its ID page: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Herring_Gull/id

4. It’s still amazing how much warmer 50 degrees in February feels as compared to 50 degrees in July. One day this week it was sunny and 55 on my way to work and all I thought as I stood on the beach was that I must really like my job because it was a perfect day to suddenly have a 24-hour bug.

Over 50 degrees at the beach on Cape Cod in February hits differently.

5. Had my first infrared sauna experience this week. 28 total minutes in 140-degree heat. I sweat buckets which basically meant I had tons of toxins I needed to get rid of. Also fun fact, my iPhone stayed with me in the sauna (intentionally) and didn’t blow up, so that’s a bonus.

Man it was hot inside that sauna.

6. Getting on the highway I was stuck behind a blue minivan with New York plates. The big issue came from the huge sheet of plywood on the roof. It definitely got a little wobbly the faster they drove. I didn’t want to end up in one of those Red Asphalt driver’s ed videos so I passed them before the plywood could fly through my windshield and pop my head off like a dandelion.

7. I found an old journal I kept during my time living in Las Vegas in 2000-01. It’s amazing to look back now at 46 to the daily thoughts from when I was 22-23 years old. Some problems were definitely not problems. Some obsessions made me laugh and shake my head. I’m about halfway through it and at times I feel like the narrator answering questions I was asking then. Overall a good trip down memory lane.

8. The latest ‘my life is like an episode of Seinfeld’ moment. Remember the guy with the terrible B.O. in Jerry’s car? Where the smell stayed long after the guy left? At the gym, there is a man whose B.O. pours out of him, even through a thick sweatshirt. It is so bad that the stink cloud hovers over the treadmill he uses long after he leaves. Like Jerry says it’s mutant B.O.

Only slightly exaggerating how bad the B.O. was

9. I finally bought myself a new Blender shaker bottle. They’re great for protein shakes and mixing other drinks for exercise, etc. Anyway, I don’t know what the lifespan is on those bottles but I believe that the one I just threw away I had for 12-13 years. Is that too long? If it is let me tell you about a few gym towels I have that are about the same age.

10. Have you ever not heard a song for many many years and then you listen to it and it instantly puts your mind back to where you were when you were listening to it a lot? I had that happen the other night with a song from the band Live. I hadn’t heard the song in well over 15 years but as soon as it started playing my brain went back to 1997 and the lyrics flooded my head. Music is so powerful.

Listen to the In My Footsteps Podcast

Subscribe to the YouTube Channel

Initial Impressions 2.0 #4: No DMs, Abandoned Shopping Carts, LED Headlights, etc

#4: No DMs

1. I rarely, if ever, accept invitations from people on LinkedIn. I have found out over the past few years that any ‘invite’ you accept is really an invite for them to blast your messages with services you don’t want and didn’t ask for. Just this week I felt bad and added 2 people and within 5 minutes I had messages about optimizing my YouTube channel. I should have known better.

2. Has anyone else noticed people leaving their shopping carts somewhere in the supermarket and then walking far away to grab something and bring it back to their cart? Do they think there’s a force field so that you can only bring your cart to certain areas? I have seen this too many times to count in the last year, it’s really weird.

Hey wait, don't forget your cart!

3. A weird occurrence that happens to me a lot is that I seem to choose the same places on Cape Cod to photograph at the same time of year. This is typically by accident where I’ll see photos of the same place I had just gone in my Facebook memories the same day or the following day. I guess I am a creature of habit without even trying.

I end up at this spot in Centerville, MA nearly every February

4. Getting tens of thousands of views on my blog monthly should be a great achievement. Too bad it’s 99% bots. How do I know this? Because even though my overall view count goes up the view count on any specific posts does not. There should be articles that have tons of views corresponding to all of the general views, right? Yay, thanks bots for making me feel almost successful.

5. Spring can’t come soon enough, the winter blues have taken hold. It’s only partly the weather though. It’s feeling like I’m working twice as hard to get half as far in my content/podcast career, it’s feeling far more isolated since Covid happened, and in the pursuit of my career, it’s growing tired of looking for the ‘right’ person, and the weather, okay it is the weather too.

6. Another business in the same building as my job apparently found a package meant for my boss in their warehouse this week. When was it delivered to the building? November 2022. Pretty much everything was a loss. I don’t know who gets a package anywhere and doesn’t check to make sure it’s theirs, some pretty stupid people there.

Sorry we misplaced your delivery for 15 months.

7. I am now of the age where getting a fancy new electric toothbrush is considered very exciting. I don’t need a luxury car, a super expensive smartphone, or anything like that. A chance to remove 100% more plaque is even better.

8. Since I am back in race training for the first time in nearly 7 years I am starting to have dreams of me running races. Unfortunately, most of the dreams involve me somehow getting lost on the running route. I am hoping this is not a sign of things to come. I don’t need a search party trying to find me like an old person who wandered away from the retirement home.

Race day premonitions?

9. LED headlights are the worst invention ever for vehicles. They literally blind anyone coming in the opposite direction. There has to be a happy medium where headlights are brighter and better but not so much that they put other drivers at risk for their lives.

10. After having a pretty blah day I was walking around Market Basket when I spotted a little girl of maybe 2 staring at me and smiling. I smiled and said hi but she got shy and her parents laughed. That moment instantly made my day 100% better. Thank you to them.

Listen to the In My Footsteps Podcast

Subscribe to the YouTube Channel