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Thursday, March 13, 2025

2000: My Life In Poetry Form - Throwback Thursday

 

This is a weekly recurring series featuring five poems all written within the same calendar year. They capture a sense of what my life and mind were like at a certain age and show the evolution of my life, mind, and writing style. We go back to 2000, a new century. I was deep in the Quarter-Life Crisis, turning 22 years old, and moving from Cape Cod to Las Vegas looking for a new life.

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Finding the Diamond Inside


Everyone can be a star, the distance from the first step isn’t that far.
Everyone can be a winner, one day the pieces will fit, and the puzzle will become one.
Everyone can be a hero, a golden heart is a prerequisite to win the affection of the world.
Everyone can be loved, it’s not hard to open the door when it stands before your eyes.

The shooting star can be you, the light may be quick, but everyone will be shined on. We all have something we’ve got to give, inside us all is a special gift the world is waiting to see. I want to make you smile. I want to help you understand. See through my eyes, feel where I’ve been. I don’t need to be a source of light for millions, connecting with one means I’ve done all I need. I want to share life with the world.

Someday, sometime everyone can be seen, and see everything clearly. It may pass, it may stay. But it will last if you don’t fade. I’ve grown light inside now, years of lifting the weight. Space left empty is filled with ideas and promises to myself. I believe I can show you the way, I promise I’ll damn sure try. See it, this time I mean everything I say. This time I want all I could have.

The ray of light that set me free I will bring to you. To get what you deserve stand up and take it. Ride into the eye of the storm and pull out that diamond in the rough. We all have the diamond inside, someone, somewhere will see it and help it shine through. The time is now, open your arms, I’ll open the door. It’s now or never, please don’t be afraid, take my hand and come inside. Hello world, I’m glad to finally meet you here. Goodbye darkness inside and out, in the light is where I’m gonna stay.
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Hello, Goodbye


Say goodbye to all you know, say goodbye to the ones you counted on.
Say goodbye to that fancy car, you may be walking but you’re walking tall.
Say goodbye to where you stood back then, but don’t fear you’ll see the top of the mountain again.

This sudden trade of boyhood for manhood, this rush of emptiness, it all will change, you suffer for appreciation, soon you’ll see. It’s all right to be scared, don’t embrace the loneliness, you must start over but always remember where you will end up.
You and me, we’ll find each other from opposite sides, we’ll meet in the center of all these moving tides.
There’s music in the air, notes, like clouds they drift, you just need to listen. If you ever feel lost, if ever gravity weighs you down, just call my name. I will part the seas that flood your world and lead you up that hill you face.

Say goodbye to those who told you no,
say goodbye to the ones who dressed you in sadness.
Say goodbye to less is more, your hands can hold more than you’ve been grabbing for.
A simple wish can be the hardest to grant, the music can overwhelm you, invade at every rift, don’t fear that breeze when it climbs under your skin, that’s where the hello’s begin.
Say hello to all you once feared, say hello to that distant island mountaintop.

Say hello to blue oceans in the sand, an oasis all your own,
a spot to know where you stand.
Say hello to life the way it’s supposed to be,
and if you have a moment please say hello to me.
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One Last Kiss

We sat in silence, the night air fell calm around us. Something had changed, the colors rearranged, into the negative of the dream I had lived. I had always promised her gold but all she wanted was me. In some strange twist she had more after she was gone. Before, I had only half listened to her before, like a fool running scared from the truth. But here and now it all came through, breaking my fragile dam built in the dark. Her words broke me down. Tired of pain and heartache she needed me to set her free. Had to hide my 20/20 vision and pretend I could not see. The love was dead, but she needed a keepsake, to stoke the dying flames of bliss. She wanted one last kiss. To remind her how it used to be and would never be again. One last kiss, like a dark shadow that signals the end. She needed to show me once she loved me so. One last kiss to help her say goodbye.

My heart came to rest on the floor, the night air ran cold right through me. The damage had overwhelmed, made her run to another’s arms. What I couldn’t give was the one thing she really needed. The trust part of love, without it nothing was enough. The photos stayed happy even after the memories faded. Now before my eyes the soft lines turn jaded. Anything would be meaningless now, like the one image time won’t let you forget, the actions remained, all the times I let her down. Through the hurt and lies she pushed but I wouldn’t move. Now I’ve fallen down, like an old tree so empty and hollowed by life. The door shut tight I knew nothing was the same, just an instant of loneliness was punishment for all her suffered pain. She looked back and I left her standing there, to turn back would be weak, and she faded from sight. Part of me lies buried where freedom was gained and love was lost. I’m afraid to go back for it cause I don’t want to lose anymore. Still when all is quiet my ears echo that slamming door. She wanted one last kiss. To throw water on the flames and leave a pile of ashes. One last kiss like a storybook ending to a tragic play. She needed to show me it was time to go. One last kiss but I had to drive away.
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Take Me In From the Cold


Woman, I don’t want to be out in the cold anymore.
Can you open your door and let me lay down by the fire?
I will take you higher, but I can’t get off the ground until you share some of the warmth you keep inside. You can melt my troubled heart here tonight.

Oh girl, why won’t you listen to me?
So many things I hide, but I want you to see if you’d only take the time.
Place your hands there and feel the beat steady, working its way into yours.
Place your lips here and release me, pull me out of my cold dark prison.

Darling, darling can’t you hear me calling your name?
It’s in my eyes, and on my mind, to hold you now and not just when I dream.
Come dance with me, candlelighted shadows disguise what goes on underneath.
Let’s take the night together, ride the waves forever.
And when morning checks in, I’ll see your face and it begins.
I’ve been set free, taken in, and not out in the cold anymore.
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